letting go

at this ripe young age
can it be three score
as i turn each page
i know less not more
and the more of less i know
it seems
it’s about letting go

i let go of the boy
i used to be
though he still
seems to want his own way
so still letting go
of my selfish ways
that boy won’t go away
that’s okay
i’m learning
letting go

i let go of just me
“i do” means now “we”
can it be two score
and there is so much more
of letting go
that i need to know
for “we”

letting go of
seeking me in her
letting go
of smashing mirrors
with my pride
letting go
of thinking
it’s better to hide
letting go
of staying inside
my head
letting go
of keeping my heart
to myself
i guess
the long slow road
of letting go of self

letting go
of expectations
of
well
everything
and
everyone
letting go
of just taking
letting go
of just faking
that we’re all okay

i pray i practice well
all the lettings go’s
that wait for me
‘cause someday soon
the last let go
will come into my room
and i want peace
and i want to know
that all those other letting go’s
will help me see
what waits for me
is an eternal embrace
it really is amazing grace
He never has
and never will
let go
of me

rest in you

sometimes i feel
like i don’t belong
i’m not a part
of the song
that everyone
seems to know
and i wonder
if i’ll ever know
how to sing again

you see i’m not quite sure
what’s deep inside
i’m not quite sure
that i’m all right
i’m not quite sure
if i
matter
did i ever
matter

hey world
i wonder
if it’s okay with you
to quietly say
i’m not okay
i’m sad
and
don’t
know
why
i’m mad
and even when i try
to find some rest
all i find
is just a mess
i’m just a mess

so i still will pray
peace be still
God please
invade my heart
and my will
and let me see
what you see
in me
and rest
i am a mess
but i’ll rest
in You

i’ll rest
in You

remember

so i thought
i don’t know
that somehow
we would be different

so i thought
you and i
would be that story
that others
would love to tell

we just
seem to
stay in one place
choosing
immobility
you blame me
i blame you
standing in the pain
with you
brings no light

we said
i do
we said
i’ll stay
come pain
or joy
in loss
in light
we’re in
the wrong
fight

so i thought
so let’s just
look
into each other eyes
take each other’s hand
and gently remember

remember
love
remember
i do
remember
the vows
remember
together
remember
forgive me
remember
love
never
gives
up

remember

i

love

you

Our Father

you sound better today
better than yesterday
i’m your father… i know
you see I never left her side
I was with her when I imagined her
I saw her before there was time
and before the mountains stood
and the oceans sang
before the great forests
were just little children
she was my child
you sound better today
better than yesterday
i’m your father… i know

what you see as trial
I see as triumph
what you see as pain
I see as refining
what you see as darkness
is just light to Me
what you see as defeat
is just another step
upon the light of eternity
a small thread
in the tapestry
an immeasurable stroke of the brush
on this canvas of beauty
for she is a masterpiece
radiant in my love
held in My arms
you sound better today
better than yesterday
i’m your father… i know
I saw her tears
I saw yours too
fear and trust
doubt and peace
such a crazy dance
it is the unseen real
that you must see
it is the end of the rope
that you must release

you sound better today
better than yesterday
i’m your father… i know
I have come
to know your pain
I have suffered
beyond all suffering
give yourself to me
I am acquainted
with your deepest grief
and I know how alone
you feel
how helpless
out of control
alone
just give yourself to me
you sound better today
better than yesterday
i’m your father… i know

that’s what your
earthly papa said
when he called you

you see I gave him to you
he knows

and please hear Me
I’m your Father
I know

5 Mile Bridge

1wet134t

Before I post a couple of portraits I wanted to share another shot of what has become a favorite spot of mine to photograph. I have posted other images of 5 Mile Bridge here, and  here. I have been riding my bicycle quite a bit this year, and this bridge is about 14 miles from my house. This bridge – and the barns nearby – is special to me. I love the sense of history and forgotten tales that I find here. The old barns particularly point back to days when the prairies were a little younger, and life a bit simpler. I use this bridge to remind me that I have committed to pray for a family, so, it has become a kind of sanctuary on my journey. Finally, it’s the whole process of riding that I just love: seeing the country go by, the wonder of how a familiar place can take on such varying characteristics and feel so different as the weather and seasons change, and yet remain familiar, and therefore somewhat comforting, each time I visit. And that’s enough of my musings for today…