Tag: love

black and white guatemala

I took too many photos (Is that even possible?) during my recent trip to Guatemala. Whittling down the images I processed in black and white for this post was a bit painful. Like trying to tell Baskin-Robbins what flavor I want. (In case you’re interested, it’s always vanilla. I know… I know…)

This first gallery contains images from Antigua, Santa Maria de Jesús, Santiago Atitlan and Altamira Oriole Antigua.

Opportunities to love the unnoticed and to care for the forgotten are opportunities to have your soul grounded in what matters, and liberated from all the temporal pursuits that occupy so much of our mental and spiritual energy.

Our contact in Guatemala took us to a ministry in Santa Maria de Jesús that provided a solid foundation for the best that we image bearers carry – namely our longing to connect and to express love for others – as well as giving us a chance to be uncaged from our many preferred prisons. Examples abound.

The ministry is called Harvesting Happiness. The work is profoundly simple and indescribably beautiful. Provide lunch for the elderly population. Provide a gathering space where the aged can enjoy a meal, create art, and have their birthday’s celebrated. They also bring lunch to the elderly who cannot walk due to illness or other physical limitations. Beautiful.

Which brings us to Carmen, and her home.

Standing next to Carmen is Brennan. She is one of the ministry leaders at Harvesting Happiness who leverages her medical training to help Carmen’s oxygen saturation go from below 90 to a marginally acceptable level that morning, and consistently uses her super power (love and other-centeredness) to impact the elderly community around her. Carmen considers Brennan to be her “mom.” Carmen remembers her mom, and feels like the love, care, and medical oversight that she experiences through Brennan is her mother’s love returning to her. Our Guatemala contact built her home a few years back.

Let me encourage you to find the unnoticed and to love them. Let me also encourage you to find ways to be uncaged. Thanks for stopping by. I don’t know when exactly it is, but… Happy Birthday.

if

if the light can reach my soul
then why can’t i find my way
if the words can pierce my mind
then why are there none to say
if the room is filled with friends
then why am i so alone
if i just can’t see the end
then where am i to go

if i can sing a melody of fire
then why is it cold at night
if i can walk along a distant shore
then why am i sad and my eyes so dry
if i can run into your arms
then why is the path so long
if i can wander in a field of memories
then why do i awake forlorn
fly
oh my soul
fly
the Light has come down for you
guiding your searching soul
His promises faithful and and true
for they will mend and make you whole
and remember
the never-forsaking God
is beside you
let His embrace define you

fly
oh my soul
fly
His fire will scatter the night
stay on the sorrowful shore
and raise your tears to the sky
as you open your heart
and let go of the why
yes it’s narrow and steep
so stay on your knees
and fly
oh my soul
fly

embodied grace and love

I know! I married and movie star! (And now, this starlet is not too happy with the way I started this tribute!)

Because my bride, my love, is only a movie star if you measure stardom by the capacity to live your life for others, by the authenticity and safety you give others because you are integrated and at peace with yourself, and by fulfilling your role as mom and Nana with embodied grace and love.

Perfection is not for those who wish to be impactful mothers. It is a messy, imperfect, daunting, perilous journey, filled with detours, fireworks worthy joys and celebrations, hurts, and the work and often difficult commitment to love… selflessly… with abandon… I am so grateful for the grace and love that I see in our kids that came from their mom.

Nana: Thoughtful. Present. Patient. Giving. Ruth makes everyone feel special, seen, welcome, safe… and that’s her with any other adult that is a part of her world.

But for her grand kids… well… turn up the volume and crank the bass all the way up! She is all in. She has a way of making small things special. A ride to school turns into a conversation where she expresses care, love and affirmation. A visit to her office turns into an opportunity for a grand child to partner with Nana and all the important work she does.

There are too many examples to name, but Nana consistently speaks life over these kids. She connects with them in deep levels that are understood between her and each child.

She is a shining star in the hearts of all who know her… especially her beloved grandchildren. I am grateful.

sageness… moxie… love… my mom

What follows are small scenes that have surfaced in my heart as I reflect on my mom. She passed away in 2023.

I can remember, as a child, laying on my mother’s lap as she gently consoled me through the pain of another ear infection. I can only imagine, in a moment like that, the pain that my mom might have been feeling. She lost her first child.

For my mom, it seemed as if every cough sneeze, or stomach ache was an emergency room triage worthy event. And who could blame her. An abiding, dark sorrow walked beside her until she passed. I believe her great love came from her immeasurable capacity to give of herself and serve, and her fear of loss. I am grateful that she is at rest, and has been reunited with her first child.

This may sound odd, but my mom carried herself the way I would imagine a person of true royalty would. Not in a high and mighty way, or in any way that would set her apart from others – she was the most grounded person I may ever know. She was soft spoken, easily discerned people, and gave respect and attention to any one, while quietly expecting the same. She was barely 5 feet tall, but she was regal and statuesque of heart, mind, and soul.

I cannot remember my mom without remembering my dad. In her nineties, I had the privilege of watching my dad wash my mom’s feet. Every morning he carefully washed them, then he applied lotion and an analgesic with a precision and caution that any surgeon would envy. Sacred moments.

While my mom’s melancholy and depression was always near, she had a capacity for celebration and joy that, for as long as it lasted, kicked sadness and affliction down the street. Her laughter was a sunrise… a million stars in a heartbroken sky.

Wisdom + Insight + Discernment + Knowledge + Experience + Lots of moxie + Love = mom.

