goodbye friday ransom illinois style

I don’t have any specific stats, but it feels like the cloudiest winter ever to march across this part of the Midwest. This past week the sun was able to out maneuver Mr. Gray Skies and make an appearance.

oh Lord and Light

like a black sea
stretching out before me
all this mystery
of what is yet to be
all that i cannot see

like a black sky
slowly descending over me
telling shadow stories
all i cannot hide
a dark gray canopy
made up of all my whys

oh Lord and Light
guide me on my way
help me navigate
this story through the night
waiting for the day
longing for all made right
for the unseen real
to replace
what all the senses feel

like a dark wave
swallowing up my soul
all the doubt and shame
why must it
be this way
growing old
is growing close
to a different shore
to so much more
than the sum of my failures
or anything labeled
a success
it’s all just a mess

oh Lord and Light
i’m grateful
that you gave me sight
for this mess
that i call my life
for you carried me
you saw me
you ransomed me
so i’ll follow you
i’ll turn to you
surrender to you
and let you tell me who i am
for you are love
and far above this darkened sky
and far below this blackened sea
your glory and light
your power and might
the Lord and Light
is with me
in me
all around me

the Lord and Light
is with me
in me
all around me

you want some things to stay

your grandchild’s giggle
a warm smile from a stranger
an embrace from the one you love
you just want some things to last
a walk beside the sea
the scent of falling leaves
a comforting glance for your sorrow
you just want some things
not to go too fast
a melody that makes you cry
someone saying i forgive you
sweet vienna fingers with some coffee
you just want some things
to not slip into the past
a frigid cold morning sky
whose design and colors
takes your breath away
couldn't think of a better way
to start and end a day
than losing myself in the beauty
swimming in the artistry
trying to take the whole sky in my arms
you just want some things to stay
you want some things
to never go away
coffee
vienna fingers
embracing the whole sky
i just want some things
to
stay
maybe never have to say
goodbye

rain rain rain

let me talk about the
rain rain rain
inside my heart
and all those words
i thought would build
just tore us all part
let me talk about the
rain rain rain
inside my mind
and all the shame
and fighting ways
and all this wasted time
let me talk about the
rain rain rain
inside your pain
and all your tears
all my broken tries
we can’t go back again
let me talk about the
rain rain rain
i threw it all away
don’t go
the skies
inside our lives
will clear one day
please stay
and share this rain
between us
darkness now
there must be a way
through all this
muddy ground
a story must be here
let’s look around
and find one
who knows
maybe it will
keep us sheltered
from all this
rain
rain
rain

i will raise my voice

so this new day has come
whose will
will be done
in my heart and mind
today

these colors dance and play
they call and say
there is more to you
more to me
than this world often
will let us see
so many lies
so many tries
to measure up
to just keep up
you get tired
worn
cast down
and torn
God help me see

i bear Your image
strong and true
it is ruined
stained
and needs to be
renewed
like this new day
i will rise and sing
with the colors bring
a song of praise
i will raise
my voice
and say
thank you
for who You are
to me
thank you
for all that
makes me
me

the dark
the light
the rest
the fight
i will listen to
these colors sing
life up my eyes
and enter into
Your peace
Your grace
Your will
Your way
my heart
and mind
are yours today
not my way
not my will
but
Yours
be done
always
and in
all ways

a sleepy dawn

a sleepy dawn
awakens above
a gentle rippled river
colors dance
with clouds
azure meets crimson
i hush my soul
and listen
listen to
the voices
and the noises
trying to discern
which way to turn
to join this dance of light
and fight
the gravity
in me
so much to do
so i just choose
to be
put the camera down
enter the beauty
of all i don’t see
access doors are open
heart and mind
in loving union
in the losing
life is found
in the losing
life is found

and shine and fly

new day
shines
and sings
colors bring
a smile
or two
we journey on
some journey through
this beauty
brings to mind
there is
so much more
to find
than
momentary
distractions
they
leave me
fractured
i want
i need
i thirst
but all this greed
whatever
it is
i choose to feed
seems to
get
a hold
of me
i want to let go
i want to be free
in His truth
i will be
the true me
and shine
and fly
with colors bright
and soar
and seek
and risk
this self
and choose
to love
to sing
to breathe
and start
remembering
i
was
meant
to fly
i was meant
to see
and
one day
be
in
eternity

endless sunrise

introspection
time
space
grieving
open
illumination
notice
grace
tears
observing
belief
eternity
aware
light
love
reflection
insight
gravity
healing
time

its
going
to
be
all
right

in
His
light
and
love
all
wrongs
made
right
mercy
justice
alight
the
soul
as
we
sing
songs
through
an
endless
sunrise

breakthrough

we people are a funny mix
don’t you think
or
at least i am

anyway

sometimes
the sun is shining
smiles and laughs
no room for whining
like i want to photograph
every moment
capture
the rapturous mood
i’m in

and
at
the
same
time

no
really
at the same time

rain pours down
all around this town
of memories that sprouts
like massive trees
in a forest of lies
and shame
and why’s
and pain
and ties to the past
that seem to last
like a long sad song

so
i
pray

break through
in rays of hope and light
dear Lord
help me regain my sight
and “though the wrong
seems often so strong”
You will make all things right
‘cause You’re writing a story
full of downpours and clouds
writing a story
of songs sung out loud
of Your love and Your glory
of the way that you carry
this tale called my life
in Your everlasting arms
i am choosing to rest
to stop and embrace
the things i don't see
to silently wait
to just.... be
and see you
breakthrough
all the rainy
and cloudy in me
breakthrough
and one day
make
all
things
new

settle

i want to settle
like the setting sun
all the crazy
as i run
through the tears
and disorientation
from the madness
of meditation
on the losses
and the misses
the noises of confusion
settle like the setting sun
into color
and calm
the balm of a song
that reminds me
that though there is wrong
in me and in you
that redemption is true
that beauty resides
in the heart
of life in Christ
for He suffered
He cried
He was angry
and He died
He lamented
and prayed
take this cup away
so sadness
and heartache
anxiety
is a thing
we can bring
to His Cross
to His care
to His suffering
settle
oh my soul
settle
in the stillness
of the Light
of His love
the color
of His grace
the glory
of His kindness
the promise
of a better place
where tears
will never fall again
light will never set
and never end
settle
oh my soul
settle
feel it all
and settle
your Savior knows
He sees
He feels
so don’t push
the mess of life away
let it remind you
a better day
awaits
walk by faith
not by sight
it’s going to be
all right
settle
oh
my
soul