Tag: light

this tattered old town

in and around
this tattered old town
nestled in the state
of my mind
taking a stroll
on the pathways
through my soul
standing on the corner
i see memories
of younger days
melodies of different ways
on a street named regret
at the corner of joy
looking for an answer or two
reaching for something true
since i was a boy
acceptance
forgiveness
and gratitude
my heart yearns
for something more
than the sum total
of my days
so i set my gaze
on things above
the unseen real
unfailing love
and i wait
and choose to be still
as the sun
settles down
on this old tattered town
i welcome
the end of this day
knowing it is the only way
to a new dawn
another pathway
hidden in the Light
safe in Him
i rise
i am safe in Him
i’ll rise

an advent prayer

we sing of a silent night
and of a Wonderful Counselor
born on a bleak mid-winter
of starry skies
and angel choirs
while rushing here
and late again there
parties and gatherings
there’s so much left on our lists
we want Christmas
in our culture
but is Christ in our hearts
buy now pay later
real time tracking
replaces real time reflecting
pondering the Prince of Peace
Immanuel
God
with
us
we wail and cry
for the suffering in this world
while we pass by
the violence we commit
against ourselves
we stream and binge
have another drink or two
or we click
buy now
pushing the pain away
hoping this shallow
happiness will stay
even though we know
it’s just a matter of time
before that dark cold low
presses on our chest
so we keep doing
maybe later
later
we will rest
the hope of the world
this baby boy
born into the icy darkness
of our souls
is He welcome
in the home of your heart
the light of the world
born into the chaos
that is our pain
do we surrender
to His invitation
filled with grace and truth
for He entered into our suffering
He walked this place of sorrows
the Creator holds the universe
in the palm of his tiny hands

O Jesus
little baby boy
hold me
help me
have mercy on me

amen

all the goodbyes

a fleeting embrace
ending
with one last glance
one last wave
as you step
through security
with no one to help you
with your insecurity
ushered into
a waiting room
after transferring a kiss
from you hand
to her forehead
overwhelming outcomes
swirl in your mind
a quiet prayer
folded hands
shoulders
crushed beneath
sorrow and pain
rest
gently rest
i’ll see you
again
a collection
of expectations
neatly organized
as you donate them
to the upside down reality
that is also your lament

younger days
when smiles
were abundant
surrender to
deep steel eyes
aged by the weight
of all that you must release
all that you thought
was the melody of your journey
memories
that just fade
and others
that won’t go away
songs that remain
falling into the echoes
of time and reminiscence
of sad joy
and mournful gratitude
sunsets loudly
dazzle your soul
swallowed by night
colors overtaken
by unstoppable darkness
still
i welcome
every hello
every greeting
every start
every beginning
every hope
every hug
every grace
every possibility
every giggle
every sunset
every sunrise
while holding
all the goodbyes
and i’m glad
so
immeasurably
glad

i
am
with
you

let it all in let it all go

and i find that i’m choosing to let it all in
i stand in the light while i’m feeling the pain
that keeps falling like rain on my story again
and the clouds crowd my soul so i let it all go
carried on whispered prayers with hands pleading
lifted in unspoken longings eyes searching
for some kind of answer in this darkened light
embracing the rain and the clouds and all the unseen
running into the light as it reaches all that’s been
perhaps a lament or two will see me through
the paradox of this impermanent journey
a time for everything and everything in time
i’ll welcome the longing with singing
celebrate the love with understanding
that all is fading into unending yesterdays
and the clouds crowd my soul so i let it all go
and i’ll walk towards the light
keep my eyes on things above
and choose to love here below
and let it all go through trembling whispers of faith
until i find my way home with some amazing grace

and rise

new life
still all this strife
new opportunity
same entropy
new start
still in bed
new attitude
still no gratitude
new insights
still trying to fight
new word
still not listening
new day
same old ways
new light
still seeking shadows
new colors
same monochromatic soul
new gifts
same folded arms
for you
on this day
right now
new grace
boundless love
endless mercy
a Cross to bear
with an everlasting Companion
unmerited forgiveness
an endless sunrise
can be yours
receive
be centered
through surrender
be free
through confession
be at rest
through acceptance
come home
it is finished
lay down your shame
take up your hope
lift up your head
receive your identity
and rise