I suppose that if any one of us carried the weight of this life for as long as my mom did, we would be willing and eager to be free, to leave this world, to bid farewell to the ephemeral joys and pleasures that may come, and to awaken in an eternity of unwavering, holy promises from our Lord. My mother has no need for a lamp or light, and she, who wept so, has no more tears. All of her burdens have now been lifted. I miss her smile. Her love. Her wisdom. Her sageness and savvy. I am so grateful for my mom.

on my way home

i’m on a road
i think i’m in control
i think i know where i need to go
i think i can see
i think i can find my way back home
i think there’s nothing behind me
so why am i surprised
at the tears in my eyes
trying to be free
while looking for a sign
to ease my mind
as i struggle 
to leave behind
all the troubled times
i carry in my soul
things said and done
they take a toll
make me want to run
but i choose to stay
and follow the Way
i sing of amazing grace
i sing through my tears
of a perfect love
that drives away fear
as the rain plays a melody
reminding me
that i am not in control
but i’m safe in the shadow
of the wings of His love
as i travel
on my way home

as if we really believe

where is heart of the church
the part that heals and feels pain
and seeks to secure
the good of the poor
the stranger
the unnoticed
we pursue innovation
but we need renovation
of the inside of our soul
the content of our heart
so we can be a part
of redeeming all that fell
and all the hell in and around us as well

it is time to rebuild
to be still
to make a decision of the will
to put on the Lord Jesus
clothed in grace
we move into the world
that God so loved that he gave
and embrace the stranger
welcome the foreigner
we face our flaws
surrender our rights
and set our sights
on washing feet
extending a hand
we stand
as ambassadors of the Way
and we stay
we forgive
today we live
not for ourselves
but for those in need
for those who cry
and die alone
for those who cry
without a home

what has gone wrong
that we have become
a resounding gong
we sing all those sunday songs
and harbor hate
hold a grudge
belittle our spouse
to name just a few
and hide in the house
of our pride
we mock and scorn
an opposing view
and then we lock our soul
in the rigid soil
of i must win
and we stew in the cauldron
of our sin

Holy Spirit
enter into the dark hidden sins
for we are clanging cymbals
who serve and sing and teach
we study read and systematically
arrange our grand theology
and solve the mysteries
give knowledge increase
but we are just running
from what is the greatest of these
we are nothing
without love

renovate our mind
restore our heart
we have made such a mess
let us be people of kindness
taking our place
in rhythms of grace
walking talking and loving
as if we really believe
that he has Risen

as if we really believe

merry christmas

Dear WordPress family: wishing you all a joyful Holiday Season filled with light, love, and peace for you and yours.

i wonder

i wonder what she’s praying for
she’s pleading for
she’s kneeling for
i wonder what this child of God
is asking of her Lord

perhaps for peace inside her soul
and in this world
and in this world
perhaps for peace inside your soul
won’t you plead with her now

perhaps for love inside her soul
and in your heart
and in your heart
perhaps for love inside her soul
won’t you plead with her now

i wonder what she’s praying for
she’s pleading for
she’s kneeling for
i wonder what this child of God
is asking of her Lord

perhaps for rest from all her pain
from all her pain
from all her pain
perhaps for rest for you and me
from all the pain we feel

perhaps for pardon from her sins
from her sins
from her sins
perhaps for pardon for your sins
won’t you implore with her now

i wonder what she’s praying for
she’s pleading for
she’s kneeling for
i wonder what this child of God
is asking of her Lord

i wonder if we all could kneel
we all could kneel
we all could kneel
i wonder if we all could kneel
and join her right now
cry out with her now
be humble with her now
be a child of God
right now

you

when was the last time
you walked across
the noise in your life
and journeyed
into the depth of you

when was the last time
you just were still
and present to your soul
your longing
your sorrow
your joy
your hope
your anxiety
your darkness

when was the last time
you closed your eyes
and settled into your spirit
named the pain
let the tears carry away the sorrow

when was the last time
you heard your voice
when it tore down another soul
did it leave you broken
did it stab your heart

when was the last time
you surrendered
you admitted your limits
faced your shadows
let pride fall away in humility

when was the last time
you said
thank you
i love you
i was wrong
please forgive me
i need help

when was the last time
you leaned into your ordinariness
you opened your heart
to your strengths and weaknesses
you listened to feedback
you didn’t defend yourself

when was the last time
you were you
not as you think you are
but listened to others
and how they experience
you

you are an ocean
a vast sea of dreams
of loss
laughter
weeping
of love
fear
perseverance
sin
of cowardice
strength
power
kindness
of impotence
clarity
valor
uncertainty
and so much more

you
are
human
created by God
loved by God
seek Him
rest in Him
receive His love
live in His grace
receive His forgiveness
be alive
in Him
He knows full well
you
are
human

good-bye hello

say good-bye
to the veneer covering your soul
to shallow shadow living
say hello to all you are
those parts of you
kept tidy and tucked away
integrate your shiny self
with your darkness too

say good-bye
to not knowing
you
to not reflecting
to not pondering
how those you love
experience
you
say hello
to living inside out
be present to yourself
listen
listen
listen
as others share
what they see
who they see
what they feel

say good-bye
to running here and there
to getting it all done
to being okay with the frazzle
breaking your mind
feeding your anxiety
say hello to stillness
to stopping
ceasing
waiting
to closing your eyes
just breathing
say good-bye
to pretending
you’re doing fine
the pain in your body
is telling a different story
all that scrolling
diminishes you
watching another series
living other’s lives
just won’t do
say hello
to being real
to crying
to sobbing
to lamenting
the hard stories
that live in you
must be told

say good-bye
to your own strength
intellect
will
gifts
determination
you’re such a success
but kind of a mess
say hello
to faith
to trust
you did not make yourself
He created you
every moment is written
His thoughts about you
are precious