Tag: longing

help us down here

when i see all the unrest
the could care less
and carelessness from those
who should be our best
it’s like a colorless sunset
hollow empty shiny but still
somethin’s missin’
life is just dissin’
you and me
got to see these leaders
and who they really be
raisin’ anger
makin’ danger
riled up
fired up
lied to
free to
upset
regress
and not reset
the soul
or console the whole
of our cities
our children
all the cryin’ moms
does anyone hear
the tears
they just busy shoutin’
making fear
screamin’ for what
what
do
you
want
take off your mask
and task yourself with being someone
who is against the grain
relieving pain
runnin’ away from the insane
inane life drain
of sin and self
of placing humanity on the shelf
so your cause won’t die
what’s the use
if we just abuse
and use
and consider others
refuse to throw away
when they refuse to say
what i want them to say
Lord color us
with mercy and grace
make space for us to change
and stop leaning into feelings
and stay here kneeling into releasing
the darkness we think is the light
color our hearts with love light and truth
solid
unchangeable
unquenchable truth fire
that is higher
than our silly ways
have your way
save us from us
and deliver us to
a new that never dies
and that one day
will help us to transcend the skies
and leave this place of sorrow and woe
no more night
no more pain
tears left behind
oh God above
make it so
make it so
we confess our sin
leave judgment to you
invite you to look within
our broken hearts
help us to start
to say no to lies and yes to your truth
oh God
have mercy
have mercy
oh God
color our hearts
like a sunset singing loud
testifying that you are here
you entered our pain
lived died and rose again
HALLELUJAH!
won’t you help us
down here
won’t you help us
down here

prayer for mercy

am i descending
or ascending
is this praying
or just doing my own thing
cradling my heavy head
in my tear stained palms
i think
this time it will be different
my life will change
my heart will finally
be rearranged
only to realize
that even if my knees
were nailed to the earth
i stubbornly refuse to bend my will
instead i choose to stand in shame
is this my heart rising
to our Father who art in heaven
or am i running
stumbling
down into myself
help me be free
let my eyes see
and may my ears
listen to the sheer silence
of your kindness
open this heart
mend my mind
in love
mercy
and forgiveness
i want to rise
so help me
bow down
be still
let go
and
listen to the sheer silence
of your kindness

set free

i don't know about you
but there is so much
i need to say goodbye to
i'll welcome the endings
practice some surrendering
it's hard to study
all the expectations
that are now
a pile of eliminations
i thought this or that
would be the life
i would have
releasing longings
into the fiery ending
of this day
i guess
it will be okay
turns out being free
is not about me
trying to step aside
God
are you tired
of hearing
about my pride
set is ablaze
like the end of this day
i'm tired
of getting my way
love and hope
sin and shadow
peace and stillness
heartache and sorrow
is there a place
deep in the marrow
of my soul
where all
the counterpoint
of being human
is awakened
restored
and rises whole
saying goodbye
to all that tethers
me to this dirt
i'd rather
stiffen my neck
than lift up my eyes
stand on my own
than fall to my knees
search me
and know my heart
let all the parts of me
that you see
with grace
and mercy

be

set

free

this tattered old town

in and around
this tattered old town
nestled in the state
of my mind
taking a stroll
on the pathways
through my soul
standing on the corner
i see memories
of younger days
melodies of different ways
on a street named regret
at the corner of joy
looking for an answer or two
reaching for something true
since i was a boy
acceptance
forgiveness
and gratitude
my heart yearns
for something more
than the sum total
of my days
so i set my gaze
on things above
the unseen real
unfailing love
and i wait
and choose to be still
as the sun
settles down
on this old tattered town
i welcome
the end of this day
knowing it is the only way
to a new dawn
another pathway
hidden in the Light
safe in Him
i rise
i am safe in Him
i’ll rise

something safe

something solid
something sure
at the beginning of the end
and i am feeling insecure
what will it take
for this heart
to settle down
i think
it’s something solid
something sure

something that lasts
something i can count on
i can’t seem to stop surrendering
to the stories i tell myself
no happy endings
why am i spending time
in all the shadows
won’t you tell me please
what will it take
for my mind to be at ease
i think
something that lasts
something i can count on

