a frosty cold dawn a gray featureless sky feels just like me today there’s a frozen mist sprinkled on the ground it’s a monochrome morning a colorless song that sounds like me today so i guess i’ll take the Christmas tree down
Christmas carols echo in my living room the grandkids laughing wrapping paper tearing meals we were just sharing are now memories and there’s something sad in me at the end of 2023 so i guess i’ll take the Christmas tree down
a quiet end of the season a gentle closing of the year and for no particular reason a tear appears and it’s okay the past three sixty-five well… let’s just say it can be hard to be alive there have been days of good cheer sorrow and struggle too said a final good-bye to mom and then there are the fractures in the family feeling all the anxiety and those whispers of failure just rise amidst an endless ostinato of whys so i guess i’ll take the Christmas tree down
a plastic stained glass window with a little boy in prayer amber crystal beads a shiny red ball from Macy’s a tiny wooden christmas tree a three story ceramic house a quiet Christmas mouse glimmering shimmering sparkling dazzling all are put to rest almost done there’s just one the last ornament
it’s a smiling angel holding a star with colored gems for wings so there i stand with this angel in my hand i can almost hear it sing a song of grace a melody of peace a smiling angel in my hand helps me know i’m in His hand so i hum a tune i can’t remember which one but i remember the fractures and failures are held in His hand too all our fractures all our failures so grateful He holds them grateful He knows them thanks for listening i’m done taking the Christmas tree down
as the winter fire sky gently carries the day away i allow my eyes to drink in the beauty and let the colors fill my mind
a glorious letting go a blazing surrendering to time are there moments in those colors memories in the winter fire sky
take a photo maybe this digital likeness will connect me to the weightless wonder and reflection deeper connection to the Artist’s dazzling affection for creation and all His children
winter fire sky thank you for your singular contribution to ease the longing it’s not a solution or absolution just a nudge a reminder that helps me remember that there is more than all our senses tell us the unseen real the shadows of glory an endless story is whispered in my heart as i say goodby to this winter fire sky
let me talk about the rain rain rain inside my heart and all those words i thought would build just tore us all part
let me talk about the rain rain rain inside my mind and all the shame and fighting ways and all this wasted time
let me talk about the rain rain rain inside your pain and all your tears all my broken tries we can’t go back again
let me talk about the rain rain rain i threw it all away don’t go the skies inside our lives will clear one day please stay and share this rain
between us darkness now there must be a way through all this muddy ground a story must be here let’s look around and find one who knows maybe it will keep us sheltered from all this rain rain rain
so this new day has come whose will will be done in my heart and mind today
these colors dance and play they call and say there is more to you more to me than this world often will let us see
so many lies so many tries to measure up to just keep up you get tired worn cast down and torn God help me see
i bear Your image strong and true it is ruined stained and needs to be renewed like this new day i will rise and sing with the colors bring a song of praise i will raise my voice and say
thank you for who You are to me thank you for all that makes me me
the dark the light the rest the fight i will listen to these colors sing life up my eyes and enter into Your peace Your grace Your will Your way
my heart and mind are yours today not my way not my will but Yours be done always and in all ways
what will happen
if i let go
stop pretending
i have this
under control
what would happen
if i released
and ceased
from all this
striving
and trying
to make it
all go away
what if
i choose to stay
in the waiting
in the long
and unknown space
called faith
if i fall
will i just
be absorbed
into the fear
and sadness below
or will
He catch me
enfold me
come alongside
and
hold me
still
it feels so safe
right here
i’ve got something
i can do
clinging to
my stubborn pride
not falling
seems
like a good use of time
but He wants
to continue
to write
this story
called
my life
so
i
let
go
and
then………
hope bears the longing
of returning to the home
we’ve never seen
for deep within our hearts
eternity cries
and we see without eyes
our true identity
in Light
in Peace
in endless days
love beyond imagining
like a seed set in our soul
eternity calls us to let go
of little things
where the darkness grows
and desires too small
to carry the weight
of all our sorrow
rise and cause us to fall
we really must die
to the wrong inside
things we see
and all we hide
and live in the unseen
for this world
is not our home
the seed inside
cannot thrive
in the midst of pride
surrendering
we cry
and pray
heal us
break us
shape us
and
lead
us
home
waiting
keeping watch
searching
scanning horizons
i didn’t realize
that i was looking
for you all my life
waiting
for our
once upon a time
to begin
when i saw you
i ran to meet
you on the shore
of our journey
after all these years
i now know
i would choose to wait
and let a thousands tides
come and go
and let the lonely time
pass me by
if it meant
i could be near you
hear you say my name
yes i would
search for you
night and day
and
wait
this voyage called life
a perilous quest
under storms at night
and bright mornings of peace
living out vows
that we said
when we were kids
you’re still choosing to stay
beside me
i’m still choosing to stay
beside you
across all the wild wild seas
that are behind us
we found treasures
a guiding grace
that will lead us
a slower pace
that will ground us
a grateful space
that settles our minds
navigating
these later years
we get to wait
together
love
together
sitting here
with you
waiting here with you
remembering here
with you
we wait
for one day
the journey will end
until then
we get to wait
together
love
together
be
together
and in the waiting
practice staying
come what may
you’re still choosing to stay
beside me
i’m still choosing to stay
beside you
we
wait
new day
shines
and sings
colors bring
a smile
or two
we journey on
some journey through
this beauty
brings to mind
there is
so much more
to find
than
momentary
distractions
they
leave me
fractured
i want
i need
i thirst
but all this greed
whatever
it is
i choose to feed
seems to
get
a hold
of me
i want to let go
i want to be free
in His truth
i will be
the true me
and shine
and fly
with colors bright
and soar
and seek
and risk
this self
and choose
to love
to sing
to breathe
and start
remembering
i
was
meant
to fly
i was meant
to see
and
one day
be
in
eternity
i don’t think
i would mind
getting lost beneath
a gold and yellow sky
watch the crimson
snow leaves
gently settle
at my feet
smell the pine soaked
breeze
be as still
as the trees
as they surrender
their beauty
and let go of their
color laden leaves
i lift up my eyes
i wonder if my
prayers can soar up high
to reach your ears
oh God
are you near
we’re really lost
have you given
thought
to our broken
hearts
we really
could use
a new start
i surrender
the beauty
i think i possess
let winter
come
and clean my soul
no more pretense
i’ll wait with the trees
in silence
and cold
welcome this season
of dying
less trying
of seeing
and being
i’m lifting my hands
God please
bring us your aid
don’t want to be afraid
as i walk
this painted path
there is beauty
when we fall
upon your Light
and stop
and wait
and listen
in faith
and stop
and wait
and listen
in faith
rutakintome pictures 
You must be logged in to post a comment.