we sing of a silent night and of a Wonderful Counselor born on a bleak mid-winter of starry skies and angel choirs while rushing here and late again there parties and gatherings there’s so much left on our lists
we want Christmas in our culture but is Christ in our hearts buy now pay later real time tracking replaces real time reflecting pondering the Prince of Peace Immanuel God with us
we wail and cry for the suffering in this world while we pass by the violence we commit against ourselves we stream and binge have another drink or two or we click buy now pushing the pain away hoping this shallow happiness will stay even though we know it’s just a matter of time before that dark cold low presses on our chest so we keep doing maybe later later we will rest
the hope of the world this baby boy born into the icy darkness of our souls is He welcome in the home of your heart
the light of the world born into the chaos that is our pain do we surrender to His invitation filled with grace and truth
for He entered into our suffering He walked this place of sorrows the Creator holds the universe in the palm of his tiny hands
O Jesus little baby boy hold me help me have mercy on me
i’m trying to let go sometimes surrendering doesn’t fit all the shoulds i’m chasing
you see i have this life equation that should equal the sum total of all my expectations of how it all should unfold and then i see it unravel everywhere and nowhere i want to be
i’m trying to let go after all we will all one day let go of everything so why do i try to hang on to so much
like my pride why didn’t you take my side i can only see the me side of you
like still holding onto my right and i’m right and you’re not i can’t see how dark and confusing i make it for you
like when i hold onto my disengaged attitude pushing you away silencing your voice you’re not real you don’t really know what you feel so let me tell you
like when i hold onto my fear i don’t think you’ll stay here if you see the real in me
God help me to let go and to know that even when i fall that i am descending into freedom decreasing into the fullness of who you made me to be
We were in in Dallas, Texas last week for a conference and took the opportunity to explore Deep Ellum! What a fantastic destination in Dallas! Great food, great coffee, and super cool urban art. Enjoy!
and there were threads in the garden and there were stars in the leaves and there jewels on the flowers and there were diamonds in the webs
and there were threads in my mind tethered to sorrow beauty lament wonder love
and there were stars in my heart sparkling memories regrets dreams loss hope
and there were jewels in my soul brilliantly reflecting the promises of my heavenly Papa the redemption of the Lamb the deliverance from the shadows of my brokenness
and there were diamonds all around family friends love companionship a smile an encouraging word gratitude melodies light beauty song
take a breath and close your eyes i’m praying that you’ll realize that it’s enough to just be you it will take time but i know you will shine so ease your mind and take my hand i will help you stand and stay with you i will listen to every word you say i promise it will be okay sometimes everything is gray so that we can grow into what we were made to be and i know you will shine it will take time but you will realize that it’s enough to just be you
The day began with a beautiful sunrise, courtesy of the Illinois River.
Then my wife and I worked on a small wallpaper project in our main floor bathroom. No one was hospitalized, the bathroom looks great, and we are still married. The true test of a couple’s emotional health is their ability to finish a wallpaper project!
Finally, hopped on the Kawasaki and took a ride to the wind farms on this beautiful day.
Hope you have a wonderful week. Thanks for stopping by.
standing still contemplating all the strategic decisions that brought me here ready to take a new step on the journey navigating this ocean of feelings the sadness just beneath the surface of it all how do we traverse the relational mines of this broken world no more pretending more unmasking what lies beneath the smiles and the tears so tired of defending time to stop protecting and submit to truth to words that may hurt but will heal the path to connection spend more time in reflection admitting all that’s wrong in me it’s so easy to live suppressing love and heartache stepping into releasing it all to Him embracing the journey inward not hiding what others see accepting all that is turning away from denying all that is the fog of reality is clearer that the seemingly serene shimmer of self-deception the crying is from the lying vulnerability is moving towards being free intimacy or distancing the choice is up to me to live in authenticity and humility is to break through the veneer of safety and i’m certain that certainty is not so certain after all faith requires the tension of a solid hope amidst the crazy of the now hate and willful ignorance are easy it’s love that is hard
still on the journey through achromatic beauty everything is okay no really it is well sort of i can’t make sense of a anything everything will be okay at least i hope it will but there is the now the inbetween the stumbling not quite sure which way to turn i recognize this strange space of uncertainty and stillness and i cry fast forwarding isn’t fun i cry feels like a lonely drowning i cry a jumbled pile of grief and loss wading through shattered hope and i cry God help me to accept the immovable reality of now and rest inhale exhale rest i cry
Here is Part 2 of some images from my recent trip to Guatemala. Many of these were taken at Mixco Viejo: a fortress city Mayan Ruin. Thanks for stopping by!
Greetings! The blog has been quiet because for the third year in a row I have left the US for beautiful Guatemala. Each year our church partners with a church in San Lucas Sacatepéquez, Guatemala. We build homes for the poor in El Zapote, do basic medical and first aid training and other ministries. As you can see, we also enjoyed Lake Atitlan. Part 2 soon. Thanks for stopping by.
rutakintome pictures 
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