something quiet
something safe
when it all unravels
when the puzzle pieces
don’t match the picture
on the box
what will it take
for my soul to rest
for my eyes to see
i think it must be
something quiet
something safe
there is an old story
of the Son of Man
that abides
through the centuries
He walked upon
the same ancient soil
that i stumble upon
His words true and sure
pierce my heart
and a small glowing calm
lifts my head

for He was before
and will always be
His love is for all time
and my mind
can’t understand
but i choose to anchor
my thoughts to the peace
of His everlasting wisdom
His never ending love

and into all my searching
in the midst
of all the bingeing and the scrolling
He shouts stillness
into the noise of my life
calming
restoring
reminding
renewing
resurrecting
and singing over me
the pain remains
but i am unharmed
confusion seems to hold sway
but my fear is consoled
by His presence
beside me
above me
beneath me
all around me
there is a storm
but
He
is

i wait

thinking about nothing at all
while everything is running
around in my mind
getting acquainted
with a dull ache
emanating from somewhere
in the middle of the center
of the core of my tacet anxiety
settling down
into an emotional complacency
trying to find some safety
to make sense of it all
Immanuel is sleeping in the boat
while the weight of my heart
makes every step so hard
inches are like miles
enclosed on every side
by confusion and helplessness
what can i offer
what can i say
what can i do
awake my soul
for the sleeping Man of Sorrows
knows this storm
my soul comes to rest
on a cold lonely shore
and i wait
the winds and waves
are His
i wait

the in between

still on the journey
through achromatic beauty
everything is okay
no
really
it is
well
sort of
i can’t make sense of a anything
everything will be okay
at least i hope it will
but there is the now
the inbetween
the stumbling
not quite sure
which way to turn
i recognize
this strange
space of uncertainty
and stillness
and i cry
fast forwarding
isn’t fun
i cry
feels like
a lonely drowning
i cry
a jumbled pile
of grief and loss
wading through
shattered hope
and i cry
God
help me to accept
the immovable
reality of now
and rest
inhale
exhale
rest
i
cry

my Eternal Light

a gentle breeze
kissed the trees
and their leaves
applauded with glee
sunrise beams
painted the fields
the streams
awakening colors
dispelling the shadows
oh Eternal LIght
can you do the same
for me
you see
i’m wrestling now
with shadows deep
sad sad songs
keep echoing
and i weep
for these longings
keep on singing
and i can’t make out
the melody
all seems wrong
where are
the joyful songs
will you
shine on my mind
running all these
scenarios
is a drain
but the pain
remains
will you shine
on my troubled heart
mend all the jagged broken parts
help me to start
anew
i will trust
i will trust
in You
my
Eternal
Light

this thing called life

taking time to just be
on this gentle
quiet morning
by the sea
soothing waves
share their melodies
as soft hues
of morning light
fall upon the endless sand
and fill my eyes
with stilled wonder
i try to look down
into the deep
of my own heart
and feel the sad songs
find the gifts of grace
stay in anger’s embrace
pray for resurrection
to race
through the turmoil
and the pain
lift me higher again
so i can return
to You
and in so doing
return to me
slowly the
luminance of the colors
rise across the sky
as the colors of love
wash over me
eternity is in my heart
thankful for
each crazy part
of this thing
called life

this thing
called life

let it all in let it all go

and i find that i’m choosing to let it all in
i stand in the light while i’m feeling the pain
that keeps falling like rain on my story again
and the clouds crowd my soul so i let it all go
carried on whispered prayers with hands pleading
lifted in unspoken longings eyes searching
for some kind of answer in this darkened light
embracing the rain and the clouds and all the unseen
running into the light as it reaches all that’s been
perhaps a lament or two will see me through
the paradox of this impermanent journey
a time for everything and everything in time
i’ll welcome the longing with singing
celebrate the love with understanding
that all is fading into unending yesterdays
and the clouds crowd my soul so i let it all go
and i’ll walk towards the light
keep my eyes on things above
and choose to love here below
and let it all go through trembling whispers of faith
until i find my way home with some amazing grace