tension

the tension between
my past and my present

the tension between
making earthbound choices
and setting my heart on things above

the tension between
reputation protection
and other-centered living

the tension between
my anger and grace

the tension between
forgiveness and revenge

the tension between
my faith
and loss
and pain
and my restless soul

the tension between
being an image bearer
and my shame

the tension between
my title and my actions

the tension between
crossing the bridge
and playing it safe

the tension between
myself
and myself

the tension between
the darkness and the light
inside this heart of mine
i fall
i soar
take flight
only to stumble
and cry for healing
and why is it feeling
like nothing makes sense
at least sometimes
nothing makes sense
for there is a time
for everything
under this radiant sun
time to take a step of faith
He is not done
i’m not at home
so
sometimes
it doesn’t make
sense

oh Lord and Light

like a black sea
stretching out before me
all this mystery
of what is yet to be
all that i cannot see

like a black sky
slowly descending over me
telling shadow stories
all i cannot hide
a dark gray canopy
made up of all my whys

oh Lord and Light
guide me on my way
help me navigate
this story through the night
waiting for the day
longing for all made right
for the unseen real
to replace
what all the senses feel

like a dark wave
swallowing up my soul
all the doubt and shame
why must it
be this way
growing old
is growing close
to a different shore
to so much more
than the sum of my failures
or anything labeled
a success
it’s all just a mess

oh Lord and Light
i’m grateful
that you gave me sight
for this mess
that i call my life
for you carried me
you saw me
you ransomed me
so i’ll follow you
i’ll turn to you
surrender to you
and let you tell me who i am
for you are love
and far above this darkened sky
and far below this blackened sea
your glory and light
your power and might
the Lord and Light
is with me
in me
all around me

the Lord and Light
is with me
in me
all around me

His Light is near

this Christmas
may your soul shine
as you take time
to reflect on God above
and love your family
and see your story
is from His hand
of love

for you are here
and His Light is near
so lay those burdens down
this tiny Child
is here for you
so put away the frowns
and rest in His light
rest in His peace
rest in His joy
may you be free
and not anxious
for you are precious
for you are here
and His Light is near
for you are loved
from above
He came
to be
with
you

lead us home

hope bears the longing
of returning to the home
we’ve never seen
for deep within our hearts
eternity cries
and we see without eyes
our true identity
in Light
in Peace
in endless days
love beyond imagining
like a seed set in our soul
eternity calls us to let go
of little things
where the darkness grows
and desires too small
to carry the weight
of all our sorrow
rise and cause us to fall
we really must die
to the wrong inside
things we see
and all we hide
and live in the unseen
for this world
is not our home
the seed inside
cannot thrive
in the midst of pride
surrendering
we cry
and pray
heal us
break us
shape us
and
lead
us
home

hush your soul

remember life
is a delicate
fragile beauty
trying to rest
in the turmoil
of this world

life
a momentary story
carrying eternity inside
longing for home
love
and time
in so many ways
we are the same
carrying our shame
we fight to be seen
never winning
always shouting
leaving delicate souls
broken
sometimes shattered
all around us

evil is all about
because it is within
our tortuous souls

so we take
we tear down
we abuse
we hollow out
our neighbor's heart
we insist on being right
when we need to
tenderly explore
the souls
that God has given us
souls reflecting glory
from above
He gave them to us
to love
as He loves

hush your soul
quiet your mind
still your heart
give yourself time
to yield to your
Creator
eternity set
inside of you
treasure one another
don’t you think
it’s time
to treasure
one
another

endless sunrise

introspection
time
space
grieving
open
illumination
notice
grace
tears
observing
belief
eternity
aware
light
love
reflection
insight
gravity
healing
time

its
going
to
be
all
right

in
His
light
and
love
all
wrongs
made
right
mercy
justice
alight
the
soul
as
we
sing
songs
through
an
endless
sunrise

settle

i want to settle
like the setting sun
all the crazy
as i run
through the tears
and disorientation
from the madness
of meditation
on the losses
and the misses
the noises of confusion
settle like the setting sun
into color
and calm
the balm of a song
that reminds me
that though there is wrong
in me and in you
that redemption is true
that beauty resides
in the heart
of life in Christ
for He suffered
He cried
He was angry
and He died
He lamented
and prayed
take this cup away
so sadness
and heartache
anxiety
is a thing
we can bring
to His Cross
to His care
to His suffering
settle
oh my soul
settle
in the stillness
of the Light
of His love
the color
of His grace
the glory
of His kindness
the promise
of a better place
where tears
will never fall again
light will never set
and never end
settle
oh my soul
settle
feel it all
and settle
your Savior knows
He sees
He feels
so don’t push
the mess of life away
let it remind you
a better day
awaits
walk by faith
not by sight
it’s going to be
all right
settle
oh
my
soul

i’ll choose being

a misty morning
a cup of joe
a reader's digest prayer
i gotta go
still doing
...something
still going
...somewhere
all this thinking
has got me
...swirling
...sinking
...unfurled
before unexamined winds

wait
i tell myself
to take it slow
to ponder
to wonder
do i know
who i am
am i present
in this moment
i'll choose being
let the doing go
and remember
to stay in
in the midst
of a misty
morning
and just
listen
to the music
of the stillness
i'll sing along
a wordless song
entering this
eternal moment
letting go
of shadows
as the light
rises in my soul
who knows
where this moment
will lead
if i listen
and trust
if i surrender
all that i think
i must do
and live in the light
and stay
right here
then maybe
i'll be
free
from the shadows
of doing
and going
i want to meet
my true self
and
just be
me

stay

would like to see a few things stay
the untroubled giggles of a child
a sunset that kaleidoscopes for hours
an embrace that fills my heart with peace
a haunting melody that sinks into my soul
and reminds me that there is love
would like to see a few things stay
the knowing when our eyes connect
the crashing waves and their rhythmic balm
the birdsong soaring through the sad sky
colors leaping from a flower
spilling on my heavy brow
reminding me that there is life
would like to see a few things stay
a tree that shades me from all harm
a crystal river of understanding
shadows stretching through deep green woods
the Light that helps me see the Way
a hand to hold that guides through the pain
reminding me that someone’s there
to share a lonely road
oh stay with me
lover of my soul
let me see
the calm before
i lose myself
nowhere to go
the words of life
spoken long ago
an anchor for
an old old soul
reminding me
that You are here
in the mess
in my tears
reminding me
that
You
are
rest

life light and love

so in my heart
it’s raining
the stars don’t mind
the sun stays behind
the sad sad showers
just pitter patter
and i just stare
aware of the polyrhythmic percussion
perfectly synchronized
with the confusion
and the emotional concussion
there’s no melody
for this deep blue song
it just reminds me
of all that has gone wrong
we’re still feeling
the falling
living with the distance
the canyon of longing
and sighing
and crying
and dying
looking for morning
for light
for life
and love
for the endless morning
of light
and love