Tag: trust

finding the story of me

a little older
but none the wiser
at least it feels that way
saying goodbye to this day
i see the light slip away
like the fading memories 
that fill my mind
so many
would have
could have
should have moments
that i can’t reach
but they reach me
they teach me
to walk
with heaven in view
it’s okay to be
somewhat new
tired of all the blame
at the end of the shame game
open my eyes to see
the new
you’ve place
in me
so i can rise
above the gravity
and rest
in stillness
the silence
of deliverance
the calming
resonance
of your presence
eternity in me
there is Truth
that doesn’t fade away
a Light
that glows bright
through the day
and through the night

healing
mending
making all things right
like they were meant to be
weightless melodies
singing endless songs
free to sing along
redeemed from all that's wrong
you see i’m finding life
is letting go
of all the why
and it’s okay
to cry
to mourn
to feel
every lament
so i can fly
towards the light
not just a leap of faith
it’s accepting grace
and shining bright
swimming in
eternal light
finding the story
of me
in the Way
the Truth
the Life

shimmers and shines

i would like to shine
bright as a sunny day
and shimmer
like a jacob collier song
but i often find 
that old pride inside
and i stumble and lose my way
and it can go so wrong
when the shame gets strong
and i reach for a new identity
no matter how i try
i’m never free
when i think i don’t need
to be me

so i run back home
to the lover of my soul
it’s an uphill path
the lies inside
just laugh
so i bring to my mind
and heart
the One who has kept me
from the start

oh sing of the treasure
of His love
for me
for you
it shimmers
and shines

His mercy
shimmers
and shines
the Light of the world
lives inside
and He
always
shimmers
and shines

the star maker knows

where is the solace
when life only brings darkness
an achromatic sunrise
unable to chase shadows
a sunset that never leaves

where is the gentle breeze
when life storms around and within
can’t breathe the rain soaked air
while i try to put on a smile
the pulse rate of my soul diminished

where are the hands
cradling a countenance
when the lonely tears
are seeking an embrace
standing in the middle of the universe
i guess the view is nice
but no one is there
to share the stars

i’ve heard it said
there is a place
where melodies and harmonies
take flight
like lullabies that never say goodnight
music you can taste
and hold in hand
or pull towards your heart
music that covers you
with a blanket of love and grace
the softest peace
a delicate abyss of joy

so i run to this place
in the darkness and the storm
i lift up my eyes
when it feels i can’t breathe
i fall into faith
when the tears want to stay
i tell my story
and let the music fill in the gaps
the star maker knows
each page of sorrow
each gaze of wonder
the calming comfort of trust
if i’m in the
pain of the valley
or the delight of the clouds
the star maker
knows
my
name
he knows my now
and my yesterdays
my what is to come

i breathe in timeless hope
i fall into
a vast fissure of love and rest

another valley is near
but
He
is
nearer

a 4272023 morning

it's a 4272023 morning
the kind of morning
that will never be here again
the fire leaves are awakening
big blue skies are smiling
the proud trees are welcoming
a 4272023 morning

the silent digital sentinel
on our wrist
counts the seconds
that will make up the moments
of this gift we call a day
the unrepeatable you
this world of image bearers
in all our collective  journeys
we share
the sorrow
the waiting
the singing
the building
the crying
the disorientation
the confusion
the celebration
the shame
the brokenness
the wonder
the exhaustion
the despair
the longing
for meaning
the searching for love
it's who we are
glorious and ruinous

on this 4272023 morning
let’s remember together
our Creator is here
for you and me
for all the world
the Light has overcome the darkness
so we can open our hearts
and become fire leaves
illuminated
dazzling
sparkling
welcoming the Light
the everlasting Love
awakened by eternal songs
of redemption

so this 4272023 morning
will soon be gone
what will we leave behind
words of comfort
love and laughter
shared tears
forgiving eyes
grateful for
a 4272023 morning
and grateful
for you

