the star maker knows

where is the solace
when life only brings darkness
an achromatic sunrise
unable to chase shadows
a sunset that never leaves

where is the gentle breeze
when life storms around and within
can’t breathe the rain soaked air
while i try to put on a smile
the pulse rate of my soul diminished

where are the hands
cradling a countenance
when the lonely tears
are seeking an embrace
standing in the middle of the universe
i guess the view is nice
but no one is there
to share the stars

i’ve heard it said
there is a place
where melodies and harmonies
take flight
like lullabies that never say goodnight
music you can taste
and hold in hand
or pull towards your heart
music that covers you
with a blanket of love and grace
the softest peace
a delicate abyss of joy

so i run to this place
in the darkness and the storm
i lift up my eyes
when it feels i can’t breathe
i fall into faith
when the tears want to stay
i tell my story
and let the music fill in the gaps
the star maker knows
each page of sorrow
each gaze of wonder
the calming comfort of trust
if i’m in the
pain of the valley
or the delight of the clouds
the star maker
knows
my
name
he knows my now
and my yesterdays
my what is to come

i breathe in timeless hope
i fall into
a vast fissure of love and rest

another valley is near
but
He
is
nearer

a 4272023 morning

it's a 4272023 morning
the kind of morning
that will never be here again
the fire leaves are awakening
big blue skies are smiling
the proud trees are welcoming
a 4272023 morning

the silent digital sentinel
on our wrist
counts the seconds
that will make up the moments
of this gift we call a day
the unrepeatable you
this world of image bearers
in all our collective  journeys
we share
the sorrow
the waiting
the singing
the building
the crying
the disorientation
the confusion
the celebration
the shame
the brokenness
the wonder
the exhaustion
the despair
the longing
for meaning
the searching for love
it's who we are
glorious and ruinous

on this 4272023 morning
let’s remember together
our Creator is here
for you and me
for all the world
the Light has overcome the darkness
so we can open our hearts
and become fire leaves
illuminated
dazzling
sparkling
welcoming the Light
the everlasting Love
awakened by eternal songs
of redemption

so this 4272023 morning
will soon be gone
what will we leave behind
words of comfort
love and laughter
shared tears
forgiving eyes
grateful for
a 4272023 morning
and grateful
for you

latte la dee da day

it’s time start
another latte
la dee da day
man the traffic
is insane today
well
like every other day
routine kicks in
meetings
where no one
really meets
a zoom here
a zoom there
a formica connection
can look so nice
a cladding smile
hope they don’t see
my empty eyes
what does it say
when the best part
of this day
is traffic
on the way
home to my
netflix series
or was it hulu
what’s a lonely soul
to do
there’s a war somewhere
everybody’s yelling
but no one’s really saying
anything
that sounds like truth
or has some roots
that sink deep in my heart
so i lift up my eyes
and through the tears
i cry why
why did i say it that way
why did they make fun of me
why does the sadness stay
why God
do you sometimes
feel so far away
you see i’m in the boat
the horizon is gone
and the storms
rage within
and all around
so wake up Lord
wake up
i don’t know
what to do
but i know
you
are
here
in my messy today
in my messy yesterday
oh won’t you
wake up
my soul
because
i see the Tree
You there for me
i’ll linger here
and sing a song
to You
the melody
may be sad
but for now
it’s all i have
so it’s Yours
and
i
am
too

no easter monday morning blues for me

no easter monday morning blues for me
i hit the snooze times three
don’t want a jelly belly day
the church is empty and the band went home
the dawn has come to say hello
the plastic eggs are put away
but no easter monday morning blues for me

no easter monday morning blues for me
the kids are late the bus on time
how can a child make so much whine
has there really been a change in me
i need to hunt for peace and be free
from the weight of all the noise inside
He rose
i rise
He rose
i rise
yes
no easter monday morning blues for me

no easter monday morning blues for me
i’m different now and yet the same
shame shadows call and taunt with glee
i’m doing more but i just need to be
remembering love’s refrain
that it is finished
yes, it is finished
and though i fall in that same place
i’ll remind myself of His great grace
and take that little step of faith
no easter monday morning blues for me

