it’s a journey after all

i'm so glad
the Light found me
just as i am
i began to be free
identity restored
i'm not trying to earn anymore
i'm so glad
the Light found me

and now a love
has touched my soul
all of my past
all that’s yet to unfold
slowly being restored
i was blind
but now i see
oh, i’m so glad
the light found me

i still stumble
and fall
it’s a journey
after all
so be patient with me
i’ve got miles to go
i’m not what i will be
it’s a struggle you see
but this Light found me
so i trust and i wait
it’s the mess i call faith
but i’m so glad
the Light found me

dear mommy dear daddy

dear mommy
dear daddy
i’m sorry
you’re sad
i want you
to know that
i am
with Peace
i am
at peace

dear mommy
dear daddy
this wasn’t
your fault
i want you
to know that
i am free
of pain

dear mommy
dear daddy
when grieving
gives space
the light
that you gave me
let it shine
in this world
so many
are living
but they’re
not alive
lonely
forgotten
and screaming
inside
it would
make me
so happy
to know
you
are
listening

dear mommy
dear daddy
give others
what you
gave me
love
light
life

dear mommy
dear daddy
if i could just say
this longing
this knowing
it’s not supposed
to be this way
we all know it
we all see it
do you know
what it means
that we all
know this place
that we never
have seen
where all is made right
no darkness only light
where mommies
and daddies
at the end of the day
hug their children
and play
and love
is over all
in all
between all
so let us all pray
Your Kingdom come
Your will be done
on earth
as it is
in heaven

- written with lament, sorrow, love and prayers for those who lost everything and for the community of Uvalde

so hello clouds

so can we talk about clouds today
it seems they took the sun away
and i’m in my overcast life
there’s something different about this light

so can we talk about clouds today
my head tells me that it’s okay
the Light is here and not far away
but it just doesn’t feel that way

cause in those cloudy skies
i think i see some dreams that cry
and dense dark memories
why did i say those things
or why didn’t i say
anything at all
i wish those clouds would fall
in rain and storms of healing
let it rain
let it rain

so can we talk about clouds today
i suppose if they never came
i might lose the love of Light
and forget that those clouds
do give me sight

i see you and me
and the story
that only can be told
if there are clouds
so dreary is not the end
you’ll see
i choose to sing
to sing out loud

so
hello
clouds

forever i am yours

there is a river of love
coming down for us
flowing down for us
my Lord

there is a river of hope
reaching out for us
speaking into us
my Lord

i don’t know what to make
of this world anymore
i’m tired of crying
want to see a different shore
i don’t know what to make
of these anxious thoughts
i don’t think i can take
all this pain we’ve wrought
my Lord
here’s my life
here’s my heart

there is a river of peace
oh He’s here for me
oh He’s here for you
my Lord

there is a river of life
washing over us
healing all of us
my Lord

i don’t know what to make
of this world anymore
i’m tired of crying
want to see a different shore
i don’t know what to make
of this sadness inside
just want to be awake
on the other side
my Lord
here’s my life
here’s my heart

there is a river of light
shining in the dark
singing in my heart
my Lord

there is a river of time
forever i am yours
forever i am yours
my Lord

forever i am yours
my Lord

all around me

the last goodbye is coming soon
at least sooner than i every knew
trusting that the Light behind me
will be above me
beneath me
before me
all around me

still walking on this road with you
still leaving shadows behind
don’t want to be swallowed up
by all the wrong
the things i said
the things i’ve done
in Your love
those shadows flee
they are gone
in the Light of Your love

this life is long
and yet we know
the yesterdays are longer still
a line called life
stretches behind me
so i'm making a new yesterday
today

looking before me along the way
faith and hope and love will stay
so let me walk along this road
to the Light
in the Light
this burden is light
with You
behind me
above me
beneath me
before me
inside me
all around
me

all we see

it’s not going to be okay
at least not in the way
we want it to be
okay won’t do today
longing for so much more

it’s not going to be okay
at least not in the way
we want it to be
the sorrow stays
my heart is sure
there is a place
where tears will end
okay then when
will that day be

it’s not going to be okay
at least not in the way
we want it to be
there’s a promise
for you and for me
surrender will be
all on our knees
finally
light will be
all we see

light will be
all we see

just be

o eternal
Light of the world
i need Your peace
it's so stormy
in my soul
and there's trouble
in the world
let me find peace
in You

o eternal
Light of the world
come fill my mind
with gentle whispers
from your Word
all the truth
i think i know
i surrender
i need to see
and i want to rest
just rest
in You

o eternal
Light of the world
thank You
for the
quiet morning river song
thank You
for dancing colors
and of course
thank You
for a little tugboat
help me to
swim upstream today
in Your love
in Your peace
i'm still trying to do
when all You desire
is for me
to be
just
be
in
You

see

how can we still be
missing so much beauty
our brother
our sister
all the treasures
of the world
right beside you
right beside me

how can we still be
hurting each other
oh can't you see
the glorious ruin
for that is who we are
who we all are
and we cry
for love
just to be loved

oh God
open our eyes
to your presence
image bearers
all around us
and let us
treasure
the treasures we see
and let
this love
start in me

how can we still be
silent
speak
let your words
embrace the sorrow
let your words
heal the pain

speak
be present
embrace
the treasures

oh God
help
me
see

in a little corner of my home

a cup of coffee
in a little corner of my home
lights and shadows
remind me of what lies within me
darkness and light
love and hate
goodness and self-centeredness

the memories descend

life and love
family and friends
grace and peace
laughter and song
so many gifts
undeserved and plentiful

soon the wraith
of dim stories arrives
failures
loss
shame
and the quiet ache
of all things left undone
and of all that i have done
to others and to myself

i choose to surrender
to all the images
that so quickly float
through my mind
as i lift my gaze
in a little corner of my home

three crosses
Calvary
such an ugly place
of death
of pain
of sorrow
of suffering

and it is there
in the midst
of the darkness and light
of my life
it is only there
where the lies i tell
and the lies i believe
are exposed

where my shame is undone
in love and acceptance
where i trade my burden
for hope
mercy
love
and the lightness
of forgiveness

and i realize
He is here
with me
in a little corner
of my home

listen

listen
listen
can you hear this mother cry
her daughter is gone
such a sad sad song
she cries
it’s just all wrong

listen
listen
can you hear this daddy cry
he lost his boy
such a sad gray song
he cries
it’s just all wrong

oh great Light
have mercy now
have mercy now
mommy cries
have mercy now
have mercy now
daddy doesn’t know what to do
oh great Light
break through
oh great Light
break through

listen
listen
can you hear
the silence of the children cry
laughter gone
such a sad sad song
the silence cries

listen
listen
can you hear the heartbeat sound
you have life
so lay it down
yes lay it down
all around all around
the world is crying now

oh great Light
have mercy now
have mercy now
mommy cries
have mercy now
have mercy now
daddy doesn’t know what to do
oh great Light
break through

oh great Light
break through