Tag: love

on that day

on that day
we just wanted to go home
to be safe in familiar surroundings
and in the company of faces
that were a part of our story
we wanted to kiss our sons and daughters
hold our mothers and fathers
see their eyes
and feel safe

while so many spent that day
longing
searching
crushed
by the increasing pressure
and certainty
that a father was gone
a mom may never be found
a daughter ran in to rescue others
and never returned
a son couldn’t get out
a group of strangers
valiantly fought for life

there were some gifts
in the shadows
light breaking through
the smoke and flames

we saw each other

we beheld the beauty
and treasure of…. us
we became human
we remembered our humanity
in a way
that brought us face to face
with our frailty and brevity
and in that moment
we turned to love
and some of us
turned to God
to curse Him
or to seek His face
and pray
Kyrie eleison
Christe eleison

we knew
for a few brief moments
that we are here to love
we knew that
we are here to comfort one another
hold each another
see each other

now we scroll
now we post
we can be so unkind
to anyone
who is different
or disagrees with us
and the greater sin and distortion
is that we justify our rudeness
feel pride in our dismissiveness
are gleeful when we hit enter
and inform the world
of wherever truth
we think they need to hear
it seems we have forgotten
our humanity

after 25 years
maybe the best way
to remember
is to never forget
that we were created
by a loving God
that we don’t have
as much time
as we think
that we are all human
that we all need love
and need to love
to remember that
our tribe
our party
our cause
might be turning us against
our best self
and each other

maybe the best way to remember
is for the next 25 years
we take time to lean in to our frailty
to reflect on the brevity of this life
to seek God
to love our neighbor
to be human

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ – Matthew 22:37-40

i belong

i’m on a lost and found table
which means
of course
i know exactly where i am
but no one else does

separated from certainty
waiting to be recognized
next to a gray hoodie
and a pink water bottle
adorned with barbie stickers
and a pair of warby parker sun glasses

it’s funny how much stuff
can go unnoticed
and is apparently unwanted
and how temporary
and impossibly thin i can feel

like the shadow of a tree
lengthening and diminishing
as the sun welcomes the night

after all these years
of waking up
you realize that life is an apparition
we are a mist on this earth

we toil and run
sing and work
dance and hate
love and fret
create and scream

and the theme of it all
the ostinato beneath this journey
is a longing
that we know cannot be fulfilled
while we are still here

we long to be free
from being tethered to the soil
and we know
that we have been leaving
since our story began
we just want to stay

so instead of identifying
where this longing leads
we invest our souls
in tiny pursuits
expiration dates constrict
all of our efforts
to be known
loved
and declared worthy
until we find ourselves
on the lost and found table

screaming for someone to join our tribe
yet afraid of losing our loneliness
crying for justice and healing
yet ignoring the wounds
of our crumbling souls

i will be found

after all
the warby parkers
were picked up
surely someone will
will see me

has seen me

will remember me

has created me

will look for me

has found me

i belong

black and white guatemala

I took too many photos (Is that even possible?) during my recent trip to Guatemala. Whittling down the images I processed in black and white for this post was a bit painful. Like trying to tell Baskin-Robbins what flavor I want. (In case you’re interested, it’s always vanilla. I know… I know…)

This first gallery contains images from Antigua, Santa Maria de Jesús, Santiago Atitlan and Altamira Oriole Antigua.

Opportunities to love the unnoticed and to care for the forgotten are opportunities to have your soul grounded in what matters, and liberated from all the temporal pursuits that occupy so much of our mental and spiritual energy.

Our contact in Guatemala took us to a ministry in Santa Maria de Jesús that provided a solid foundation for the best that we image bearers carry – namely our longing to connect and to express love for others – as well as giving us a chance to be uncaged from our many preferred prisons. Examples abound.

The ministry is called Harvesting Happiness. The work is profoundly simple and indescribably beautiful. Provide lunch for the elderly population. Provide a gathering space where the aged can enjoy a meal, create art, and have their birthday’s celebrated. They also bring lunch to the elderly who cannot walk due to illness or other physical limitations. Beautiful.

