together we are america

I cannot recall a time when I felt more proud and profoundly sad – to the point of weeping – at the same time.

My mother and father were not wanted in the white suburban neighborhood that was the cultural context of my home. I only found out as an adult that my parents experienced racism. In junior high and high school I was often called a “spic” and also experienced racism.

My parents and the beautiful, crazy, loving till it hurt, generous, loud, FUNNY, hard working, intelligent, beautiful Puerto Rican family that I was a part of was the song, dance, and light of my life. 

Dancing in the basement of my uncle’s house in the Bronx while LP’s spun Salsa music in the air are golden memories that I would love… just love to step into and experience once again… even if it was just 5 minutes to see what, as a boy, I could not fully comprehend: people filled with so much love and joy who were also familiar with heartache, tragedy, misery and pain.

And, if I could be there again… just for 5 minutes… I would embrace them all and thank them and praise them for all the goodness, kindness and love they gave to me. They certainly weren’t perfect… but they were present… to me, to each other, and they found solace and refuge in their culture. A culture that celebrates, rejoices, works so hard, laughs and loves. They understood that together we are family.

My mother and father are Americans who were born in Puerto Rico. In case you are not aware, Bad Bunny is also an American born in Puerto Rico. I am the first generation on my father’s side born in New York. I am also an American. I still remember the sadness in my mother’s eyes because she struggled to speak English. My mom and dad are the most American Americans that I will ever know. They never forgot who they were and the beauty and depth of the culture of La Isla del Encanto

For the past 2-3 weeks I have been listening to Bad Bunny’s Grammy Award winning album, Debí Tirar Más Fotos. The songs feel like the soundtrack of my life. I could not be more proud to be Puerto Rican.

I was told that we are “…one nation, under God, INDIVISIBLE with LIBERTY and JUSTICE for ALL.” We can only make that pledge with integrity if we make it our mission. We can only make that pledge with honesty if that is how we choose to live and love others, especially those from all the nations that make up our nation. It seems that our behavior and our chosen allegiances reveal a different pledge: “…a nation, under siege from within, with liberty and justice for some…”

When Bad Bunny ended his amazing performance with “Together We are America” and the parade of flags from Latin American nations I began to think of the nations that make up our nation. I see no reason not to celebrate and learn about the nations that make up our nation, because together we are America. I see no reason not to listen, empathize and give liberty and justice for those who are marginalized, forced to live in fear, or just trying to make their way because they struggle with English, because together we are America. I see no reason not to dance, sing and celebrate my heritage and culture in the land of the free(?) because together we are America.

Thank you, mom and dad, for loving well. Thank you for being brave, strong and true to who you are in the midst of racism and hatred. Thank you for making life not about those who hate, but about passing on your heritage and legacy of laughter and love.

One day, when God gives justice and all is made right, our nation’s flag and pledge will no longer matter. It will be irrelevant. All nations will surrender before the true King of Kings. All nations will bow before the majesty and splendor of the victorious Savior of the world. We can celebrate all nations now because the nations will be welcome in eternity. Not just one nation. All nations.

I did not see a temple in the city, because the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple. The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp. The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendor into it. On no day will its gates ever be shut, for there will be no night there. The glory and honor of the nations will be brought into it.
Revelation 21:22-26

merry christmas

Dear WordPress family: wishing you all a joyful Holiday Season filled with light, love, and peace for you and yours.

a birthday evening in chicago

A few weeks ago we celebrated the 36th birthday of our oldest son in Chicago. We were married when we were 12, so we are not THAT old! 🙂 We enjoyed a wonderful dinner. It was my first time trying a tuna steak that was rare in the middle. Delicious! After dinner, our son suggested we take a walk over to the Up Room at The Robey, a beautiful Art Deco building built circa 1929. We were so glad we did! It was a beautiful summer evening in Chicago.

