we sing of a silent night and of a Wonderful Counselor born on a bleak mid-winter of starry skies and angel choirs while rushing here and late again there parties and gatherings there’s so much left on our lists
we want Christmas in our culture but is Christ in our hearts buy now pay later real time tracking replaces real time reflecting pondering the Prince of Peace Immanuel God with us
we wail and cry for the suffering in this world while we pass by the violence we commit against ourselves we stream and binge have another drink or two or we click buy now pushing the pain away hoping this shallow happiness will stay even though we know it’s just a matter of time before that dark cold low presses on our chest so we keep doing maybe later later we will rest
the hope of the world this baby boy born into the icy darkness of our souls is He welcome in the home of your heart
the light of the world born into the chaos that is our pain do we surrender to His invitation filled with grace and truth
for He entered into our suffering He walked this place of sorrows the Creator holds the universe in the palm of his tiny hands
O Jesus little baby boy hold me help me have mercy on me
sometimes it doesn't feel like anything is rising in me held inside this gravity on my knees i just can’t see how why or when
life can be an in between a canyon of waiting in the unseen is there another side to this pain another way to restore loss laughter or song
O Light of the world color my soul shine into these old tears bring your radiance into my fears and all this uncertainty would you carry it for me i believe you know the why i trust you will show me how i let this sunrise fill the eyes of my heart and i cry for a morning with no more tears no more pain until then i wait and sing a sad song to say thank you i know you are here
i’m trying to let go sometimes surrendering doesn’t fit all the shoulds i’m chasing
you see i have this life equation that should equal the sum total of all my expectations of how it all should unfold and then i see it unravel everywhere and nowhere i want to be
i’m trying to let go after all we will all one day let go of everything so why do i try to hang on to so much
like my pride why didn’t you take my side i can only see the me side of you
like still holding onto my right and i’m right and you’re not i can’t see how dark and confusing i make it for you
like when i hold onto my disengaged attitude pushing you away silencing your voice you’re not real you don’t really know what you feel so let me tell you
like when i hold onto my fear i don’t think you’ll stay here if you see the real in me
God help me to let go and to know that even when i fall that i am descending into freedom decreasing into the fullness of who you made me to be
the Light chases us even through a dense darkness a disorienting mist that surrounds our efforts to run towards anything that helps us to feel loved to feel free
the Light waits for us as we meander and stumble through grief and sorrow like a thick forest of tears you cut your way through angry branches and leaves of sadness but the forest closes in and muffles your weeping
the Light sees us even when we can’t breath and anxiety transforms the world into a tiny box from which we cannot escape and what we want more than anything is to be able to stretch out our hand so someone can take hold and guide us home
above beneath behind in front of every cry the Light
above beneath behind in front of all your sorrow the Light
above beneath behind in front of all your fear the Light
above beneath behind in front of you the Light a hand extended to guide you home a warm embrace to welcome you home
october you’re just teasing but thank you for those summer like breezes i like your style i love what I see it’s just a little while and then what’s to come will be
you blaze and shine with colors sublime it’s a bittersweet show but I don’t mind this vivid prelude to the winter snow
but until the chill descends on hoodies and we have to wear pajamas with footies i’ll sing with you let you color my world
you always fall with such grace and suddenly our crazy world is a beautiful place
oh don’t mind me i’m just waiting for the end of the day anticipating not that i want to rush to say goodbye but i must
so here it is a day gone by forgive me for the the unfinished things and all that i did too loud words unspoken all that i said i just want to rest for a moment inside this sunset just for a moment in beauty wonder and dazzling sorrow
so don’t mind me i’m just hanging on the push and pull i don’t want to miss the painter’s sky yet a part of me just wants to cry for the gifts i hold and all i lost
so here it is a day gone by funny how the history of a single day can end so beautifully oh to fly like the birds soar and celebrate no i’ll just quietly let the colors paint my soul and say good… …bye
and there were threads in the garden and there were stars in the leaves and there jewels on the flowers and there were diamonds in the webs
and there were threads in my mind tethered to sorrow beauty lament wonder love
and there were stars in my heart sparkling memories regrets dreams loss hope
and there were jewels in my soul brilliantly reflecting the promises of my heavenly Papa the redemption of the Lamb the deliverance from the shadows of my brokenness
and there were diamonds all around family friends love companionship a smile an encouraging word gratitude melodies light beauty song
i wonder where summer is going and why the hostas’ trumpets wither in the song of the morning gold the moisture saturated early september air will soon surrender to hoodie worthy chilly days
and hosta trumpets will disappear and silenced shrills that once inhabited golden shells gently rest bearing witness to the symphonies that played endlessly on measureless summer days
but now summer’s bags are packed the trees wait and will soon honor summer’s passage tossing golden and crimson leaves in a reluctant celebration to the closing of summer nights and songs and to welcome the crystal air of winter’s refining lament
take a breath and close your eyes i’m praying that you’ll realize that it’s enough to just be you it will take time but i know you will shine so ease your mind and take my hand i will help you stand and stay with you i will listen to every word you say i promise it will be okay sometimes everything is gray so that we can grow into what we were made to be and i know you will shine it will take time but you will realize that it’s enough to just be you
rutakintome pictures 
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