Tag: hope

you are here

sometimes it doesn't feel like
anything is rising in me
held inside this gravity
on my knees i just can’t see
how
why
or when

life can be an in between
a canyon of waiting in the unseen
is there another side to this pain
another way to restore
loss
laughter
or song

O Light of the world color my soul
shine into these old tears
bring your radiance into my fears
and all this uncertainty
would you carry it for me
i believe you know the why
i trust you will show me how
i let this sunrise fill the eyes of my heart
and i cry for a morning with no more tears
no more pain
until then i wait and sing a sad song
to say thank you
i know
you
are
here

the Light

the Light chases us
even through
a dense darkness
a disorienting mist
that surrounds our efforts
to run towards anything
that helps us
to feel
loved
to feel
free

the Light waits for us
as we meander and stumble
through grief and sorrow
like a thick forest of tears
you cut your way through
angry branches
and leaves of sadness
but the forest
closes in
and muffles your weeping

the Light sees us
even when we can’t breath
and anxiety transforms the world
into a tiny box
from which
we cannot escape
and what we want
more than anything
is to be able
to stretch out our hand
so someone
can take hold
and guide us home

above
beneath
behind
in front of every cry
the Light

above
beneath
behind
in front of all your sorrow
the Light

above
beneath
behind
in front of all your fear
the Light

above
beneath
behind
in front of you
the Light
a hand extended
to guide you home
a warm embrace
to welcome you home

jewels in my soul

and there were threads in the garden
and there were stars in the leaves
and there jewels on the flowers
and there were diamonds in the webs
and there were threads in my mind
tethered to sorrow
beauty
lament
wonder
love
and there were stars in my heart
sparkling memories
regrets
dreams
loss
hope
and there were jewels in my soul
brilliantly reflecting
the promises
of my heavenly Papa
the redemption
of the Lamb
the deliverance
from the shadows
of my brokenness
and there were diamonds
all around
family
friends
love
companionship
a smile
an encouraging word
gratitude
melodies
light
beauty
song

it’s enough to just be you

take a breath and close your eyes
i’m praying that you’ll realize
that it’s enough to just be you
it will take time 
but i know you will shine
so ease your mind and take my hand
i will help you stand and stay with you
i will listen to every word you say
i promise it will be okay
sometimes everything is gray
so that we can grow
into what we were made to be
and i know you will shine
it will take time
but you will realize
that it’s enough
to just
be you

connection

standing still
contemplating all
the strategic decisions
that brought me here
ready to take a new step
on the journey
navigating
this ocean of feelings
the sadness
just beneath
the surface of it all
how do we traverse
the relational mines
of this broken world
no more pretending
more unmasking
what lies beneath
the smiles
and the tears
so tired of defending
time to stop protecting
and submit to truth
to words that may hurt
but will heal
the path to connection
spend more time in reflection
admitting all that’s wrong
in me
it’s so easy to live
suppressing
love and heartache
stepping into releasing
it all to Him
embracing the journey inward
not hiding what others see
accepting all that is
turning away
from denying all that is
the fog of reality
is clearer
that the seemingly
serene shimmer of self-deception
the crying
is from the lying
vulnerability is moving
towards being free
intimacy or distancing
the choice is up to me
to live in authenticity
and humility
is to break through
the veneer of safety
and i’m certain
that certainty
is not so certain after all
faith requires
the tension
of a solid hope
amidst the crazy
of the now
hate and
willful ignorance
are easy
it’s love
that is
hard

Kyrie eleison
Christe eleison

the in between

still on the journey
through achromatic beauty
everything is okay
no
really
it is
well
sort of
i can’t make sense of a anything
everything will be okay
at least i hope it will
but there is the now
the inbetween
the stumbling
not quite sure
which way to turn
i recognize
this strange
space of uncertainty
and stillness
and i cry
fast forwarding
isn’t fun
i cry
feels like
a lonely drowning
i cry
a jumbled pile
of grief and loss
wading through
shattered hope
and i cry
God
help me to accept
the immovable
reality of now
and rest
inhale
exhale
rest
i
cry

all the goodbyes

a fleeting embrace
ending
with one last glance
one last wave
as you step
through security
with no one to help you
with your insecurity
ushered into
a waiting room
after transferring a kiss
from you hand
to her forehead
overwhelming outcomes
swirl in your mind
a quiet prayer
folded hands
shoulders
crushed beneath
sorrow and pain
rest
gently rest
i’ll see you
again
a collection
of expectations
neatly organized
as you donate them
to the upside down reality
that is also your lament

younger days
when smiles
were abundant
surrender to
deep steel eyes
aged by the weight
of all that you must release
all that you thought
was the melody of your journey
memories
that just fade
and others
that won’t go away
songs that remain
falling into the echoes
of time and reminiscence
of sad joy
and mournful gratitude
sunsets loudly
dazzle your soul
swallowed by night
colors overtaken
by unstoppable darkness
still
i welcome
every hello
every greeting
every start
every beginning
every hope
every hug
every grace
every possibility
every giggle
every sunset
every sunrise
while holding
all the goodbyes
and i’m glad
so
immeasurably
glad

i
am
with
you

my Eternal Light

a gentle breeze
kissed the trees
and their leaves
applauded with glee
sunrise beams
painted the fields
the streams
awakening colors
dispelling the shadows
oh Eternal LIght
can you do the same
for me
you see
i’m wrestling now
with shadows deep
sad sad songs
keep echoing
and i weep
for these longings
keep on singing
and i can’t make out
the melody
all seems wrong
where are
the joyful songs
will you
shine on my mind
running all these
scenarios
is a drain
but the pain
remains
will you shine
on my troubled heart
mend all the jagged broken parts
help me to start
anew
i will trust
i will trust
in You
my
Eternal
Light

unfurled alive and free

there is a desperate
feigned beauty
to a closed heart
not present to pain
like a tragic lullaby
an inconsolable melody
celebrating safety
striving to look like peace
reluctant to feel
locked up in dark silence
encased in emptiness

choose to feel
to stay connected
to what’s real
stay in the pain
even in the rain
gifts are to be found
don’t turn around
lament all that is broken
laugh as if it’s all okay
cry because
you know it’s not
take a step of faith
none of us is free
from danger
find a friend
who will walk
beside you
and let you feel

let you be
unfurled
alive
and free

this thing called life

taking time to just be
on this gentle
quiet morning
by the sea
soothing waves
share their melodies
as soft hues
of morning light
fall upon the endless sand
and fill my eyes
with stilled wonder
i try to look down
into the deep
of my own heart
and feel the sad songs
find the gifts of grace
stay in anger’s embrace
pray for resurrection
to race
through the turmoil
and the pain
lift me higher again
so i can return
to You
and in so doing
return to me
slowly the
luminance of the colors
rise across the sky
as the colors of love
wash over me
eternity is in my heart
thankful for
each crazy part
of this thing
called life

this thing
called life