rest in you

sometimes i feel
like i don’t belong
i’m not a part
of the song
that everyone
seems to know
and i wonder
if i’ll ever know
how to sing again

you see i’m not quite sure
what’s deep inside
i’m not quite sure
that i’m all right
i’m not quite sure
if i
matter
did i ever
matter

hey world
i wonder
if it’s okay with you
to quietly say
i’m not okay
i’m sad
and
don’t
know
why
i’m mad
and even when i try
to find some rest
all i find
is just a mess
i’m just a mess

so i still will pray
peace be still
God please
invade my heart
and my will
and let me see
what you see
in me
and rest
i am a mess
but i’ll rest
in You

i’ll rest
in You

dear mommy dear daddy

dear mommy
dear daddy
i’m sorry
you’re sad
i want you
to know that
i am
with Peace
i am
at peace

dear mommy
dear daddy
this wasn’t
your fault
i want you
to know that
i am free
of pain

dear mommy
dear daddy
when grieving
gives space
the light
that you gave me
let it shine
in this world
so many
are living
but they’re
not alive
lonely
forgotten
and screaming
inside
it would
make me
so happy
to know
you
are
listening

dear mommy
dear daddy
give others
what you
gave me
love
light
life

dear mommy
dear daddy
if i could just say
this longing
this knowing
it’s not supposed
to be this way
we all know it
we all see it
do you know
what it means
that we all
know this place
that we never
have seen
where all is made right
no darkness only light
where mommies
and daddies
at the end of the day
hug their children
and play
and love
is over all
in all
between all
so let us all pray
Your Kingdom come
Your will be done
on earth
as it is
in heaven

- written with lament, sorrow, love and prayers for those who lost everything and for the community of Uvalde

let peace fall

i saw and heard the dawn
sing color songs
that danced in my mind
though my eyes saw the beauty
solace i could not find

i wondered what song
was sung by the sky
to other sets of eyes
that wept for peace
shut tight in disbelief

in a land covered
with grievous dawns
unbearable loss
hovers over the streets
like so many tear drops
ever falling
that never drain
the ocean of sorrow
and pain

i pray for new dawns
singing color songs
children dancing
sing along
for joy and light
to fill each soul
and peace
to fall
in stillness
let peace fall
in stillness

oh God have mercy

it’s so hard to see
a gray sadness
has descended
can anything be mended
oh God mave mercy

senseless invasion
the devastation
of so many souls
destruction is all they know
and the children are crying
and the children are weeping
oh God have mercy

it’s so hard to see
a gray numbness
hides the light
can it ever be made right
oh God have mercy

homes are burning
dreams are dying
are we learning
anything at all
one heart of hate
is all it takes
to steal the joy
from men and boys

it’s so hard to see
a gray weight
seems to crush my heart
to see these lives
torn apart
oh God have mercy

mothers and daughters
witness the slaughter
heads bow heavy
in hands of anguish
and the children are crying
and the children are weeping
history is here again
oh God
please God
have mercy

listen

listen
listen
can you hear this mother cry
her daughter is gone
such a sad sad song
she cries
it’s just all wrong

listen
listen
can you hear this daddy cry
he lost his boy
such a sad gray song
he cries
it’s just all wrong

oh great Light
have mercy now
have mercy now
mommy cries
have mercy now
have mercy now
daddy doesn’t know what to do
oh great Light
break through
oh great Light
break through

listen
listen
can you hear
the silence of the children cry
laughter gone
such a sad sad song
the silence cries

listen
listen
can you hear the heartbeat sound
you have life
so lay it down
yes lay it down
all around all around
the world is crying now

oh great Light
have mercy now
have mercy now
mommy cries
have mercy now
have mercy now
daddy doesn’t know what to do
oh great Light
break through

oh great Light
break through

see these shells

see shells

See the shells? I never thought that I would hate seeing sea shells. I love the shore…I love the ocean, but these shells…these shells I would rather not see. Do you see these shells? These jagged, dirty, sad, colorless shells serve as the sidewalk…the road beneath the bare feet of those beautiful children who run across these shells, which occasionally are submerged in sewage…see the shells?…these shells supporting a young boy whose silent stare and precious smile invade my heart…shattering my bent to complain about the smallest inconveniences in my comfortable smart phone filled life…see these shells? I will never again see shells without remembering to pray for the precious men, women and children of Cite Soleil in Haiti. I am eager to return to this city, these children…I don’t want to see these shells, but I will return for all those unseen children….those unseen families….