What follows are small scenes that have surfaced in my heart as I reflect on my mom. She passed away in 2023.

I can remember, as a child, laying on my mother’s lap as she gently consoled me through the pain of another ear infection. I can only imagine, in a moment like that, the pain that my mom might have been feeling. She lost her first child.

For my mom, it seemed as if every cough sneeze, or stomach ache was an emergency room triage worthy event. And who could blame her. An abiding, dark sorrow walked beside her until she passed. I believe her great love came from her immeasurable capacity to give of herself and serve, and her fear of loss. I am grateful that she is at rest, and has been reunited with her first child.

This may sound odd, but my mom carried herself the way I would imagine a person of true royalty would. Not in a high and mighty way, or in any way that would set her apart from others – she was the most grounded person I may ever know. She was soft spoken, easily discerned people, and gave respect and attention to any one, while quietly expecting the same. She was barely 5 feet tall, but she was regal and statuesque of heart, mind, and soul.

I cannot remember my mom without remembering my dad. In her nineties, I had the privilege of watching my dad wash my mom’s feet. Every morning he carefully washed them, then he applied lotion and an analgesic with a precision and caution that any surgeon would envy. Sacred moments.

While my mom’s melancholy and depression was always near, she had a capacity for celebration and joy that, for as long as it lasted, kicked sadness and affliction down the street. Her laughter was a sunrise… a million stars in a heartbroken sky.

Wisdom + Insight + Discernment + Knowledge + Experience + Lots of moxie + Love = mom.

I suppose that if any one of us carried the weight of this life for as long as my mom did, we would be willing and eager to be free, to leave this world, to bid farewell to the ephemeral joys and pleasures that may come, and to awaken in an eternity of unwavering, holy promises from our Lord. My mother has no need for a lamp or light, and she, who wept so, has no more tears. All of her burdens have now been lifted. I miss her smile. Her love. Her wisdom. Her sageness and savvy. I am so grateful for my mom.