help me to let go

i’m trying
to let go
sometimes surrendering
doesn’t fit
all the shoulds i’m chasing

you see
i have this life equation
that should equal
the sum total
of all my expectations
of how it all should unfold
and then i see it unravel
everywhere and nowhere
i want to be

i’m trying
to let go
after all
we will all one day
let go of everything
so why do i try
to hang on to so much

like my pride
why didn’t you take
my side
i can only see
the me side
of you

like still holding onto
my right
and i’m right
and you’re not
i can’t see
how dark
and confusing
i make it for you

like when i hold onto
my disengaged attitude
pushing you away
silencing your voice
you’re not real
you don’t really know
what you feel
so let me
tell you

like when i hold onto
my fear
i don’t think
you’ll stay here
if you see the real
in me

God
help me
to let go
and to know
that even when i fall
that i am descending
into freedom
decreasing into the fullness
of who you made me to be

God
please help me
to
let
go

the Light

the Light chases us
even through
a dense darkness
a disorienting mist
that surrounds our efforts
to run towards anything
that helps us
to feel
loved
to feel
free

the Light waits for us
as we meander and stumble
through grief and sorrow
like a thick forest of tears
you cut your way through
angry branches
and leaves of sadness
but the forest
closes in
and muffles your weeping

the Light sees us
even when we can’t breath
and anxiety transforms the world
into a tiny box
from which
we cannot escape
and what we want
more than anything
is to be able
to stretch out our hand
so someone
can take hold
and guide us home

above
beneath
behind
in front of every cry
the Light

above
beneath
behind
in front of all your sorrow
the Light

above
beneath
behind
in front of all your fear
the Light

above
beneath
behind
in front of you
the Light
a hand extended
to guide you home
a warm embrace
to welcome you home

matthiessen state park

A collection of Fall beauty from Matthiessen State Park. This park features canyons, hiking trails, streams, and waterfalls. It is a jewel in the midst of the plains of the Midwest. Thanks for stopping by!

prelude to the winter snow

october you’re just teasing
but thank you
for those summer like breezes
i like your style
i love what I see
it’s just a little while
and then what’s to come
will be
you blaze and shine
with colors sublime
it’s a bittersweet show
but I don’t mind
this vivid prelude
to the winter snow
but until the chill
descends on hoodies
and we have to wear
pajamas with footies
i’ll sing with you
let you color my world
you always
fall with such grace
and suddenly
our crazy world
is a beautiful place

deep ellum, tx

We were in in Dallas, Texas last week for a conference and took the opportunity to explore Deep Ellum! What a fantastic destination in Dallas! Great food, great coffee, and super cool urban art. Enjoy!

a day gone by

oh don’t mind me
i’m just waiting
for the end of the day
anticipating
not that i want to rush
to say goodbye
but i must
so here it is
a day gone by
forgive me
for the the unfinished things
and all that i did too
loud words unspoken
all that i said
i just want to rest
for a moment
inside this sunset
just for a moment
in beauty
wonder
and dazzling sorrow
so
don’t mind me
i’m just hanging on
the push and pull
i don’t want to miss
the painter’s sky
yet a part of me
just wants to cry
for the gifts i hold
and all i lost
so here it is
a day gone by
funny how the history
of a single day
can end so beautifully
oh to fly like the birds
soar and celebrate
no i’ll just quietly
let the colors paint
my soul
and
say
good…
…bye

jewels in my soul

and there were threads in the garden
and there were stars in the leaves
and there jewels on the flowers
and there were diamonds in the webs
and there were threads in my mind
tethered to sorrow
beauty
lament
wonder
love
and there were stars in my heart
sparkling memories
regrets
dreams
loss
hope
and there were jewels in my soul
brilliantly reflecting
the promises
of my heavenly Papa
the redemption
of the Lamb
the deliverance
from the shadows
of my brokenness
and there were diamonds
all around
family
friends
love
companionship
a smile
an encouraging word
gratitude
melodies
light
beauty
song

the best sunset…

If you have hung around this blog for about, oh let’s say 3 minutes, you will know that I post many – as in “mucho many” – images of sunsets and sunrises. I am consistent, if not boring.

So, this past week, my wife and I have been enjoying a vacation on the Gulf Coast of Florida. As you imagine, the week here has afforded many opportunities to capture spectacular sunsets. And I did take too many photographs.

Before I share those, I thought I would share a post about the last sunset we saw together. I spent so much time taking pictures during the week, that on our last night at the beach I decided to be present to my bride, and present to the setting sun. I am so glad I did. 

Sunset was around 7:25 PM. We sat down around 7:15 PM…ish. From this point, this is what I remember:

We placed our seal level chairs right at the edge of the gentle Gulf waves as they splashed over the white, baby powder sand and washed over our feet. I think “sea level chairs” is the correct technical term. They are very low to the ground. I know this because of the forklift that was used to help me get out of my sea level chair.

We angled our chairs – maybe the correct term is, “I dare you to get up chair” – just right so we would have a perfect view of the water and the sun as it made its descent towards the horizon.

There was a gentle breeze. This was unusual because each day this week was based on a weather template that included very hot and humid conditions, bright, blazing sunshine, and air molecules that were not permitted to move.

When we sat, there was a golden path stretching from our feet right to the edge of the horizon, just below the sun, reminiscent of Dorothy’s Yellow Brick Road, only with more waves and seagulls.

At times, it appeared as if the sun was shooting out this… tractor beam that would soon draw us in its light to meet the great star on the horizon. Then, a bird would catch my eye, and when I looked again, it appeared like the path was being created by… us! Like these impossibly close to the white, baby powder sand chairs were emitting a path of their own for us to follow. Whether it was the sun, or our powerful chairs, the beauty was hypnotic to experience.

This was because the gold highway cut straight through indigo blue water… no, wait… it was a blue-ish color with tints of green hues and dark small ripple shadows created by the breeze. I can’t say that I have ever seen water that color before. The water was not reflecting the color of the sky. The Gulf was creating its own magic with wavelengths of light.

The soundtrack to all of this was the beautiful ostinato of the swoosh and bubble-gurgling of the small waves, accompanied by the erratic, staccato calls of the particular kind of seagulls at this beach. I know as much about seagulls as I know about sea level chairs, so I can’t tell you the name of the musical ensembles and their performances. I imagined it would be what Stravinsky would write if he wrote a composition entitled: “The Rite of Sunset on Siesta Key.”

As the sun descended closer into the water, the people enjoying a stroll on the beach would stop. Some would look. Others would take out their phones. I did not judge them.

We kissed as the last, tiny, marble sized ember disappeared into the end of the day. Somewhere it was dawn.

summer’s passage

i wonder where summer is going
and why the hostas’ trumpets
wither in the song of the morning gold
the moisture saturated early september air
will soon surrender to hoodie worthy chilly days
and hosta trumpets will disappear
and silenced shrills that once inhabited
golden shells gently rest
bearing witness to the symphonies
that played endlessly on measureless summer days
but now summer’s bags are packed
the trees wait and will soon honor summer’s passage
tossing golden and crimson leaves
in a reluctant celebration
to the closing of summer nights and songs
and to welcome the crystal air of winter’s refining lament

it’s enough to just be you

take a breath and close your eyes
i’m praying that you’ll realize
that it’s enough to just be you
it will take time
but i know you will shine
so ease your mind and take my hand
i will help you stand and stay with you
i will listen to every word you say
i promise it will be okay
sometimes everything is gray
so that we can grow
into what we were made to be
and i know you will shine
it will take time
but you will realize
that it’s enough
to just
be you