and i find that i’m choosing to let it all in i stand in the light while i’m feeling the pain that keeps falling like rain on my story again and the clouds crowd my soul so i let it all go carried on whispered prayers with hands pleading lifted in unspoken longings eyes searching for some kind of answer in this darkened light embracing the rain and the clouds and all the unseen running into the light as it reaches all that’s been perhaps a lament or two will see me through the paradox of this impermanent journey a time for everything and everything in time i’ll welcome the longing with singing celebrate the love with understanding that all is fading into unending yesterdays and the clouds crowd my soul so i let it all go and i’ll walk towards the light keep my eyes on things above and choose to love here below and let it all go through trembling whispers of faith until i find my way home with some amazing grace
opened your eyes got out of bed but are you awakened exercised a protein drink from the blender but did you remember to feed your soul to workout the stuff in your heart that you took to bed last night
the morning routine out the door traffic and weather report looks grim you steel your mind and shut the door telling yourself that you are fine another sip of coffee but did you remember to feel something that you know is there to understand yourself just a little bit more being and doing doing and being
more you and i know there is more than the deadline more than all this activity did we lose ourselves more likely we numb ourselves away from pain and disorientation keep the radio on get busy and fill the schedule it’s helps to drown out the noise of all that’s in my head maybe i should have stayed in bed
put the keys on the counter there’s nothing in the fridge it was a good day at the office on the worksite on my shift i think i impressed… someone… anyway i suppose it was just another day there’s something still inside… wait…
why am i crying...
i must be tired or a bit confused maybe a drink will clear out my head hulu and netflix aren’t helping tonight how long have i been staring at this parade of options
was i crying tonight
maybe it was the traffic it was a long day i think i’ll go to bed and try again tomorrow to shake this restless sorrow being doing doing being am i living am i awakened
i know it’s been a long sad sad song and it seems like winter will go on and on i’ll stay here with you in the cold in the dark until we see the new
and in this shadow of death i’ll stay by your side and if it seems that spring is all around but it's not in you a colorless world endures i’ll sit with you cry with you listen to all your angry words until the shadows fall and the flowers return
so if for you this day brings sorrow upon sorrow just another monochrome morning let’s find Him together and believe together that on this steep and narrow road there is tomorrow
and when you cry i won’t ask why and if you ask me how long you’ll be in this sad sad song i could tell you but i’d probably be wrong but i promise I’ll stay and in the dirt and in the dark and in the cold and in this timeless pain we will find new life together
like a black sea stretching out before me all this mystery of what is yet to be all that i cannot see
like a black sky slowly descending over me telling shadow stories all i cannot hide a dark gray canopy made up of all my whys
oh Lord and Light guide me on my way help me navigate this story through the night waiting for the day longing for all made right for the unseen real to replace what all the senses feel
like a dark wave swallowing up my soul all the doubt and shame why must it be this way growing old is growing close to a different shore to so much more than the sum of my failures or anything labeled a success it’s all just a mess
oh Lord and Light i’m grateful that you gave me sight for this mess that i call my life for you carried me you saw me you ransomed me so i’ll follow you i’ll turn to you surrender to you and let you tell me who i am for you are love and far above this darkened sky and far below this blackened sea your glory and light your power and might the Lord and Light is with me in me all around me
sometimes i wonder where it all came apart where the promises and love songs withered and sighed the radio station otherwise known as our lives just plays static the noise of our brokenness the crackle of our selfishness
sometimes i wonder where all that love went to hide where the feelings and tryings the caring that was dying before our once hope filled eyes is that love buried beneath the winter of our self-protection will there ever be a springtime of affections sunshine to melt the hardness to take back all the words that tore apart the fragile fabric otherwise known as our lives do shreds of tenderness remain i see tattered threads of holding hands i think i can make out a long lost embrace
sometimes i wonder if all these thoughts colliding in my mind can make sense of anything at all why did i say that why didn’t i tell you why did i hide why didn’t i leave you alone why did i remain silent why did i scream i have so much on repeat in my head longing to find that clue that tiny missed detail to unlock the best of us
i love you i said it but you saw through all i insisted was true and i couldn't carry the weight of what it meant to be we us together our true selves as one in the story otherwise known as our lives
your grandchild’s giggle a warm smile from a stranger an embrace from the one you love you just want some things to last
a walk beside the sea the scent of falling leaves a comforting glance for your sorrow you just want some things not to go too fast
a melody that makes you cry someone saying i forgive you sweet vienna fingers with some coffee you just want some things to not slip into the past
a frigid cold morning sky whose design and colors takes your breath away couldn't think of a better way to start and end a day than losing myself in the beauty swimming in the artistry trying to take the whole sky in my arms you just want some things to stay you want some things to never go away coffee vienna fingers embracing the whole sky i just want some things to stay maybe never have to say goodbye
so what’s up cloudy winter day what have you got to say you remind me of me today a little chill a little gray the blues are above you somewhere high in the sky like the blues down inside me where i’m tired and i don’t want to try to pretend anymore that it’s sunny act like it’s all okay cloudy morning i hear what you’re trying to say
wait weep stay don’t keep it together just be feel don’t try to weather the weather rest pray chill gray stay connected to your Creator on this cloudy winter day
as the winter fire sky gently carries the day away i allow my eyes to drink in the beauty and let the colors fill my mind
a glorious letting go a blazing surrendering to time are there moments in those colors memories in the winter fire sky
take a photo maybe this digital likeness will connect me to the weightless wonder and reflection deeper connection to the Artist’s dazzling affection for creation and all His children
winter fire sky thank you for your singular contribution to ease the longing it’s not a solution or absolution just a nudge a reminder that helps me remember that there is more than all our senses tell us the unseen real the shadows of glory an endless story is whispered in my heart as i say goodby to this winter fire sky
maybe it’s because the way things are i’m longing for what used to be maybe it’s because what used to be is why the way things are
maybe it’s because i’m remembering a world that was gentle and true maybe it’s because what’s gentle and true was forsaken and broken back then too
maybe it’s because we’re lost wandering souls that it seems faith is gone hope and love sailed away maybe it’s because we’ve wandered so far the light seems so dim we don’t know who we are
maybe we can turn and swim upstream awaken and see the Way maybe we can hear the Truth with our ears and Life can return to our poor restless souls let’s surrender right now all we think we know and find His rest and peace for only if we lose our lives in His love and light only then can we rise
pray with me that we will see the world we carry inside mended and healed by the Way the Truth the Life
so this new day has come whose will will be done in my heart and mind today
these colors dance and play they call and say there is more to you more to me than this world often will let us see
so many lies so many tries to measure up to just keep up you get tired worn cast down and torn God help me see
i bear Your image strong and true it is ruined stained and needs to be renewed like this new day i will rise and sing with the colors bring a song of praise i will raise my voice and say
thank you for who You are to me thank you for all that makes me me
the dark the light the rest the fight i will listen to these colors sing life up my eyes and enter into Your peace Your grace Your will Your way
my heart and mind are yours today not my way not my will but Yours be done always and in all ways
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