Which brings us to Carmen, and her home.

Standing next to Carmen is Brennan. She is one of the ministry leaders at Harvesting Happiness who leverages her medical training to help Carmen’s oxygen saturation go from below 90 to a marginally acceptable level that morning, and consistently uses her super power (love and other-centeredness) to impact the elderly community around her. Carmen considers Brennan to be her “mom.” Carmen remembers her mom, and feels like the love, care, and medical oversight that she experiences through Brennan is her mother’s love returning to her. Our Guatemala contact built her home a few years back.

Let me encourage you to find the unnoticed and to love them. Let me also encourage you to find ways to be uncaged. Thanks for stopping by. I don’t know when exactly it is, but… Happy Birthday.

if

if the light can reach my soul
then why can’t i find my way
if the words can pierce my mind
then why are there none to say
if the room is filled with friends
then why am i so alone
if i just can’t see the end
then where am i to go

if i can sing a melody of fire
then why is it cold at night
if i can walk along a distant shore
then why am i sad and my eyes so dry
if i can run into your arms
then why is the path so long
if i can wander in a field of memories
then why do i awake forlorn
fly
oh my soul
fly
the Light has come down for you
guiding your searching soul
His promises faithful and and true
for they will mend and make you whole
and remember
the never-forsaking God
is beside you
let His embrace define you

fly
oh my soul
fly
His fire will scatter the night
stay on the sorrowful shore
and raise your tears to the sky
as you open your heart
and let go of the why
yes it’s narrow and steep
so stay on your knees
and fly
oh my soul
fly

embodied grace and love

I know! I married and movie star! (And now, this starlet is not too happy with the way I started this tribute!)

Because my bride, my love, is only a movie star if you measure stardom by the capacity to live your life for others, by the authenticity and safety you give others because you are integrated and at peace with yourself, and by fulfilling your role as mom and Nana with embodied grace and love.

Perfection is not for those who wish to be impactful mothers. It is a messy, imperfect, daunting, perilous journey, filled with detours, fireworks worthy joys and celebrations, hurts, and the work and often difficult commitment to love… selflessly… with abandon… I am so grateful for the grace and love that I see in our kids that came from their mom.

Nana: Thoughtful. Present. Patient. Giving. Ruth makes everyone feel special, seen, welcome, safe… and that’s her with any other adult that is a part of her world.

But for her grand kids… well… turn up the volume and crank the bass all the way up! She is all in. She has a way of making small things special. A ride to school turns into a conversation where she expresses care, love and affirmation. A visit to her office turns into an opportunity for a grand child to partner with Nana and all the important work she does.

There are too many examples to name, but Nana consistently speaks life over these kids. She connects with them in deep levels that are understood between her and each child.

She is a shining star in the hearts of all who know her… especially her beloved grandchildren. I am grateful.

sageness… moxie… love… my mom

What follows are small scenes that have surfaced in my heart as I reflect on my mom. She passed away in 2023.

I can remember, as a child, laying on my mother’s lap as she gently consoled me through the pain of another ear infection. I can only imagine, in a moment like that, the pain that my mom might have been feeling. She lost her first child.

For my mom, it seemed as if every cough sneeze, or stomach ache was an emergency room triage worthy event. And who could blame her. An abiding, dark sorrow walked beside her until she passed. I believe her great love came from her immeasurable capacity to give of herself and serve, and her fear of loss. I am grateful that she is at rest, and has been reunited with her first child.

This may sound odd, but my mom carried herself the way I would imagine a person of true royalty would. Not in a high and mighty way, or in any way that would set her apart from others – she was the most grounded person I may ever know. She was soft spoken, easily discerned people, and gave respect and attention to any one, while quietly expecting the same. She was barely 5 feet tall, but she was regal and statuesque of heart, mind, and soul.

I cannot remember my mom without remembering my dad. In her nineties, I had the privilege of watching my dad wash my mom’s feet. Every morning he carefully washed them, then he applied lotion and an analgesic with a precision and caution that any surgeon would envy. Sacred moments.

