i want to settle
like the setting sun
all the crazy
as i run
through the tears
and disorientation
from the madness
of meditation
on the losses
and the misses
the noises of confusion
settle like the setting sun
into color
and calm
the balm of a song
that reminds me
that though there is wrong
in me and in you
that redemption is true
that beauty resides
in the heart
of life in Christ
for He suffered
He cried
He was angry
and He died
He lamented
and prayed
take this cup away
so sadness
and heartache
anxiety
is a thing
we can bring
to His Cross
to His care
to His suffering
settle
oh my soul
settle
in the stillness
of the Light
of His love
the color
of His grace
the glory
of His kindness
the promise
of a better place
where tears
will never fall again
light will never set
and never end
settle
oh my soul
settle
feel it all
and settle
your Savior knows
He sees
He feels
so don’t push
the mess of life away
let it remind you
a better day
awaits
walk by faith
not by sight
it’s going to be
all right
settle
oh
my
soul
a little older
but none the wiser
at least it feels that way
saying goodbye to this day
i see the light slip away
like the fading memories
that fill my mind
so many
would have
could have
should have moments
that i can’t reach
but they reach me
they teach me
to walk
with heaven in view
it’s okay to be
somewhat new
tired of all the blame
at the end of the shame game
open my eyes to see
the new
you’ve place
in me
so i can rise
above the gravity
and rest
in stillness
the silence
of deliverance
the calming
resonance
of your presence
eternity in me
there is Truth
that doesn’t fade away
a Light
that glows bright
through the day
and through the night
healing
mending
making all things right
like they were meant to be
weightless melodies
singing endless songs
free to sing along
redeemed from all that's wrong
you see i’m finding life
is letting go
of all the why
and it’s okay
to cry
to mourn
to feel
every lament
so i can fly
towards the light
not just a leap of faith
it’s accepting grace
and shining bright
swimming in
eternal light
finding the story
of me
in the Way
the Truth
the Life
Back to Guatemala for this post. My church supports missionary endeavors around the world including, of course, Guatemala. We visited one of my favorite ministries in Guatemala: Manos de Compasion. Located in the Bay of Santiago Atitlan, Manos de Compasion is a childrens’ home. Their number one goal is to minister to abandon, abused, and forgotten children. The views on the journey there are awesome, and the opportunity to have fun with these kids is priceless.
did you ever feel like
you were chasing bubbles
and realize
that all the trouble
you go through
to chase radiant spheres
which refuse to stay near
smiles and giggles
chasing frail bubbles
still chasing something
that looks new
something true
about this life we live
and hurt we feel
about the longing
singing
trying
and dying
chasing bubbles
with a carefree smile
well
for a while
it seems
that i’ll catch one soon
and cradle it in my hands
and see the colors dancing
and swirling across
the crystal globe
maybe the bubble
will fit in my pocket
or i’ll take it home
and keep it safe
pop
it’s gone
in a flash
we’re gone
she’s gone
i wonder if
eternal bubbles exist
i’d like to find one
and follow it
wherever it may lead
perhaps a place
where there are
no troubles
no tears
just light
no fears
and brilliant color
crystal spheres
dancing all around
would like to see a few things stay
the untroubled giggles of a child
a sunset that kaleidoscopes for hours
an embrace that fills my heart with peace
a haunting melody that sinks into my soul
and reminds me that there is love
would like to see a few things stay
the knowing when our eyes connect
the crashing waves and their rhythmic balm
the birdsong soaring through the sad sky
colors leaping from a flower
spilling on my heavy brow
reminding me that there is life
would like to see a few things stay
a tree that shades me from all harm
a crystal river of understanding
shadows stretching through deep green woods
the Light that helps me see the Way
a hand to hold that guides through the pain
reminding me that someone’s there
to share a lonely road
oh stay with me
lover of my soul
let me see
the calm before
i lose myself
nowhere to go
the words of life
spoken long ago
an anchor for
an old old soul
reminding me
that You are here
in the mess
in my tears
reminding me
that
You
are
rest
so in my heart
it’s raining
the stars don’t mind
the sun stays behind
the sad sad showers
just pitter patter
and i just stare
aware of the polyrhythmic percussion
perfectly synchronized
with the confusion
and the emotional concussion
there’s no melody
for this deep blue song
it just reminds me
of all that has gone wrong
we’re still feeling
the falling
living with the distance
the canyon of longing
and sighing
and crying
and dying
looking for morning
for light
for life
and love
for the endless morning
of light
and love
she loved flowers
and it seems
like they loved her too
countless plants
happily shared the rooms
of our home
my mom would call each one
by name
no strange plants in her home
it takes someone special
to see that life thrives
the colorful flowers
the herbs and the spices
the garden outside
was no different
than the garden of our hearts
she tended to each one of us
and we grew in love
and tenderness
because she knew
that all things that are loved
grow and sing and shine
all things loved
grow
and sing
and
shine
did you ever let your mind
wander back and forth
like standing in line
at six flags
you zig and zag
trying to make your way
to a ride of your memories
and all that's inside
some things you wish
you didn’t find
and the questions rise
why did i
why didn’t i
or
just why
sometimes your breath
is taken away
by the pain of yesterdays
and the sorrows of today
i guess living
is embracing
the cloudless sky
and the rain
that ache within
some things
you don't get to do again
sorry i missed so much
on the first try
and i remember love
surrounding me
i can see the gifts
like a mighty tree
of grace and kindness
covering me
with shades of beauty
shadows of heaven
and this sunrise
helps me lift my eyes
and rest
in grateful songs
i’ll remember all the love
surrounding me
i would like to shine bright as a sunny day and shimmer like a jacob collier song but i often find that old pride inside and i stumble and lose my way and it can go so wrong when the shame gets strong and i reach for a new identity no matter how i try i’m never free when i think i don’t need to be me
so i run back home to the lover of my soul it’s an uphill path the lies inside just laugh so i bring to my mind and heart the One who has kept me from the start
oh sing of the treasure of His love for me for you it shimmers and shines
His mercy shimmers and shines the Light of the world lives inside and He always shimmers and shines
sitting with my mom
the years that surround her are so long
she is reflecting and pondering
telling stories and wondering
and this is what she had to say
— all my siblings have passed away
but you can’t cry all the time
you have to laugh
you have to think
love is so simple
and sometimes you
don’t realize it’s there —
and my dad brings her flowers
the hours of another day
slowly pass away
my dear mom
so far from the world she once knew
i’ll try and remember
to let the tears speak
and the laughter sing
and I’ll wonder and ponder
and try to remember
for my remaining days
to see the love before me
and then give it away
rutakintome pictures 
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