Thanks for stopping by.

life is a bit hectic…

…so I have fallen behind in posting some images that have been hanging out on my hard drive. These two are from a sunrise in my home town. I have taken many images from this spot. It’s just a short walk from our home. Does anyone else see what I see in that sky? Thanks for stopping by!

what then

if a person’s heart breaks into pieces
and gets lost is the dark abyss
of depression and grief
and no one is there
what will that heart believe
about the world
and those who say
i’m your family
your friend

if a mind is fractured
scattered shattered
and full of noise
and no one is there
to listen
to be close
to wait
as long as the storm lasts
until the light breaks the night
what will that mind understand
what will that mind believe
about people
about this world

if a person is at the edge
their heads
so heavy in their hands
their pulse impossibly accelerated
their body rigid and tense
every muscle screaming

stop

and no one is there
to hold them
hear them
believe them
what then
________________________

May is Mental Health Awareness month, at least here in the States. Do you need help? You are not alone. I don't want you to go another minute without assistance and encouragement.
Contact a local counseling professional, a pastor, or feel free to contact me on the left side of my blog.

grateful

I took a picture of the pin oak in our front yard because I felt bad that I was cross with this beautiful tree. Usually, it keeps most of its leaves through winter, but this week it quickly surrendered many of its leaves to the breezes of the day. After a considerably long, reluctant dance with my rake, I looked up and saw this. I took a moment to join this beautiful tree, as we both enjoyed the cold, leaf scented air as the sky showed us how it would close this day. Grateful.

a thousand tides

waiting
keeping watch
searching
scanning horizons
i didn’t realize
that i was looking
for you all my life
waiting
for our
once upon a time
to begin
when i saw you
i ran to meet
you on the shore
of our journey
after all these years
i now know
i would choose to wait
and let a thousands tides
come and go
and let the lonely time
pass me by
if it meant
i could be near you
hear you say my name
yes i would
search for you
night and day
and
wait
this voyage called life
a perilous quest
under storms at night
and bright mornings of peace
living out vows
that we said
when we were kids
you’re still choosing to stay
beside me
i’m still choosing to stay
beside you
across all the wild wild seas
that are behind us
we found treasures
a guiding grace
that will lead us
a slower pace
that will ground us
a grateful space
that settles our minds
navigating
these later years
we get to wait
together
love
together
sitting here
with you
waiting here with you
remembering here
with you
we wait
for one day
the journey will end
until then
we get to wait
together
love
together
be
together
and in the waiting
practice staying
come what may
you’re still choosing to stay
beside me
i’m still choosing to stay
beside you
we
wait

have mercy

tragic
insanity
i
can’t
breathe

stunned
disbelief
heart
shattered

no
place
to
hold
any
of
this

sorrow
upon
sorrow
please
wake
me
up

darkness
wailing
misery
descending

i’m
so
sorry
wordless
pain
engulfs
everything

hands
on
my
ears
sill
hear
the
cries

hands
on
my
eyes
still
see
their
eyes

hands
on
my
mouth
still
see
the
screams

is
this
who
we
are
is
this
who
i
am

oh
God
of
mercy
please
have
mercy

we
are
all
falling
fallen

tumbling
crying
retching
dying

oh
God
of
mercy

please

have

mercy

mom

My mom passed away. She was 97. My mom and dad were married for 64 years. She has left a legacy of love… a rich, tender love, freely shared with family, friends and the stranger.

caregiver

husband
father
provider
papa
great papa
dad
caregiver

for years
he’s been by her side
coffee in the morning
every meal
prepared with pride
keeping track
of all the meds
cleaning and cooking
making the bed
letting go of self
in untold ways
after retirement dreams
placed on the shelf
he tries his best
and without rest
he serves her
he loves her

caregiver
such a lonely place
none will ever know
nor can ever trace
the chores
and trips to the stores
how patiently
he listens
in the bickering
it’s sometimes hard
to keep emotions
in line
still he sighs
and tries to understand
tries to let it go
tries to show
that it’s okay
really
i don’t think
he would want it
any other way
just the other day
he said
“after all she’s done for me i serve her”

real men
like my dad
realize that it’s
not what you have
it’s not what you take
or what you win
or what you gain
it’s losing yourself
to serve another
denying yourself
to comfort another
love is not a word
it’s washing her feet
helping her dress
cleaning the mess
changing the sheets
and all rest
that won’t
fit on this page

some might say
he is a hero
bigger than life
exemplary
extraordinary
and they would be right
but i think in the end
my dad loves his wife
his precious friend
it’s Freddy and Carmen
with love in their hearts
right from the start
they meant it
till death do us part
he’s still serving his bride

still
by
her
side