it’s time start
another latte
la dee da day
man the traffic
is insane today
well
like every other day
routine kicks in
meetings
where no one
really meets
a zoom here
a zoom there
a formica connection
can look so nice
a cladding smile
hope they don’t see
my empty eyes
what does it say
when the best part
of this day
is traffic
on the way
home to my
netflix series
or was it hulu
what’s a lonely soul
to do
there’s a war somewhere
everybody’s yelling
but no one’s really saying
anything
that sounds like truth
or has some roots
that sink deep in my heart
so i lift up my eyes
and through the tears
i cry why
why did i say it that way
why did they make fun of me
why does the sadness stay
why God
do you sometimes
feel so far away
you see i’m in the boat
the horizon is gone
and the storms
rage within
and all around
so wake up Lord
wake up
i don’t know
what to do
but i know
you
are
here
in my messy today
in my messy yesterday
oh won’t you
wake up
my soul
because
i see the Tree
You there for me
i’ll linger here
and sing a song
to You
the melody
may be sad
but for now
it’s all i have
so it’s Yours
and
i
am
too
eye wonder
if what i see
if there is more
than what eye see
of me
and you
interpretation
assumptions
stories
lies and truth
imaginations
distortions
chromatic
abberations
and sometimes
i choose to be blind
to you before me
for this is how
it should be
eye see you
before i see me
there are so
many filters
in my soul
many wilted
memories
monochromatic
melodies
i’m sorry
i just didn’t see
you there
the opaque pride
the veil inside
a sabotage
of my own
i want to see you
eyes on you
not eyes on me
living color
harmonies
i’m opening my eyes
to see
all the wonder
that is you
before
me
eye
see
you
it's not that the light has surrendered
or darkness has won
it's not that the day is done
or the night has begun
it's the rhythm of all things
the spinning and turning
the inhaling and exhaling
the rising and setting
it's the beauty
that accompanies
all that is held together
the colors that connect your soul
to the Artist of infinite insight
to the Artist who created colors
colors so exquisitely subtle
shades and hues
as countless as the sand on the shore
it's the clouds
and their random patterns
their playful textures
it's the breathless moment
when our eyes are transfixed
when we are able
to analyze and explain
and yet have no understanding
when our minds
our hearts
finally see something greater
we intuit the real
and that place of longing awakens
for love that lasts
for peace that endures
for hope fulfilled
for faith that comforts
let's chase Light
embrace the colors
take the long narrow way
of other-centered living
and loving
and seek
the Artist
of
our
souls
blue skies
dancing with the sea
on the far horizon
i can see
the wild waves
searching for the shore
searching with me
for so much more
than i can see
blue skies
there is no outer space
through the universe
we race
let’s just pause
let’s just wait
listen
close
our
eyes
beneath these
blue blue skies
i dream
i dance
i lift my soul
to You
this longing
for peace
and relief
from all the toil inside
identity relies
and lies outside
with You
i surrender my ID
to You
beneath
these blue blue skies
i’m safe
with You
no easter monday morning blues for me
i hit the snooze times three
don’t want a jelly belly day
the church is empty and the band went home
the dawn has come to say hello
the plastic eggs are put away
but no easter monday morning blues for me
no easter monday morning blues for me
the kids are late the bus on time
how can a child make so much whine
has there really been a change in me
i need to hunt for peace and be free
from the weight of all the noise inside
He rose
i rise
He rose
i rise
yes
no easter monday morning blues for me
no easter monday morning blues for me
i’m different now and yet the same
shame shadows call and taunt with glee
i’m doing more but i just need to be
remembering love’s refrain
that it is finished
yes, it is finished
and though i fall in that same place
i’ll remind myself of His great grace
and take that little step of faith
no easter monday morning blues for me
He rose
i rise
He rose
i rise
each moment through this crazy day
He’s resurrection lights the way
so i can trust and say
no easter monday morning blues for me
not sure that i'm ok
doesn't matter anyway
it's just another day
feeling like i lost my way
running here and running there
things to do
but i just don't care
got a few more likes
is this real life
