new life still all this strife new opportunity same entropy new start still in bed new attitude still no gratitude new insights still trying to fight new word still not listening new day same old ways new light still seeking shadows new colors same monochromatic soul new gifts same folded arms
for you
on this day
right now
new grace
boundless love
endless mercy
a Cross to bear
with an everlasting Companion
unmerited forgiveness
an endless sunrise
can be yours
receive
be centered
through surrender
be free
through confession
be at rest
through acceptance
come home
it is finished lay down your shame take up your hope lift up your head receive your identity and rise
opened your eyes got out of bed but are you awakened exercised a protein drink from the blender but did you remember to feed your soul to workout the stuff in your heart that you took to bed last night
the morning routine out the door traffic and weather report looks grim you steel your mind and shut the door telling yourself that you are fine another sip of coffee but did you remember to feel something that you know is there to understand yourself just a little bit more being and doing doing and being
more you and i know there is more than the deadline more than all this activity did we lose ourselves more likely we numb ourselves away from pain and disorientation keep the radio on get busy and fill the schedule it’s helps to drown out the noise of all that’s in my head maybe i should have stayed in bed
put the keys on the counter there’s nothing in the fridge it was a good day at the office on the worksite on my shift i think i impressed… someone… anyway i suppose it was just another day there’s something still inside… wait…
why am i crying...
i must be tired or a bit confused maybe a drink will clear out my head hulu and netflix aren’t helping tonight how long have i been staring at this parade of options
was i crying tonight
maybe it was the traffic it was a long day i think i’ll go to bed and try again tomorrow to shake this restless sorrow being doing doing being am i living am i awakened
i know it’s been a long sad sad song and it seems like winter will go on and on i’ll stay here with you in the cold in the dark until we see the new
and in this shadow of death i’ll stay by your side and if it seems that spring is all around but it's not in you a colorless world endures i’ll sit with you cry with you listen to all your angry words until the shadows fall and the flowers return
so if for you this day brings sorrow upon sorrow just another monochrome morning let’s find Him together and believe together that on this steep and narrow road there is tomorrow
and when you cry i won’t ask why and if you ask me how long you’ll be in this sad sad song i could tell you but i’d probably be wrong but i promise I’ll stay and in the dirt and in the dark and in the cold and in this timeless pain we will find new life together
opened my eyes some time at the gym took a look inside silence and stillness with Him and the eastern sky beckoned with colors and i don’t know why at times i want to hide and don’t want to discover i’d rather not uncover the true that’s in me
i need to confess these silhouettes that i present as real why do i fight why can it be so hard to walk towards the Light and be healed and stand in His grace i know shame goes away don't have to hide my face in the welcome of His mercy
shine oh please shine in me i do what’s old in me and don’t do from what i claim is new so please shine and let this new day remind my heart my soul my mind that you are with me you are beneath me before and behind me you are all around me i’ll take another step toward the light not by sight by faith i’ll wait because you are with me
Here in the Midwest we ended 2023 with an unusually warm November and December. 2024 brought us an unusually cold winter. We experienced over a week of temperatures well below freezing. Cloudy, gray skies have also been a feature for far too many days. So, even thought this morning it was -1 degrees Fahrenheit, I was looking forward to trying to capture a sunrise at the Illinois River. Low clouds on the horizon blocked the sun, but I was more intrigued by the ice formations left on the trees from the receding winter river. Thanks for stopping buy. Hope it’s warmer where you are.
so what’s up cloudy winter day what have you got to say you remind me of me today a little chill a little gray the blues are above you somewhere high in the sky like the blues down inside me where i’m tired and i don’t want to try to pretend anymore that it’s sunny act like it’s all okay cloudy morning i hear what you’re trying to say
wait weep stay don’t keep it together just be feel don’t try to weather the weather rest pray chill gray stay connected to your Creator on this cloudy winter day
a frosty cold dawn a gray featureless sky feels just like me today there’s a frozen mist sprinkled on the ground it’s a monochrome morning a colorless song that sounds like me today so i guess i’ll take the Christmas tree down
Christmas carols echo in my living room the grandkids laughing wrapping paper tearing meals we were just sharing are now memories and there’s something sad in me at the end of 2023 so i guess i’ll take the Christmas tree down
a quiet end of the season a gentle closing of the year and for no particular reason a tear appears and it’s okay the past three sixty-five well… let’s just say it can be hard to be alive there have been days of good cheer sorrow and struggle too said a final good-bye to mom and then there are the fractures in the family feeling all the anxiety and those whispers of failure just rise amidst an endless ostinato of whys so i guess i’ll take the Christmas tree down
a plastic stained glass window with a little boy in prayer amber crystal beads a shiny red ball from Macy’s a tiny wooden christmas tree a three story ceramic house a quiet Christmas mouse glimmering shimmering sparkling dazzling all are put to rest almost done there’s just one the last ornament
it’s a smiling angel holding a star with colored gems for wings so there i stand with this angel in my hand i can almost hear it sing a song of grace a melody of peace a smiling angel in my hand helps me know i’m in His hand so i hum a tune i can’t remember which one but i remember the fractures and failures are held in His hand too all our fractures all our failures so grateful He holds them grateful He knows them thanks for listening i’m done taking the Christmas tree down
rutakintome pictures 
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