letting go

at this ripe young age
can it be three score
as i turn each page
i know less not more
and the more of less i know
it seems
it’s about letting go

i let go of the boy
i used to be
though he still
seems to want his own way
so still letting go
of my selfish ways
that boy won’t go away
that’s okay
i’m learning
letting go

i let go of just me
“i do” means now “we”
can it be two score
and there is so much more
of letting go
that i need to know
for “we”

letting go of
seeking me in her
letting go
of smashing mirrors
with my pride
letting go
of thinking
it’s better to hide
letting go
of staying inside
my head
letting go
of keeping my heart
to myself
i guess
the long slow road
of letting go of self

letting go
of expectations
of
well
everything
and
everyone
letting go
of just taking
letting go
of just faking
that we’re all okay

i pray i practice well
all the lettings go’s
that wait for me
‘cause someday soon
the last let go
will come into my room
and i want peace
and i want to know
that all those other letting go’s
will help me see
what waits for me
is an eternal embrace
it really is amazing grace
He never has
and never will
let go
of me

so welcome to your new day

so welcome to your new day
time to tell your story
time to give yourself away
let go of the worry
and why so much hurry
time to slow down
what story will you tell
this day

so welcome to your new day
don’t compare and don’t stare
at all the insta-images
that sometimes just won’t dare
to be real and to say

i’m who i am
occasionally stumbling
always broken
anxiety has stolen some joy
but i’m who i am
loved by God
an image bearer
of my Creator
i am here
on this new day

so see the Light
who makes wrongs right
and mends our hurting souls
He lifts our heads
shows us the way
each time we go astray
He forgives
welcome to your new day
let go of that worry
don’t hurry
past the Light
on this new day

it’s a journey after all

i'm so glad
the Light found me
just as i am
i began to be free
identity restored
i'm not trying to earn anymore
i'm so glad
the Light found me

and now a love
has touched my soul
all of my past
all that’s yet to unfold
slowly being restored
i was blind
but now i see
oh, i’m so glad
the light found me

i still stumble
and fall
it’s a journey
after all
so be patient with me
i’ve got miles to go
i’m not what i will be
it’s a struggle you see
but this Light found me
so i trust and i wait
it’s the mess i call faith
but i’m so glad
the Light found me

rest in you

sometimes i feel
like i don’t belong
i’m not a part
of the song
that everyone
seems to know
and i wonder
if i’ll ever know
how to sing again

you see i’m not quite sure
what’s deep inside
i’m not quite sure
that i’m all right
i’m not quite sure
if i
matter
did i ever
matter

hey world
i wonder
if it’s okay with you
to quietly say
i’m not okay
i’m sad
and
don’t
know
why
i’m mad
and even when i try
to find some rest
all i find
is just a mess
i’m just a mess

so i still will pray
peace be still
God please
invade my heart
and my will
and let me see
what you see
in me
and rest
i am a mess
but i’ll rest
in You

i’ll rest
in You

dear mommy dear daddy

dear mommy
dear daddy
i’m sorry
you’re sad
i want you
to know that
i am
with Peace
i am
at peace

dear mommy
dear daddy
this wasn’t
your fault
i want you
to know that
i am free
of pain

dear mommy
dear daddy
when grieving
gives space
the light
that you gave me
let it shine
in this world
so many
are living
but they’re
not alive
lonely
forgotten
and screaming
inside
it would
make me
so happy
to know
you
are
listening

dear mommy
dear daddy
give others
what you
gave me
love
light
life

dear mommy
dear daddy
if i could just say
this longing
this knowing
it’s not supposed
to be this way
we all know it
we all see it
do you know
what it means
that we all
know this place
that we never
have seen
where all is made right
no darkness only light
where mommies
and daddies
at the end of the day
hug their children
and play
and love
is over all
in all
between all
so let us all pray
Your Kingdom come
Your will be done
on earth
as it is
in heaven

- written with lament, sorrow, love and prayers for those who lost everything and for the community of Uvalde

oh sing my soul

the tomb is empty
and all the emptiness inside
is filled with light
don’t have to run and hide
i will rise
because He lives
 
the tomb is empty
and all the sin inside
all the tears i cried
no matter what i tried
only your life
has resurrected mine
 
the tomb is empty
and all i’m hoping for
this moment now
and forevermore
 
oh sing my soul
i have a home
that will never
fade away
oh sing my soul
all will be new
He is the way
the truth
the life
 
the tomb is empty
and all the shame inside
is gone
His love abides
in my broken soul
i am whole
for He rose
and the tomb
is empty

forever i am yours

there is a river of love
coming down for us
flowing down for us
my Lord

there is a river of hope
reaching out for us
speaking into us
my Lord

i don’t know what to make
of this world anymore
i’m tired of crying
want to see a different shore
i don’t know what to make
of these anxious thoughts
i don’t think i can take
all this pain we’ve wrought
my Lord
here’s my life
here’s my heart

there is a river of peace
oh He’s here for me
oh He’s here for you
my Lord

there is a river of life
washing over us
healing all of us
my Lord

i don’t know what to make
of this world anymore
i’m tired of crying
want to see a different shore
i don’t know what to make
of this sadness inside
just want to be awake
on the other side
my Lord
here’s my life
here’s my heart

there is a river of light
shining in the dark
singing in my heart
my Lord

there is a river of time
forever i am yours
forever i am yours
my Lord

forever i am yours
my Lord

all around me

the last goodbye is coming soon
at least sooner than i every knew
trusting that the Light behind me
will be above me
beneath me
before me
all around me

still walking on this road with you
still leaving shadows behind
don’t want to be swallowed up
by all the wrong
the things i said
the things i’ve done
in Your love
those shadows flee
they are gone
in the Light of Your love

this life is long
and yet we know
the yesterdays are longer still
a line called life
stretches behind me
so i'm making a new yesterday
today

looking before me along the way
faith and hope and love will stay
so let me walk along this road
to the Light
in the Light
this burden is light
with You
behind me
above me
beneath me
before me
inside me
all around
me

all we see

it’s not going to be okay
at least not in the way
we want it to be
okay won’t do today
longing for so much more

it’s not going to be okay
at least not in the way
we want it to be
the sorrow stays
my heart is sure
there is a place
where tears will end
okay then when
will that day be

it’s not going to be okay
at least not in the way
we want it to be
there’s a promise
for you and for me
surrender will be
all on our knees
finally
light will be
all we see

light will be
all we see

help us dream

so i wonder
dr. king
what you would say
we have done
with your dream
it seems
we got it wrong
and there’s no song
to help us anymore

so i wonder
dr. king
what you would say
as you stroll
on our main streets
sit in our bible studies
and share a meal
at our dinner tables

i wonder
dr. king
if you don’t mind
would you help us
dr. king
we
seem to
have
lost
our
mind

and there’s
a greater loss
dr. king
we don’t love
our neighbor
as we love
ourselves
dr. king
i’m so sorry

but just
one more thing
dr. king
would you
help us dream
dr. king
help us to make
one day
now
dr. king
we are asleep
dr. king
and we have forgotten
how to dream