a venti latte if you please
is anyone else ill at ease
i wonder if i scream
will i wake up from this dream
and feel again
and breathe again
the preacher said that He's alive
oh God i really hope that's true
i guess i want to be made new
all the old is just so hard
learn stuff
get stuff
and find a cause
i know i want to be set free
would really love to be just me
Jesus did you rise that high
higher than my shame inside
cause if you did please hear my cry
something has to change inside
confession is so hard for me
Jesus here is the real me
help me rise and live again
help me please i'm on my knees
dear God please rise
dear Jesus come alive
in me
is there a sunrise
in all that is setting in me
will all the shadows
in this blackhole
that is me
finally flee
o rise
great Light of mine
please rise
i’m overwhelmed inside
so rise
great Light of mine
please rise
i don’t know
where to go
so
great Light of mine
rise
i keep leaving
the same place
i’ve been here before
i surrender again
remember again
the story of me
is yours
o rise
great Light of mine
please rise
won’t you
hear my cries
and rise
please still
my wandering heart
start something new inside
great Light of mine
rise
there’s a
never ending dawn
i long to see
i’ll cast aside
these anchors
finally free
i’ll be
just the me
you always dreamed
for me
and
just
rest
so rise
great Light of mine
please rise
i’ve got another
step to take
i can’t bear
all the weight
but i choose
to wait
for you
great Light
of mine
please
rise
so i might as well
write about the clouds today
lately more than a few
have come my way
but
hey
why do i think
that it has to
always go
my way
clouds
gray
lately they seem to stay
these uninvited guests
well
even when i try my best
to pretend
they just won't rest
until tears reappear
tearing through
my gray
gray
mind
oh i wonder if
i will ever find
a way
through
all the clouds
and all
the
gray
oh cardinal
is there a prayer for me
wrapped up
in all your music
and melody
through the gray
the notes they fly
to find the light
they tell my soul
that it’s okay
to take a stroll
through
all the clouds
and all
the
gray
and just stay
wait
and
pray
We moved to our current home in Illinois from Michigan back in 2004, but it’s not the first time we have lived in Illinois. We first arrived in Chicago-land back in 1988. However, it wasn’t until we came back in 2004 that we discovered Matthiessen State Park.
The day started out with the typical refrain of cold, low, gray clouds, but Mr. I-Can’t-Seem-To-Get-The-Weather-Report-Right promised clearing skies and it came to pass that a beautiful, mostly sunny afternoon emerged.
One of the things I love about each of the it-feels-like-hundreds-of-times that I have visited this park is that it is always new. It’s like discovering and exploring for the first time, each time.
And I love the quiet… the sense of calm…
I am glad I made time to reflect… walk… listen to a waterfall, or the water gurgling over rocks and a stubborn oak leaf…
i am trying to remember
that song
i think it was a duet
before all went wrong
maybe in a minor key
a slow tempo
a slow dance
a sparkling melody
it definitely had harmony
how did that song go
or
more to the counterpoint
where did that song go
i touch a note
play a chord
i rise and fall each day
like a wandering tune
not quite on the beat
trying to see
trying to find
do re mi
trying to find
you and me
the lyrics
started out so sweet
a story of promises
a promise to keep
maybe the strings
had too much tension
maybe the strings
became unwound
wounds have a way
of making their own
sound
telling their own
tale
and they set sail
on an ocean
of i just don’t care
to sing anymore
i put too many quarters
in this silent jukebox
never going back to the shore
three four
four four
six eight
i thought we would
top the charts
with each take
and now the page
is just dots and lines
i’m looking for my entrance
for my cue
i’m looking
i’m looking
for me
and for you
learning a new song
signing a new line
counting us in
not counting us out
like an endless fermata
you waited for me
we had to rest
there is music in that silence
it’s not the best
is yet to come
more like
holding on
holding hands
auditioning again
finding the perfect blend
of our beating broken hearts
let’s start by humming
a sweet
gentle hum
a wordless
song
that tells it all
holds it all
believes it all
and still
loves
the story it tells
rutakintome pictures 
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