opened your eyes got out of bed but are you awakened exercised a protein drink from the blender but did you remember to feed your soul to workout the stuff in your heart that you took to bed last night
the morning routine out the door traffic and weather report looks grim you steel your mind and shut the door telling yourself that you are fine another sip of coffee but did you remember to feel something that you know is there to understand yourself just a little bit more being and doing doing and being
more you and i know there is more than the deadline more than all this activity did we lose ourselves more likely we numb ourselves away from pain and disorientation keep the radio on get busy and fill the schedule it’s helps to drown out the noise of all that’s in my head maybe i should have stayed in bed
put the keys on the counter there’s nothing in the fridge it was a good day at the office on the worksite on my shift i think i impressed… someone… anyway i suppose it was just another day there’s something still inside… wait…
why am i crying...
i must be tired or a bit confused maybe a drink will clear out my head hulu and netflix aren’t helping tonight how long have i been staring at this parade of options
was i crying tonight
maybe it was the traffic it was a long day i think i’ll go to bed and try again tomorrow to shake this restless sorrow being doing doing being am i living am i awakened
opened my eyes some time at the gym took a look inside silence and stillness with Him and the eastern sky beckoned with colors and i don’t know why at times i want to hide and don’t want to discover i’d rather not uncover the true that’s in me
i need to confess these silhouettes that i present as real why do i fight why can it be so hard to walk towards the Light and be healed and stand in His grace i know shame goes away don't have to hide my face in the welcome of His mercy
shine oh please shine in me i do what’s old in me and don’t do from what i claim is new so please shine and let this new day remind my heart my soul my mind that you are with me you are beneath me before and behind me you are all around me i’ll take another step toward the light not by sight by faith i’ll wait because you are with me
do you see the beauty all around you a dazzling sunrise colors and clouds singing out loud abandoned joy dancing across the sky
are you stilled in wonder at the edge of forever as melodious crashing waves meet the coarse sand beneath your feet when the morning sky touches your soul and you do and don’t know why tears appear and for a moment it’s all okay
and when you say goodbye to another day are you at rest is there peace in your mind as the sun meets the sea are you free are you free to feel all your sorrows make space for your pain see the hope of tomorrow when colors and clouds will see unending days that chase all the shadows of your heart away and all the loose ends of your crazy life story will end in the glory of lux aeterna
so be still love well just take another step away from the shame eternity covers your soul breathe into your worth abandon the lies confess your wrongs step into every sad song and just be willing to make space for the Way the Truth the Life lux aeterna will come for you so be still and love well
I don’t have any specific stats, but it feels like the cloudiest winter ever to march across this part of the Midwest. This past week the sun was able to out maneuver Mr. Gray Skies and make an appearance.
like a black sea stretching out before me all this mystery of what is yet to be all that i cannot see
like a black sky slowly descending over me telling shadow stories all i cannot hide a dark gray canopy made up of all my whys
oh Lord and Light guide me on my way help me navigate this story through the night waiting for the day longing for all made right for the unseen real to replace what all the senses feel
like a dark wave swallowing up my soul all the doubt and shame why must it be this way growing old is growing close to a different shore to so much more than the sum of my failures or anything labeled a success it’s all just a mess
oh Lord and Light i’m grateful that you gave me sight for this mess that i call my life for you carried me you saw me you ransomed me so i’ll follow you i’ll turn to you surrender to you and let you tell me who i am for you are love and far above this darkened sky and far below this blackened sea your glory and light your power and might the Lord and Light is with me in me all around me
rutakintome pictures 
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