While my mom’s melancholy and depression was always near, she had a capacity for celebration and joy that, for as long as it lasted, kicked sadness and affliction down the street. Her laughter was a sunrise… a million stars in a heartbroken sky.

Wisdom + Insight + Discernment + Knowledge + Experience + Lots of moxie + Love = mom.

I suppose that if any one of us carried the weight of this life for as long as my mom did, we would be willing and eager to be free, to leave this world, to bid farewell to the ephemeral joys and pleasures that may come, and to awaken in an eternity of unwavering, holy promises from our Lord. My mother has no need for a lamp or light, and she, who wept so, has no more tears. All of her burdens have now been lifted. I miss her smile. Her love. Her wisdom. Her sageness and savvy. I am so grateful for my mom.

on my way home

i’m on a road
i think i’m in control
i think i know where i need to go
i think i can see
i think i can find my way back home
i think there’s nothing behind me
so why am i surprised
at the tears in my eyes
trying to be free
while looking for a sign
to ease my mind
as i struggle 
to leave behind
all the troubled times
i carry in my soul
things said and done
they take a toll
make me want to run
but i choose to stay
and follow the Way
i sing of amazing grace
i sing through my tears
of a perfect love
that drives away fear
as the rain plays a melody
reminding me
that i am not in control
but i’m safe in the shadow
of the wings of His love
as i travel
on my way home

as if we really believe

where is heart of the church
the part that heals and feels pain
and seeks to secure
the good of the poor
the stranger
the unnoticed
we pursue innovation
but we need renovation
of the inside of our soul
the content of our heart
so we can be a part
of redeeming all that fell
and all the hell in and around us as well

it is time to rebuild
to be still
to make a decision of the will
to put on the Lord Jesus
clothed in grace
we move into the world
that God so loved that he gave
and embrace the stranger
welcome the foreigner
we face our flaws
surrender our rights
and set our sights
on washing feet
extending a hand
we stand
as ambassadors of the Way
and we stay
we forgive
today we live
not for ourselves
but for those in need
for those who cry
and die alone
for those who cry
without a home

what has gone wrong
that we have become
a resounding gong
we sing all those sunday songs
and harbor hate
hold a grudge
belittle our spouse
to name just a few
and hide in the house
of our pride
we mock and scorn
an opposing view
and then we lock our soul
in the rigid soil
of i must win
and we stew in the cauldron
of our sin

Holy Spirit
enter into the dark hidden sins
for we are clanging cymbals
who serve and sing and teach
we study read and systematically
arrange our grand theology
and solve the mysteries
give knowledge increase
but we are just running
from what is the greatest of these
we are nothing
without love

renovate our mind
restore our heart
we have made such a mess
let us be people of kindness
taking our place
in rhythms of grace
walking talking and loving
as if we really believe
that he has Risen

as if we really believe

merry christmas

Dear WordPress family: wishing you all a joyful Holiday Season filled with light, love, and peace for you and yours.

i wonder

i wonder what she’s praying for
she’s pleading for
she’s kneeling for
i wonder what this child of God
is asking of her Lord

perhaps for peace inside her soul
and in this world
and in this world
perhaps for peace inside your soul
won’t you plead with her now

perhaps for love inside her soul
and in your heart
and in your heart
perhaps for love inside her soul
won’t you plead with her now

i wonder what she’s praying for
she’s pleading for
she’s kneeling for
i wonder what this child of God
is asking of her Lord

perhaps for rest from all her pain
from all her pain
from all her pain
perhaps for rest for you and me
from all the pain we feel

perhaps for pardon from her sins
from her sins
from her sins
perhaps for pardon for your sins
won’t you implore with her now

i wonder what she’s praying for
she’s pleading for
she’s kneeling for
i wonder what this child of God
is asking of her Lord

i wonder if we all could kneel
we all could kneel
we all could kneel
i wonder if we all could kneel
and join her right now
cry out with her now
be humble with her now
be a child of God
right now