i wonder where summer is going and why the hostas’ trumpets wither in the song of the morning gold the moisture saturated early september air will soon surrender to hoodie worthy chilly days
and hosta trumpets will disappear and silenced shrills that once inhabited golden shells gently rest bearing witness to the symphonies that played endlessly on measureless summer days
but now summer’s bags are packed the trees wait and will soon honor summer’s passage tossing golden and crimson leaves in a reluctant celebration to the closing of summer nights and songs and to welcome the crystal air of winter’s refining lament
For as long as I have kept this blog I have been taking photographs on the street that sits just behind the subdivision where we live, in our little town of Minooka, Illinois. I have captured countless images of sunsets, sunrises, clouds, winter scenes, and on and on. My usual routine is to go to the gym, then, if the sky and clouds are interesting, and if Daylight Savings Time allows, I’ll take a walk and enjoy the ever-changing, always beautiful landscape that makes up our little corner of the world. Over the years, if I may say, I have captured some memorable moments. This morning was memorable.
On my way home I noticed the mist creeping over the soybeans from south to north as the sun was about to peek over the horizon. I got home, grabbed the camera, and started walking.
I love early morning quiet. I love taking pictures while most of the town is asleep, or just getting up for school and work. The perpetual whoosh of Interstate 80, punctured by the occasional deep, repetitive blat of a diesel truck using it’s engine to slow down is always in the air. But this morning, even I-80 is unusually quiet. Maybe the truckers were enjoying the mist, and golden, morning light. Thanks for stopping by.
there is a desperate feigned beauty to a closed heart not present to pain like a tragic lullaby an inconsolable melody celebrating safety striving to look like peace reluctant to feel locked up in dark silence encased in emptiness
choose to feel to stay connected to what’s real stay in the pain even in the rain gifts are to be found don’t turn around lament all that is broken laugh as if it’s all okay cry because you know it’s not take a step of faith none of us is free from danger find a friend who will walk beside you and let you feel
remembering letting go surrendering finding slow winter’s cold a memory blooming color here comes summer seasons in my heart some things i can start again and some well they just are
moments in the sun will soon run away colors will fall winter will howl lonely branches will soon help me see
so i explore the seasons in my life some things must die some things bring so many whys
but with each blossom all this beauty wrapped up tightly waiting to spring i surrender let go and find some slow and sing
new life still all this strife new opportunity same entropy new start still in bed new attitude still no gratitude new insights still trying to fight new word still not listening new day same old ways new light still seeking shadows new colors same monochromatic soul new gifts same folded arms
for you
on this day
right now
new grace
boundless love
endless mercy
a Cross to bear
with an everlasting Companion
unmerited forgiveness
an endless sunrise
can be yours
receive
be centered
through surrender
be free
through confession
be at rest
through acceptance
come home
it is finished lay down your shame take up your hope lift up your head receive your identity and rise
i know it’s been a long sad sad song and it seems like winter will go on and on i’ll stay here with you in the cold in the dark until we see the new
and in this shadow of death i’ll stay by your side and if it seems that spring is all around but it's not in you a colorless world endures i’ll sit with you cry with you listen to all your angry words until the shadows fall and the flowers return
so if for you this day brings sorrow upon sorrow just another monochrome morning let’s find Him together and believe together that on this steep and narrow road there is tomorrow
and when you cry i won’t ask why and if you ask me how long you’ll be in this sad sad song i could tell you but i’d probably be wrong but i promise I’ll stay and in the dirt and in the dark and in the cold and in this timeless pain we will find new life together
opened my eyes some time at the gym took a look inside silence and stillness with Him and the eastern sky beckoned with colors and i don’t know why at times i want to hide and don’t want to discover i’d rather not uncover the true that’s in me
i need to confess these silhouettes that i present as real why do i fight why can it be so hard to walk towards the Light and be healed and stand in His grace i know shame goes away don't have to hide my face in the welcome of His mercy
shine oh please shine in me i do what’s old in me and don’t do from what i claim is new so please shine and let this new day remind my heart my soul my mind that you are with me you are beneath me before and behind me you are all around me i’ll take another step toward the light not by sight by faith i’ll wait because you are with me
so what’s up cloudy winter day what have you got to say you remind me of me today a little chill a little gray the blues are above you somewhere high in the sky like the blues down inside me where i’m tired and i don’t want to try to pretend anymore that it’s sunny act like it’s all okay cloudy morning i hear what you’re trying to say
wait weep stay don’t keep it together just be feel don’t try to weather the weather rest pray chill gray stay connected to your Creator on this cloudy winter day
a frosty cold dawn a gray featureless sky feels just like me today there’s a frozen mist sprinkled on the ground it’s a monochrome morning a colorless song that sounds like me today so i guess i’ll take the Christmas tree down
Christmas carols echo in my living room the grandkids laughing wrapping paper tearing meals we were just sharing are now memories and there’s something sad in me at the end of 2023 so i guess i’ll take the Christmas tree down
a quiet end of the season a gentle closing of the year and for no particular reason a tear appears and it’s okay the past three sixty-five well… let’s just say it can be hard to be alive there have been days of good cheer sorrow and struggle too said a final good-bye to mom and then there are the fractures in the family feeling all the anxiety and those whispers of failure just rise amidst an endless ostinato of whys so i guess i’ll take the Christmas tree down
a plastic stained glass window with a little boy in prayer amber crystal beads a shiny red ball from Macy’s a tiny wooden christmas tree a three story ceramic house a quiet Christmas mouse glimmering shimmering sparkling dazzling all are put to rest almost done there’s just one the last ornament
it’s a smiling angel holding a star with colored gems for wings so there i stand with this angel in my hand i can almost hear it sing a song of grace a melody of peace a smiling angel in my hand helps me know i’m in His hand so i hum a tune i can’t remember which one but i remember the fractures and failures are held in His hand too all our fractures all our failures so grateful He holds them grateful He knows them thanks for listening i’m done taking the Christmas tree down
rutakintome pictures 
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