the world i see… the occasional poem… thanks for stopping by…
Author: rutakintome
I married Ruth, my high school sweetheart, in 1983 and we have four children and 5 grandchildren. I have been the worship pastor at Mission Bible Church since 2004. Minooka is a southwest suburb of Chicago. I love singing, bicycling, music, boxing, movies, The Beatles, sunsets, Mahler, the seashore, sunsets at the seashore, and… the seashore. Originally from New York, I grew up 15 minutes from the beautiful beaches of southern Long Island. I have a Fuji X-T30 that I use to capture the world I see. Please let me know what you think about these images.
so i might as well
write about the clouds today
lately more than a few
have come my way
but
hey
why do i think
that it has to
always go
my way
clouds
gray
lately they seem to stay
these uninvited guests
well
even when i try my best
to pretend
they just won't rest
until tears reappear
tearing through
my gray
gray
mind
oh i wonder if
i will ever find
a way
through
all the clouds
and all
the
gray
oh cardinal
is there a prayer for me
wrapped up
in all your music
and melody
through the gray
the notes they fly
to find the light
they tell my soul
that it’s okay
to take a stroll
through
all the clouds
and all
the
gray
and just stay
wait
and
pray
We moved to our current home in Illinois from Michigan back in 2004, but it’s not the first time we have lived in Illinois. We first arrived in Chicago-land back in 1988. However, it wasn’t until we came back in 2004 that we discovered Matthiessen State Park.
The day started out with the typical refrain of cold, low, gray clouds, but Mr. I-Can’t-Seem-To-Get-The-Weather-Report-Right promised clearing skies and it came to pass that a beautiful, mostly sunny afternoon emerged.
One of the things I love about each of the it-feels-like-hundreds-of-times that I have visited this park is that it is always new. It’s like discovering and exploring for the first time, each time.
And I love the quiet… the sense of calm…
I am glad I made time to reflect… walk… listen to a waterfall, or the water gurgling over rocks and a stubborn oak leaf…
i am trying to remember
that song
i think it was a duet
before all went wrong
maybe in a minor key
a slow tempo
a slow dance
a sparkling melody
it definitely had harmony
how did that song go
or
more to the counterpoint
where did that song go
i touch a note
play a chord
i rise and fall each day
like a wandering tune
not quite on the beat
trying to see
trying to find
do re mi
trying to find
you and me
the lyrics
started out so sweet
a story of promises
a promise to keep
maybe the strings
had too much tension
maybe the strings
became unwound
wounds have a way
of making their own
sound
telling their own
tale
and they set sail
on an ocean
of i just don’t care
to sing anymore
i put too many quarters
in this silent jukebox
never going back to the shore
three four
four four
six eight
i thought we would
top the charts
with each take
and now the page
is just dots and lines
i’m looking for my entrance
for my cue
i’m looking
i’m looking
for me
and for you
learning a new song
signing a new line
counting us in
not counting us out
like an endless fermata
you waited for me
we had to rest
there is music in that silence
it’s not the best
is yet to come
more like
holding on
holding hands
auditioning again
finding the perfect blend
of our beating broken hearts
let’s start by humming
a sweet
gentle hum
a wordless
song
that tells it all
holds it all
believes it all
and still
loves
the story it tells
well snowy spring morning
i wonder did you know
that through the window
of my soul
the snow is falling
soft and still
the birdsong
silent ‘neath the chill
and beauty
hides in the silence
and sadness hides
in the unknown
and hope hides
in the fleeting faith
that rises with
each falling flake of snow
did you know
snowy spring morning
there is something growing
in the waiting
flowers put their hoodies on
and trees are standing
at the ready
oh snowy spring morning
paint the ground
and sparkle the air
i’ll find the beauty
while the birds
remember their songs
and beauty
hides in the silence
and sadness hides
in the unknown
and hope hides
in the fleeting faith
that rises with
each falling flake of snow
did you know
snowy spring morning
uncertainty disorientation a gray shadow blankets the light confusion an opaque spirit descends in my mind and tries to dislodge hope from my soul it nearly succeeds
turn to the left turn to the right turn around move stay still speak remain silent try surrender everything matters and nothing does i can’t focus on the next step what kind of morning is this what kind of dawn haunts me
i think i’ll wait i choose to listen my Maker is near and He whispers through the diffused shadows of my fear He sings through the longing in my tears and in this moment nothing has changed the struggle remains so i yield to this moment and trust in His mysterious love
o sunset sky
i wonder if you cry
as you say goodbye
to all this day
has left behind
o sunset sky
would you stay with me
and cry
my sunset sky
o sunset sky
what do you see
as darkness falls
around me
this pain and loss
and mystery
i cannot see
what lies before me
o sunset sky
won’t you cry for me
o sunset sky
i know you try
to make smile
all that fire in the sky
it leaps so high
and fills my world
with colors
and beauty
and wonder
and that ache
in my heart
just starts
again
so goodbye
my sunset sky
goodbye
Here are too many images from a cruise vacation we recently enjoyed. These images are from the ship at sea, Key West, Florida, and Labadee, Haiti. Thanks for stopping by.
it feels like
it’s just out of my reach
just beyond my grasp
like a black and white ocean
through sad glass
the swells and sighs of the sea
capture my gaze
for a moment
time is as endless
as the white caps on the waves
that parade across the horizon
the answers
to the unspoken questions
on this surprise quiz called life
the sadness that always
seems to rise inside
failure songs
refrains of shame
all that i don’t know or see
of the ocean depths in me
oh spirit swept waves of grace
drown me in your peace
let my countenance be raised
my fear assuaged
my longing engaged
in the rapture
of your ways
i surrender
helper
comforter
to your ways
This is the third and last post from a visit to the Kings Park Psychiatric Center with my brother on a recent trip back to New York. While walking the grounds we came upon this wall that appeared to be the remains of some kind of outdoor gathering place. (?)
The textures were fascinating here. And those trees! Just incredible how they found life, water and sustenance through the brick and stone.
On the left side was a small storage room (?) guarded by a fallen tree that we were hoping was the opening of a tunnel.
This is the 2nd of 3 posts from a recent trip back home to New York. My brother invited me to explore the abandoned Kings Park Psychiatric Center. The psychiatric center was built on 800 acres of land. We only explored a tiny portion of the property and its buildings. This post focuses more on the incredible artwork that is very much a part of this abandoned landscape.
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