latte la dee da day

it’s time start
another latte
la dee da day
man the traffic
is insane today
well
like every other day
routine kicks in
meetings
where no one
really meets
a zoom here
a zoom there
a formica connection
can look so nice
a cladding smile
hope they don’t see
my empty eyes
what does it say
when the best part
of this day
is traffic
on the way
home to my
netflix series
or was it hulu
what’s a lonely soul
to do
there’s a war somewhere
everybody’s yelling
but no one’s really saying
anything
that sounds like truth
or has some roots
that sink deep in my heart
so i lift up my eyes
and through the tears
i cry why
why did i say it that way
why did they make fun of me
why does the sadness stay
why God
do you sometimes
feel so far away
you see i’m in the boat
the horizon is gone
and the storms
rage within
and all around
so wake up Lord
wake up
i don’t know
what to do
but i know
you
are
here
in my messy today
in my messy yesterday
oh won’t you
wake up
my soul
because
i see the Tree
You there for me
i’ll linger here
and sing a song
to You
the melody
may be sad
but for now
it’s all i have
so it’s Yours
and
i
am
too

blue skies

blue skies
dancing with the sea
on the far horizon
i can see
the wild waves
searching for the shore
searching with me
for so much more
than i can see

blue skies
there is no outer space
through the universe
we race
let’s just pause
let’s just wait
listen
close
our
eyes
beneath these
blue blue skies

i dream
i dance
i lift my soul
to You
this longing
for peace
and relief
from all the toil inside
identity relies
and lies outside
with You
i surrender my ID
to You
beneath
these blue blue skies
i’m safe
with You

no easter monday morning blues for me

no easter monday morning blues for me
i hit the snooze times three
don’t want a jelly belly day
the church is empty and the band went home
the dawn has come to say hello
the plastic eggs are put away
but no easter monday morning blues for me

no easter monday morning blues for me
the kids are late the bus on time
how can a child make so much whine
has there really been a change in me
i need to hunt for peace and be free
from the weight of all the noise inside
He rose
i rise
He rose
i rise
yes
no easter monday morning blues for me

no easter monday morning blues for me
i’m different now and yet the same
shame shadows call and taunt with glee
i’m doing more but i just need to be
remembering love’s refrain
that it is finished
yes, it is finished
and though i fall in that same place
i’ll remind myself of His great grace
and take that little step of faith
no easter monday morning blues for me

He rose
i rise
He rose
i rise
each moment through this crazy day
He’s resurrection lights the way
so i can trust and say
no easter monday morning blues for me

rise

is there a sunrise
in all that is setting in me
will all the shadows
in this blackhole
that is me
finally flee

o rise
great Light of mine
please rise
i’m overwhelmed inside
so rise
great Light of mine
please rise
i don’t know
where to go
so
great Light of mine
rise

i keep leaving
the same place
i’ve been here before
i surrender again
remember again
the story of me
is yours

o rise
great Light of mine
please rise
won’t you
hear my cries
and rise
please still
my wandering heart
start something new inside
great Light of mine
rise

there’s a
never ending dawn
i long to see
i’ll cast aside
these anchors
finally free
i’ll be
just the me
you always dreamed
for me
and
just

rest

so rise
great Light of mine
please rise
i’ve got another
step to take
i can’t bear
all the weight
but i choose
to wait
for you
great Light
of mine
please
rise

still as the tree

all the color will soon fall
and the barren trees will sing
cold and wind snow and ice
will paint the boughs with chilled beauty
as leaves are tossed
and lost are the
dried and cracked memories
of hues and tones
that proudly shouted
i am here

let's welcome winter
when it enters our souls
sometimes what we think is gold
needs to fade
be swept away
in the wind of the Spirit
may we bend and break
let proud color and hues
fall in surrender

self must fade
and give way to the dark
long
nights
He will hold us tight
through the cold
and the questions
and the monochrome feelings

we must stand
still as the tree
and wait for life
to start again
in His time
His way
His truth
His life
will spring
for we wait
and in the waiting
He is present
we wait
He is comfort
He is love
we wait
in
His
love

it’s a journey after all

i'm so glad
the Light found me
just as i am
i began to be free
identity restored
i'm not trying to earn anymore
i'm so glad
the Light found me

and now a love
has touched my soul
all of my past
all that’s yet to unfold
slowly being restored
i was blind
but now i see
oh, i’m so glad
the light found me

i still stumble
and fall
it’s a journey
after all
so be patient with me
i’ve got miles to go
i’m not what i will be
it’s a struggle you see
but this Light found me
so i trust and i wait
it’s the mess i call faith
but i’m so glad
the Light found me