in and around this tattered old town nestled in the state of my mind taking a stroll on the pathways through my soul standing on the corner i see memories of younger days melodies of different ways on a street named regret at the corner of joy looking for an answer or two reaching for something true since i was a boy
acceptance forgiveness and gratitude my heart yearns for something more than the sum total of my days so i set my gaze on things above the unseen real unfailing love
and i wait
and choose to be still
as the sun
settles down
on this old tattered town
i welcome
the end of this day
knowing it is the only way
to a new dawn
another pathway
hidden in the Light
safe in Him
i rise
i am safe in Him
i’ll rise
sometimes it doesn't feel like anything is rising in me held inside this gravity on my knees i just can’t see how why or when
life can be an in between a canyon of waiting in the unseen is there another side to this pain another way to restore loss laughter or song
O Light of the world color my soul shine into these old tears bring your radiance into my fears and all this uncertainty would you carry it for me i believe you know the why i trust you will show me how i let this sunrise fill the eyes of my heart and i cry for a morning with no more tears no more pain until then i wait and sing a sad song to say thank you i know you are here
take a breath and close your eyes i’m praying that you’ll realize that it’s enough to just be you it will take time but i know you will shine so ease your mind and take my hand i will help you stand and stay with you i will listen to every word you say i promise it will be okay sometimes everything is gray so that we can grow into what we were made to be and i know you will shine it will take time but you will realize that it’s enough to just be you
what will happen
if i let go
stop pretending
i have this
under control
what would happen
if i released
and ceased
from all this
striving
and trying
to make it
all go away
what if
i choose to stay
in the waiting
in the long
and unknown space
called faith
if i fall
will i just
be absorbed
into the fear
and sadness below
or will
He catch me
enfold me
come alongside
and
hold me
still
it feels so safe
right here
i’ve got something
i can do
clinging to
my stubborn pride
not falling
seems
like a good use of time
but He wants
to continue
to write
this story
called
my life
so
i
let
go
and
then………
waiting
keeping watch
searching
scanning horizons
i didn’t realize
that i was looking
for you all my life
waiting
for our
once upon a time
to begin
when i saw you
i ran to meet
you on the shore
of our journey
after all these years
i now know
i would choose to wait
and let a thousands tides
come and go
and let the lonely time
pass me by
if it meant
i could be near you
hear you say my name
yes i would
search for you
night and day
and
wait
this voyage called life
a perilous quest
under storms at night
and bright mornings of peace
living out vows
that we said
when we were kids
you’re still choosing to stay
beside me
i’m still choosing to stay
beside you
across all the wild wild seas
that are behind us
we found treasures
a guiding grace
that will lead us
a slower pace
that will ground us
a grateful space
that settles our minds
navigating
these later years
we get to wait
together
love
together
sitting here
with you
waiting here with you
remembering here
with you
we wait
for one day
the journey will end
until then
we get to wait
together
love
together
be
together
and in the waiting
practice staying
come what may
you’re still choosing to stay
beside me
i’m still choosing to stay
beside you
we
wait
so i might as well
write about the clouds today
lately more than a few
have come my way
but
hey
why do i think
that it has to
always go
my way
clouds
gray
lately they seem to stay
these uninvited guests
well
even when i try my best
to pretend
they just won't rest
until tears reappear
tearing through
my gray
gray
mind
oh i wonder if
i will ever find
a way
through
all the clouds
and all
the
gray
oh cardinal
is there a prayer for me
wrapped up
in all your music
and melody
through the gray
the notes they fly
to find the light
they tell my soul
that it’s okay
to take a stroll
through
all the clouds
and all
the
gray
and just stay
wait
and
pray
well snowy spring morning
i wonder did you know
that through the window
of my soul
the snow is falling
soft and still
the birdsong
silent ‘neath the chill
and beauty
hides in the silence
and sadness hides
in the unknown
and hope hides
in the fleeting faith
that rises with
each falling flake of snow
did you know
snowy spring morning
there is something growing
in the waiting
flowers put their hoodies on
and trees are standing
at the ready
oh snowy spring morning
paint the ground
and sparkle the air
i’ll find the beauty
while the birds
remember their songs
and beauty
hides in the silence
and sadness hides
in the unknown
and hope hides
in the fleeting faith
that rises with
each falling flake of snow
did you know
snowy spring morning
o sunset sky
i wonder if you cry
as you say goodbye
to all this day
has left behind
o sunset sky
would you stay with me
and cry
my sunset sky
o sunset sky
what do you see
as darkness falls
around me
this pain and loss
and mystery
i cannot see
what lies before me
o sunset sky
won’t you cry for me
o sunset sky
i know you try
to make smile
all that fire in the sky
it leaps so high
and fills my world
with colors
and beauty
and wonder
and that ache
in my heart
just starts
again
so goodbye
my sunset sky
goodbye
snowflakes
like little frozen stars
are dancing around
my backyard
barren branches shiver
beneath winter’s breath
there is a kind of death
that erases memories
of fireflies
and summer rain
but is’t okay
there are frozen stars
dancing around
my backyard
this winter day
cold and wind
sweep the messy fall away
cold stardust blankets the ground
and delicately paints the trees
and help me see
that all this loss
of green and flower
is the rhythm of you and me
for there is power
in resting
waiting
dying
to even beautiful things
that may shackle our souls
and find new life
beneath the barren
new love
beneath the bitterness
new warmth
beneath the cold
let’s dance
like little frozen stars
in my backyard
and remember
that what seems random
when we feel abandoned
when our hearts are unable to fathom
the singing of the birds
we wait
in the in between
and come to the Word
He speaks into our stillness
He speaks into our silence
while little frozen stars
dance in my backyard
november rose
i wonder if you know
that there is snow
that the cold and chill
and wind will still
your crimson petals
will fall and tumble
your proud will
will be humbled
i wonder if you know
that the season
will bring death
but in the midst
of dark cold air
and icy nights
there
right there
new life
and so we all must wait
through the winters of our days
we all must breathe the cold air
surrender what we fear
and let the clear icy skies
revive
restore
and make us alive
and help us remember
that there is more
that needs to die
surrender
in order
to be alive
once more
alive
rutakintome pictures 
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