Category: Fujifilm

finding the story of me

a little older
but none the wiser
at least it feels that way
saying goodbye to this day
i see the light slip away
like the fading memories 
that fill my mind
so many
would have
could have
should have moments
that i can’t reach
but they reach me
they teach me
to walk
with heaven in view
it’s okay to be
somewhat new
tired of all the blame
at the end of the shame game
open my eyes to see
the new
you’ve place
in me
so i can rise
above the gravity
and rest
in stillness
the silence
of deliverance
the calming
resonance
of your presence
eternity in me
there is Truth
that doesn’t fade away
a Light
that glows bright
through the day
and through the night

healing
mending
making all things right
like they were meant to be
weightless melodies
singing endless songs
free to sing along
redeemed from all that's wrong
you see i’m finding life
is letting go
of all the why
and it’s okay
to cry
to mourn
to feel
every lament
so i can fly
towards the light
not just a leap of faith
it’s accepting grace
and shining bright
swimming in
eternal light
finding the story
of me
in the Way
the Truth
the Life

i’ll choose being

a misty morning
a cup of joe
a reader's digest prayer
i gotta go
still doing
...something
still going
...somewhere
all this thinking
has got me
...swirling
...sinking
...unfurled
before unexamined winds

wait
i tell myself
to take it slow
to ponder
to wonder
do i know
who i am
am i present
in this moment
i'll choose being
let the doing go
and remember
to stay in
in the midst
of a misty
morning
and just
listen
to the music
of the stillness
i'll sing along
a wordless song
entering this
eternal moment
letting go
of shadows
as the light
rises in my soul
who knows
where this moment
will lead
if i listen
and trust
if i surrender
all that i think
i must do
and live in the light
and stay
right here
then maybe
i'll be
free
from the shadows
of doing
and going
i want to meet
my true self
and
just be
me

guatemala 1

My day job is as a pastor in a church that regularly offers short term mission opportunities. Last year I fell in love with the people of Guatemala, so I returned this summer. This post, and the next few, will contain images from our 10 day trip. These are images of the property where we stayed in San Lucas Sacatepéquez, and images of beautiful Nueva Santa Rosa.

stay

would like to see a few things stay
the untroubled giggles of a child
a sunset that kaleidoscopes for hours
an embrace that fills my heart with peace
a haunting melody that sinks into my soul
and reminds me that there is love
would like to see a few things stay
the knowing when our eyes connect
the crashing waves and their rhythmic balm
the birdsong soaring through the sad sky
colors leaping from a flower
spilling on my heavy brow
reminding me that there is life
would like to see a few things stay
a tree that shades me from all harm
a crystal river of understanding
shadows stretching through deep green woods
the Light that helps me see the Way
a hand to hold that guides through the pain
reminding me that someone’s there
to share a lonely road
oh stay with me
lover of my soul
let me see
the calm before
i lose myself
nowhere to go
the words of life
spoken long ago
an anchor for
an old old soul
reminding me
that You are here
in the mess
in my tears
reminding me
that
You
are
rest

life light and love

so in my heart
it’s raining
the stars don’t mind
the sun stays behind
the sad sad showers
just pitter patter
and i just stare
aware of the polyrhythmic percussion
perfectly synchronized
with the confusion
and the emotional concussion
there’s no melody
for this deep blue song
it just reminds me
of all that has gone wrong
we’re still feeling
the falling
living with the distance
the canyon of longing
and sighing
and crying
and dying
looking for morning
for light
for life
and love
for the endless morning
of light
and love

grow and sing and shine

she loved flowers
and it seems
like they loved her too
countless plants
happily shared the rooms
of our home
my mom would call each one
by name
no strange plants in her home

it takes someone special
to see that life thrives
the colorful flowers
the herbs and the spices
the garden outside
was no different
than the garden of our hearts
she tended to each one of us
and we grew in love
and tenderness
because she knew
that all things that are loved
grow and sing and shine
all things loved
grow
and sing
and
shine

shimmers and shines

i would like to shine
bright as a sunny day
and shimmer
like a jacob collier song
but i often find 
that old pride inside
and i stumble and lose my way
and it can go so wrong
when the shame gets strong
and i reach for a new identity
no matter how i try
i’m never free
when i think i don’t need
to be me

so i run back home
to the lover of my soul
it’s an uphill path
the lies inside
just laugh
so i bring to my mind
and heart
the One who has kept me
from the start

oh sing of the treasure
of His love
for me
for you
it shimmers
and shines

His mercy
shimmers
and shines
the Light of the world
lives inside
and He
always
shimmers
and shines

much more silence

hello sunrise
it’s so nice to find
you here
you’ve been on my mind
it feels like
such a long long time
and i’m kinda down
can you stay a while
and listen to this song
it’s not like everything’s wrong
but some dreams are gone
some tears are here to stay
a little older now
how will i find my way
the world is spinning too fast
looking for things that last
i am learning how
they can only be found
in the slowing down
and holy wondering
speaking less
much more silence
reflection
connection
surrender
and union
with my Maker
hello sunrise
such a nice surprise
sing along with me
i’m choosing to be free
detached to all
that pulls me down
standing tall
on my knees
please
Light of the world
oh please
help
me
see

the star maker knows

where is the solace
when life only brings darkness
an achromatic sunrise
unable to chase shadows
a sunset that never leaves

where is the gentle breeze
when life storms around and within
can’t breathe the rain soaked air
while i try to put on a smile
the pulse rate of my soul diminished

where are the hands
cradling a countenance
when the lonely tears
are seeking an embrace
standing in the middle of the universe
i guess the view is nice
but no one is there
to share the stars

i’ve heard it said
there is a place
where melodies and harmonies
take flight
like lullabies that never say goodnight
music you can taste
and hold in hand
or pull towards your heart
music that covers you
with a blanket of love and grace
the softest peace
a delicate abyss of joy

so i run to this place
in the darkness and the storm
i lift up my eyes
when it feels i can’t breathe
i fall into faith
when the tears want to stay
i tell my story
and let the music fill in the gaps
the star maker knows
each page of sorrow
each gaze of wonder
the calming comfort of trust
if i’m in the
pain of the valley
or the delight of the clouds
the star maker
knows
my
name
he knows my now
and my yesterdays
my what is to come

i breathe in timeless hope
i fall into
a vast fissure of love and rest

another valley is near
but
He
is
nearer

morning treasures

another morning at the gym
felt good to get the workout in
good to move and feel alive
but then again
there's the stuff inside
this heart of mine
that needs to be revived
to beauty
wonder
peace be still
quiet surrender
and some delight
and some letting go
of my will
i really could use the shore
but who really needs the shore
i take that back
i guess i do
but having said that
i looked for
morning treasures
and this is
what
i
found
i found
a joy to the world star
shining in my garage
and tons of diamonds
in my backyard
it seems that
someone spilled
a bunch of green
and i don't really care
it's new life
it's spring
the winter has passed
the hollow spaces
between all branches
like the hollow caverns in my soul
will be filled with green
and red
and white
and iris purple life
and also
i happened to find
harry's pianese snitch
does that mean i win
i'm thinking yes
and then i saw
black diamonds
on the rear window
of the sedan
they're glistening
as they reflect
the light
i'm listening
and in my heart
all seems right
as i treasure
these delights
i'm open
to
the
Way

the
Truth

the
Life