i don't know about you but there is so much i need to say goodbye to i'll welcome the endings practice some surrendering
it's hard to study all the expectations that are now a pile of eliminations i thought this or that would be the life i would have releasing longings into the fiery ending of this day i guess it will be okay
turns out being free is not about me trying to step aside God are you tired of hearing about my pride set is ablaze like the end of this day i'm tired of getting my way
love and hope sin and shadow peace and stillness heartache and sorrow is there a place deep in the marrow of my soul where all the counterpoint of being human is awakened restored and rises whole
saying goodbye to all that tethers me to this dirt i'd rather stiffen my neck than lift up my eyes stand on my own than fall to my knees search me and know my heart let all the parts of me that you see with grace and mercy
in and around this tattered old town nestled in the state of my mind taking a stroll on the pathways through my soul standing on the corner i see memories of younger days melodies of different ways on a street named regret at the corner of joy looking for an answer or two reaching for something true since i was a boy
acceptance forgiveness and gratitude my heart yearns for something more than the sum total of my days so i set my gaze on things above the unseen real unfailing love
and i wait
and choose to be still
as the sun
settles down
on this old tattered town
i welcome
the end of this day
knowing it is the only way
to a new dawn
another pathway
hidden in the Light
safe in Him
i rise
i am safe in Him
i’ll rise
the Light chases us even through a dense darkness a disorienting mist that surrounds our efforts to run towards anything that helps us to feel loved to feel free
the Light waits for us as we meander and stumble through grief and sorrow like a thick forest of tears you cut your way through angry branches and leaves of sadness but the forest closes in and muffles your weeping
the Light sees us even when we can’t breath and anxiety transforms the world into a tiny box from which we cannot escape and what we want more than anything is to be able to stretch out our hand so someone can take hold and guide us home
above beneath behind in front of every cry the Light
above beneath behind in front of all your sorrow the Light
above beneath behind in front of all your fear the Light
above beneath behind in front of you the Light a hand extended to guide you home a warm embrace to welcome you home
oh don’t mind me i’m just waiting for the end of the day anticipating not that i want to rush to say goodbye but i must
so here it is a day gone by forgive me for the the unfinished things and all that i did too loud words unspoken all that i said i just want to rest for a moment inside this sunset just for a moment in beauty wonder and dazzling sorrow
so don’t mind me i’m just hanging on the push and pull i don’t want to miss the painter’s sky yet a part of me just wants to cry for the gifts i hold and all i lost
so here it is a day gone by funny how the history of a single day can end so beautifully oh to fly like the birds soar and celebrate no i’ll just quietly let the colors paint my soul and say good… …bye
If you have hung around this blog for about, oh let’s say 3 minutes, you will know that I post many – as in “mucho many” – images of sunsets and sunrises. I am consistent, if not boring.
So, this past week, my wife and I have been enjoying a vacation on the Gulf Coast of Florida. As you imagine, the week here has afforded many opportunities to capture spectacular sunsets. And I did take too many photographs.
Before I share those, I thought I would share a post about the last sunset we saw together. I spent so much time taking pictures during the week, that on our last night at the beach I decided to be present to my bride, and present to the setting sun. I am so glad I did.
Sunset was around 7:25 PM. We sat down around 7:15 PM…ish. From this point, this is what I remember:
We placed our seal level chairs right at the edge of the gentle Gulf waves as they splashed over the white, baby powder sand and washed over our feet. I think “sea level chairs” is the correct technical term. They are very low to the ground. I know this because of the forklift that was used to help me get out of my sea level chair.
We angled our chairs – maybe the correct term is, “I dare you to get up chair” – just right so we would have a perfect view of the water and the sun as it made its descent towards the horizon.
There was a gentle breeze. This was unusual because each day this week was based on a weather template that included very hot and humid conditions, bright, blazing sunshine, and air molecules that were not permitted to move.
When we sat, there was a golden path stretching from our feet right to the edge of the horizon, just below the sun, reminiscent of Dorothy’s Yellow Brick Road, only with more waves and seagulls.
At times, it appeared as if the sun was shooting out this… tractor beam that would soon draw us in its light to meet the great star on the horizon. Then, a bird would catch my eye, and when I looked again, it appeared like the path was being created by… us! Like these impossibly close to the white, baby powder sand chairs were emitting a path of their own for us to follow. Whether it was the sun, or our powerful chairs, the beauty was hypnotic to experience.
This was because the gold highway cut straight through indigo blue water… no, wait… it was a blue-ish color with tints of green hues and dark small ripple shadows created by the breeze. I can’t say that I have ever seen water that color before. The water was not reflecting the color of the sky. The Gulf was creating its own magic with wavelengths of light.
The soundtrack to all of this was the beautiful ostinato of the swoosh and bubble-gurgling of the small waves, accompanied by the erratic, staccato calls of the particular kind of seagulls at this beach. I know as much about seagulls as I know about sea level chairs, so I can’t tell you the name of the musical ensembles and their performances. I imagined it would be what Stravinsky would write if he wrote a composition entitled: “The Rite of Sunset on Siesta Key.”
As the sun descended closer into the water, the people enjoying a stroll on the beach would stop. Some would look. Others would take out their phones. I did not judge them.
We kissed as the last, tiny, marble sized ember disappeared into the end of the day. Somewhere it was dawn.
a fleeting embrace
ending
with one last glance
one last wave
as you step
through security
with no one to help you
with your insecurity
ushered into a waiting room after transferring a kiss from you hand to her forehead overwhelming outcomes swirl in your mind
a quiet prayer folded hands shoulders crushed beneath sorrow and pain rest gently rest i’ll see you again
a collection of expectations neatly organized as you donate them to the upside down reality that is also your lament
younger days when smiles were abundant surrender to deep steel eyes aged by the weight of all that you must release all that you thought was the melody of your journey
memories that just fade and others that won’t go away songs that remain falling into the echoes of time and reminiscence of sad joy and mournful gratitude
sunsets loudly dazzle your soul swallowed by night colors overtaken by unstoppable darkness
still i welcome every hello every greeting every start every beginning every hope every hug every grace every possibility every giggle every sunset every sunrise while holding all the goodbyes
i haven’t thought this all the way through but i thought i’d share it with you i’ll start with a question or two do you see beauty around you do you see beauty within
colors and clouds shout out loud the sky canvas telling us connecting us to deeper fairer things do you see do you see
the beauty within you are an image bearer you are the only you but let’s set pride aside perfection does not reside inside His favor abides you are His child His creation
do you see beauty around you beauty within we are all a glorious ruin we are lost but we can see blind but we can be found do you see do you see
I still haven’t figure out why I find these wind farms so fascinating, but, that’s okay… it’s enough just to share the end of the day with some wind turbines. Thanks for stopping by.
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