the story teller

i took a breath
listen
i took another one
i can hear
the soft hush
of oxygen
entering my lungs
bringing life
listen
another hush
is this what life sounds like

i opened my eyes
color
light
darkness
shadows
hues
stars
sunsets
waterfalls
my little girl’s
impossibly tiny
fingers
the gaze
of my beloved eyes
they all fell
through the windows
of my eyes
i opened my eyes
is this what life looks like

i felt something
the slightest variation
of texture
of temperature
an embrace
a fall day
wrapped in
a favorite sweatshirt
the caress of snowflakes
on my face
is this what life
feels like

i heard a sound
a song
a melody
the waves crashing
on the shore
the symphony
of autumn leaves
my little boy
is crying
thunder calling
across the sky
someone said
i love you
is this what life
sounds like

and life can taste
so sweet
as coffee
chases the donut
ice cream’s
creamy comfort
the delight of strawberries
i can smell
each fallen leaf
calling winter near
the scent of summer rain
and the blackened
marshmallow
in the snappy campfire
is this the aroma
and flavor
of life

and what of all the pain
and sorrow too
countless tears
and so alone
and shame chases
me down the years
is this what
life is

transcendence
calls me home
the unseen real
touches my soul
i long for a place
that is real
that is safe
at home with
the author
of my soul
complete
and whole
finally at peace
is this
what eternal
life is

yes
to all the above
and more

i
am
here

no
one
took
me away

so
yes
to
life

yes
to
the
story teller
of
life

it’s a journey after all

i'm so glad
the Light found me
just as i am
i began to be free
identity restored
i'm not trying to earn anymore
i'm so glad
the Light found me

and now a love
has touched my soul
all of my past
all that’s yet to unfold
slowly being restored
i was blind
but now i see
oh, i’m so glad
the light found me

i still stumble
and fall
it’s a journey
after all
so be patient with me
i’ve got miles to go
i’m not what i will be
it’s a struggle you see
but this Light found me
so i trust and i wait
it’s the mess i call faith
but i’m so glad
the Light found me

rest in you

sometimes i feel
like i don’t belong
i’m not a part
of the song
that everyone
seems to know
and i wonder
if i’ll ever know
how to sing again

you see i’m not quite sure
what’s deep inside
i’m not quite sure
that i’m all right
i’m not quite sure
if i
matter
did i ever
matter

hey world
i wonder
if it’s okay with you
to quietly say
i’m not okay
i’m sad
and
don’t
know
why
i’m mad
and even when i try
to find some rest
all i find
is just a mess
i’m just a mess

so i still will pray
peace be still
God please
invade my heart
and my will
and let me see
what you see
in me
and rest
i am a mess
but i’ll rest
in You

i’ll rest
in You

what i saw in chelsea

In my previous post I shared images from the General General Theological Seminary campus in Chelsea NY, the location of a spiritual retreat that Ruth, my wife, and I attended last week. In this post, just a few pics from a walk we took to the Chelsea Piers before having dinner at the Empire Diner.

general theological seminary

My wife, Ruth, and I had the opportunity to attend a spiritual retreat last week at General Theological Seminary, located in the Chelsea neighborhood of New York City. Situated on the west side of Manhattan, the seminary’s first building was build in 1827. The retreat and location provided the perfect setting for solitude, reflection and excellent talks from our retreat guides. We can’t wait to return.

dear mommy dear daddy

dear mommy
dear daddy
i’m sorry
you’re sad
i want you
to know that
i am
with Peace
i am
at peace

dear mommy
dear daddy
this wasn’t
your fault
i want you
to know that
i am free
of pain

dear mommy
dear daddy
when grieving
gives space
the light
that you gave me
let it shine
in this world
so many
are living
but they’re
not alive
lonely
forgotten
and screaming
inside
it would
make me
so happy
to know
you
are
listening

dear mommy
dear daddy
give others
what you
gave me
love
light
life

dear mommy
dear daddy
if i could just say
this longing
this knowing
it’s not supposed
to be this way
we all know it
we all see it
do you know
what it means
that we all
know this place
that we never
have seen
where all is made right
no darkness only light
where mommies
and daddies
at the end of the day
hug their children
and play
and love
is over all
in all
between all
so let us all pray
Your Kingdom come
Your will be done
on earth
as it is
in heaven

- written with lament, sorrow, love and prayers for those who lost everything and for the community of Uvalde