across our times

every now and then
a little boy
walks into the room
he was already here
he has never left
i just acknowledge
his presence

he sits
and listens
i share
memories
questions
doubts
fears
longings
words of comfort
and remorse
i sit
and listen
as he shares
stories
wishes
sorrows
giggles
secrets
tears
attempts to speak
all that was real

our meeting
is as a key to a lock
slowly arranging tumblers
a click or two closer
to opening a box
filled with light
opening a chamber of forgiveness
opening a door
that has been tightly shut
for too long
diminishing the shadows
and obscurity
of what it means
to be
sometimes
we just gaze
into each other
and see our soul
our converging wanderings
and there is calm
peace
between us
inside us
not because
all the mysteries
were explained
more because
across our times
we met
found solace
and remembered
who we are
who we are not
what to grasp
and what to set free

you are with me

opened my eyes
some time at the gym
took a look inside
silence and stillness with Him
and the eastern sky
beckoned with colors
and i don’t know why
at times i want to hide
and don’t want to discover
i’d rather not uncover
the true that’s in me
i need to confess
these silhouettes
that i present as real
why do i fight
why can it be so hard
to walk towards the Light
and be healed
and stand in His grace
i know shame goes away
don't have to hide my face
in the welcome of His mercy
shine
oh please shine in me
i do what’s old in me
and don’t do
from what i claim is new
so please shine
and let this new day
remind my heart
my soul
my mind
that you are with me
you are beneath me
before and behind me
you are all around me
i’ll take another step
toward the light
not by sight
by faith
i’ll wait
because
you
are
with
me

be still love well

do you see the beauty
all around you
a dazzling sunrise
colors and clouds
singing out loud
abandoned joy
dancing across the sky
are you stilled in wonder
at the edge of forever
as melodious crashing waves
meet the coarse sand beneath your feet
when the morning sky
touches your soul
and you do
and don’t know why
tears appear
and for a moment
it’s all okay
and when you say goodbye
to another day
are you at rest
is there peace in your mind
as the sun meets the sea
are you free
are you free
to feel all your sorrows
make space for your pain
see the hope of tomorrow
when colors and clouds
will see unending days
that chase all the shadows
of your heart away
and all the loose ends
of your crazy life story
will end
in the glory
of lux aeterna
so be still
love well
just take
another step
away from the shame
eternity covers your soul
breathe into your worth
abandon the lies
confess your wrongs
step into every sad song
and just be willing
to make space
for the Way
the Truth
the Life
lux aeterna
will come for you
so be still
and love well

tension

the tension between
my past and my present

the tension between
making earthbound choices
and setting my heart on things above

the tension between
reputation protection
and other-centered living

the tension between
my anger and grace

the tension between
forgiveness and revenge

the tension between
my faith
and loss
and pain
and my restless soul

the tension between
being an image bearer
and my shame

the tension between
my title and my actions

the tension between
crossing the bridge
and playing it safe

the tension between
myself
and myself

the tension between
the darkness and the light
inside this heart of mine
i fall
i soar
take flight
only to stumble
and cry for healing
and why is it feeling
like nothing makes sense
at least sometimes
nothing makes sense
for there is a time
for everything
under this radiant sun
time to take a step of faith
He is not done
i’m not at home
so
sometimes
it doesn’t make
sense

oh Lord and Light

like a black sea
stretching out before me
all this mystery
of what is yet to be
all that i cannot see

like a black sky
slowly descending over me
telling shadow stories
all i cannot hide
a dark gray canopy
made up of all my whys

oh Lord and Light
guide me on my way
help me navigate
this story through the night
waiting for the day
longing for all made right
for the unseen real
to replace
what all the senses feel

like a dark wave
swallowing up my soul
all the doubt and shame
why must it
be this way
growing old
is growing close
to a different shore
to so much more
than the sum of my failures
or anything labeled
a success
it’s all just a mess

oh Lord and Light
i’m grateful
that you gave me sight
for this mess
that i call my life
for you carried me
you saw me
you ransomed me
so i’ll follow you
i’ll turn to you
surrender to you
and let you tell me who i am
for you are love
and far above this darkened sky
and far below this blackened sea
your glory and light
your power and might
the Lord and Light
is with me
in me
all around me

the Lord and Light
is with me
in me
all around me