all the goodbyes

a fleeting embrace
ending
with one last glance
one last wave
as you step
through security
with no one to help you
with your insecurity
ushered into
a waiting room
after transferring a kiss
from you hand
to her forehead
overwhelming outcomes
swirl in your mind
a quiet prayer
folded hands
shoulders
crushed beneath
sorrow and pain
rest
gently rest
i’ll see you
again
a collection
of expectations
neatly organized
as you donate them
to the upside down reality
that is also your lament

younger days
when smiles
were abundant
surrender to
deep steel eyes
aged by the weight
of all that you must release
all that you thought
was the melody of your journey
memories
that just fade
and others
that won’t go away
songs that remain
falling into the echoes
of time and reminiscence
of sad joy
and mournful gratitude
sunsets loudly
dazzle your soul
swallowed by night
colors overtaken
by unstoppable darkness
still
i welcome
every hello
every greeting
every start
every beginning
every hope
every hug
every grace
every possibility
every giggle
every sunset
every sunrise
while holding
all the goodbyes
and i’m glad
so
immeasurably
glad

i
am
with
you

unfurled alive and free

there is a desperate
feigned beauty
to a closed heart
not present to pain
like a tragic lullaby
an inconsolable melody
celebrating safety
striving to look like peace
reluctant to feel
locked up in dark silence
encased in emptiness

choose to feel
to stay connected
to what’s real
stay in the pain
even in the rain
gifts are to be found
don’t turn around
lament all that is broken
laugh as if it’s all okay
cry because
you know it’s not
take a step of faith
none of us is free
from danger
find a friend
who will walk
beside you
and let you feel

let you be
unfurled
alive
and free

wind farm

Just a trio of wind farm images. Forgot about some images from a motorcycle ride last weekend. What’s on your SD card? Thanks for stopping by.

let it all in let it all go

and i find that i’m choosing to let it all in
i stand in the light while i’m feeling the pain
that keeps falling like rain on my story again
and the clouds crowd my soul so i let it all go
carried on whispered prayers with hands pleading
lifted in unspoken longings eyes searching
for some kind of answer in this darkened light
embracing the rain and the clouds and all the unseen
running into the light as it reaches all that’s been
perhaps a lament or two will see me through
the paradox of this impermanent journey
a time for everything and everything in time
i’ll welcome the longing with singing
celebrate the love with understanding
that all is fading into unending yesterdays
and the clouds crowd my soul so i let it all go
and i’ll walk towards the light
keep my eyes on things above
and choose to love here below
and let it all go through trembling whispers of faith
until i find my way home with some amazing grace

find some slow

remembering
letting go
surrendering
finding slow
winter’s cold
a memory
blooming color
here comes summer
seasons
in my heart
some things
i can start
again
and some
well
they just are
moments
in the sun
will soon
run away
colors will fall
winter will howl
lonely branches
will soon help me see
so i explore
the seasons
in my life
some things
must die
some things
bring so many whys
but with each
blossom
all this beauty
wrapped up tightly
waiting to spring
i surrender
let go
and find
some slow
and
sing

do you see

i haven’t thought this
all the way through
but i thought
i’d share it with you
i’ll start with a question or two
do you see
beauty around you
do you see
beauty within

colors and clouds
shout out loud
the sky canvas
telling us
connecting us
to deeper
fairer things
do you see
do you see

the beauty within
you are an image bearer
you are the only you
but let’s set pride aside
perfection does not reside
inside
His favor abides
you are
His child
His creation

do you see
beauty around you
beauty within
we are all
a glorious ruin
we are lost
but we can see
blind
but we can be found
do you see
do you see

and rise

new life
still all this strife
new opportunity
same entropy
new start
still in bed
new attitude
still no gratitude
new insights
still trying to fight
new word
still not listening
new day
same old ways
new light
still seeking shadows
new colors
same monochromatic soul
new gifts
same folded arms
for you
on this day
right now
new grace
boundless love
endless mercy
a Cross to bear
with an everlasting Companion
unmerited forgiveness
an endless sunrise
can be yours
receive
be centered
through surrender
be free
through confession
be at rest
through acceptance
come home
it is finished
lay down your shame
take up your hope
lift up your head
receive your identity
and rise

sunset at the wind farm

I still haven’t figure out why I find these wind farms so fascinating, but, that’s okay… it’s enough just to share the end of the day with some wind turbines. Thanks for stopping by.

are we free

opened your eyes
got out of bed
but are you awakened
exercised
a protein drink
from the blender
but did you remember
to feed your soul
to workout
the stuff in your heart
that you took to bed last night

the morning routine
out the door
traffic and weather report
looks grim
you steel your mind
and shut the door
telling yourself
that you are fine
another sip of coffee
but did you remember
to feel something
that you know is there
to understand yourself
just a little bit more
being and doing
doing and being
more
you and i know
there is more
than the deadline
more than all this activity
did we lose ourselves
more likely
we numb ourselves
away from pain
and disorientation
keep the radio on
get busy and fill the schedule
it’s helps to drown out the noise
of all that’s in my head
maybe i should have stayed in bed

put the keys on the counter
there’s nothing in the fridge
it was a good day at the office
on the worksite
on my shift
i think i impressed… someone…
anyway
i suppose it was
just another day
there’s something still inside…
wait…

why am i crying...
i must be tired
or a bit confused
maybe a drink
will clear out my head
hulu and netflix
aren’t helping tonight
how long have i been staring
at this parade of options

was i crying tonight

maybe it was the traffic
it was a long day
i think i’ll go to bed
and try again tomorrow
to shake this restless sorrow
being doing
doing being
am i living
am i awakened
am i free

are we free

when last wednesday said goodbye

I must have received a tex, phone call, or otherwise got distracted and never finished this post. So, here it is. Thanks for stopping by.