help me to let go

i’m trying
to let go
sometimes surrendering
doesn’t fit
all the shoulds i’m chasing

you see
i have this life equation
that should equal
the sum total
of all my expectations
of how it all should unfold
and then i see it unravel
everywhere and nowhere
i want to be

i’m trying
to let go
after all
we will all one day
let go of everything
so why do i try
to hang on to so much

like my pride
why didn’t you take
my side
i can only see
the me side
of you

like still holding onto
my right
and i’m right
and you’re not
i can’t see
how dark
and confusing
i make it for you

like when i hold onto
my disengaged attitude
pushing you away
silencing your voice
you’re not real
you don’t really know
what you feel
so let me
tell you

like when i hold onto
my fear
i don’t think
you’ll stay here
if you see the real
in me

God
help me
to let go
and to know
that even when i fall
that i am descending
into freedom
decreasing into the fullness
of who you made me to be

God
please help me
to
let
go

the Light

the Light chases us
even through
a dense darkness
a disorienting mist
that surrounds our efforts
to run towards anything
that helps us
to feel
loved
to feel
free

the Light waits for us
as we meander and stumble
through grief and sorrow
like a thick forest of tears
you cut your way through
angry branches
and leaves of sadness
but the forest
closes in
and muffles your weeping

the Light sees us
even when we can’t breath
and anxiety transforms the world
into a tiny box
from which
we cannot escape
and what we want
more than anything
is to be able
to stretch out our hand
so someone
can take hold
and guide us home

above
beneath
behind
in front of every cry
the Light

above
beneath
behind
in front of all your sorrow
the Light

above
beneath
behind
in front of all your fear
the Light

above
beneath
behind
in front of you
the Light
a hand extended
to guide you home
a warm embrace
to welcome you home

prelude to the winter snow

october you’re just teasing
but thank you
for those summer like breezes
i like your style
i love what I see
it’s just a little while
and then what’s to come
will be
you blaze and shine
with colors sublime
it’s a bittersweet show
but I don’t mind
this vivid prelude
to the winter snow
but until the chill
descends on hoodies
and we have to wear
pajamas with footies
i’ll sing with you
let you color my world
you always
fall with such grace
and suddenly
our crazy world
is a beautiful place

a day gone by

oh don’t mind me
i’m just waiting
for the end of the day
anticipating
not that i want to rush
to say goodbye
but i must
so here it is
a day gone by
forgive me
for the the unfinished things
and all that i did too
loud words unspoken
all that i said
i just want to rest
for a moment
inside this sunset
just for a moment
in beauty
wonder
and dazzling sorrow
so
don’t mind me
i’m just hanging on
the push and pull
i don’t want to miss
the painter’s sky
yet a part of me
just wants to cry
for the gifts i hold
and all i lost
so here it is
a day gone by
funny how the history
of a single day
can end so beautifully
oh to fly like the birds
soar and celebrate
no i’ll just quietly
let the colors paint
my soul
and
say
good…
…bye

jewels in my soul

and there were threads in the garden
and there were stars in the leaves
and there jewels on the flowers
and there were diamonds in the webs
and there were threads in my mind
tethered to sorrow
beauty
lament
wonder
love
and there were stars in my heart
sparkling memories
regrets
dreams
loss
hope
and there were jewels in my soul
brilliantly reflecting
the promises
of my heavenly Papa
the redemption
of the Lamb
the deliverance
from the shadows
of my brokenness
and there were diamonds
all around
family
friends
love
companionship
a smile
an encouraging word
gratitude
melodies
light
beauty
song

summer’s passage

i wonder where summer is going
and why the hostas’ trumpets
wither in the song of the morning gold
the moisture saturated early september air
will soon surrender to hoodie worthy chilly days
and hosta trumpets will disappear
and silenced shrills that once inhabited
golden shells gently rest
bearing witness to the symphonies
that played endlessly on measureless summer days
but now summer’s bags are packed
the trees wait and will soon honor summer’s passage
tossing golden and crimson leaves
in a reluctant celebration
to the closing of summer nights and songs
and to welcome the crystal air of winter’s refining lament

misty minooka

For as long as I have kept this blog I have been taking photographs on the street that sits just behind the subdivision where we live, in our little town of Minooka, Illinois. I have captured countless images of sunsets, sunrises, clouds, winter scenes, and on and on. My usual routine is to go to the gym, then, if the sky and clouds are interesting, and if Daylight Savings Time allows, I’ll take a walk and enjoy the ever-changing, always beautiful landscape that makes up our little corner of the world. Over the years, if I may say, I have captured some memorable moments. This morning was memorable.

On my way home I noticed the mist creeping over the soybeans from south to north as the sun was about to peek over the horizon. I got home, grabbed the camera, and started walking.

I love early morning quiet. I love taking pictures while most of the town is asleep, or just getting up for school and work. The perpetual whoosh of Interstate 80, punctured by the occasional deep, repetitive blat of a diesel truck using it’s engine to slow down is always in the air. But this morning, even I-80 is unusually quiet. Maybe the truckers were enjoying the mist, and golden, morning light. Thanks for stopping by.

life is still a bit hectic…

Still rummaging through the hard drive during this busy season and trying to find time to post. Not to be outdone by my previous post, this sunrise comes to you courtesy of our “rival” town, 10 miles due west of our humble home. Thanks for stopping by. What’s on your hard drive?

life is a bit hectic…

…so I have fallen behind in posting some images that have been hanging out on my hard drive. These two are from a sunrise in my home town. I have taken many images from this spot. It’s just a short walk from our home. Does anyone else see what I see in that sky? Thanks for stopping by!

the in between

still on the journey
through achromatic beauty
everything is okay
no
really
it is
well
sort of
i can’t make sense of a anything
everything will be okay
at least i hope it will
but there is the now
the inbetween
the stumbling
not quite sure
which way to turn
i recognize
this strange
space of uncertainty
and stillness
and i cry
fast forwarding
isn’t fun
i cry
feels like
a lonely drowning
i cry
a jumbled pile
of grief and loss
wading through
shattered hope
and i cry
God
help me to accept
the immovable
reality of now
and rest
inhale
exhale
rest
i
cry