He rose
i rise
He rose
i rise
each moment through this crazy day
He’s resurrection lights the way
so i can trust and say
no easter monday morning blues for me

alive in me

not sure that i'm ok
doesn't matter anyway
it's just another day
feeling like i lost my way
running here and running there
things to do
but i just don't care

got a few more likes
is this real life
a venti latte if you please
is anyone else ill at ease

i wonder if i scream
will i wake up from this dream
and feel again
and breathe again

the preacher said that He's alive
oh God i really hope that's true
i guess i want to be made new
all the old is just so hard
learn stuff
get stuff
and find a cause

i know i want to be set free
would really love to be just me

Jesus did you rise that high
higher than my shame inside
cause if you did please hear my cry
something has to change inside

confession is so hard for me
Jesus here is the real me
help me rise and live again
help me please i'm on my knees
dear God please rise
dear Jesus come alive
in me

letting go

at this ripe young age
can it be three score
as i turn each page
i know less not more
and the more of less i know
it seems
it’s about letting go

i let go of the boy
i used to be
though he still
seems to want his own way
so still letting go
of my selfish ways
that boy won’t go away
that’s okay
i’m learning
letting go

i let go of just me
“i do” means now “we”
can it be two score
and there is so much more
of letting go
that i need to know
for “we”

letting go of
seeking me in her
letting go
of smashing mirrors
with my pride
letting go
of thinking
it’s better to hide
letting go
of staying inside
my head
letting go
of keeping my heart
to myself
i guess
the long slow road
of letting go of self

letting go
of expectations
of
well
everything
and
everyone
letting go
of just taking
letting go
of just faking
that we’re all okay

i pray i practice well
all the lettings go’s
that wait for me
‘cause someday soon
the last let go
will come into my room
and i want peace
and i want to know
that all those other letting go’s
will help me see
what waits for me
is an eternal embrace
it really is amazing grace
He never has
and never will
let go
of me

rest in you

sometimes i feel
like i don’t belong
i’m not a part
of the song
that everyone
seems to know
and i wonder
if i’ll ever know
how to sing again

you see i’m not quite sure
what’s deep inside
i’m not quite sure
that i’m all right
i’m not quite sure
if i
matter
did i ever
matter

hey world
i wonder
if it’s okay with you
to quietly say
i’m not okay
i’m sad
and
don’t
know
why
i’m mad
and even when i try
to find some rest
all i find
is just a mess
i’m just a mess

so i still will pray
peace be still
God please
invade my heart
and my will
and let me see
what you see
in me
and rest
i am a mess
but i’ll rest
in You

i’ll rest
in You

remember

so i thought
i don’t know
that somehow
we would be different

so i thought
you and i
would be that story
that others
would love to tell

we just
seem to
stay in one place
choosing
immobility
you blame me
i blame you
standing in the pain
with you
brings no light

we said
i do
we said
i’ll stay
come pain
or joy
in loss
in light
we’re in
the wrong
fight

so i thought
so let’s just
look
into each other eyes
take each other’s hand
and gently remember

remember
love
remember
i do
remember
the vows
remember
together
remember
forgive me
remember
love
never
gives
up

remember

i

love

you

Our Father

you sound better today
better than yesterday
i’m your father… i know
you see I never left her side
I was with her when I imagined her
I saw her before there was time
and before the mountains stood
and the oceans sang
before the great forests
were just little children
she was my child
you sound better today
better than yesterday
i’m your father… i know

what you see as trial
I see as triumph
what you see as pain
I see as refining
what you see as darkness
is just light to Me
what you see as defeat
is just another step
upon the light of eternity
a small thread
in the tapestry
an immeasurable stroke of the brush
on this canvas of beauty
for she is a masterpiece
radiant in my love
held in My arms
you sound better today
better than yesterday
i’m your father… i know
I saw her tears
I saw yours too
fear and trust
doubt and peace
such a crazy dance
it is the unseen real
that you must see
it is the end of the rope
that you must release

you sound better today
better than yesterday
i’m your father… i know
I have come
to know your pain
I have suffered
beyond all suffering
give yourself to me
I am acquainted
with your deepest grief
and I know how alone
you feel
how helpless
out of control
alone
just give yourself to me
you sound better today
better than yesterday
i’m your father… i know

that’s what your
earthly papa said
when he called you

you see I gave him to you
he knows

and please hear Me
I’m your Father
I know