sometimes i’m miles from where i want to be can’t shake the shoulda and oughta be and like that tattered book on a dusty shelf i’m back in the story i keep telling myself this time i know it’s gonna change i’ll rearrange my point of view and maybe try something new like trying nothing at all and i’ll just fall upon your grace look in the mirror at this face and let you hold my heart and mind and wait until i find a place where i can rest and play like a zillow treasure a brand new home Lord help me i’m so prone to roam and wander away i wonder if you can help me find my way to the place where i want to be
we take time we use time we waste time we forget the last time we make the most of time we run out of time we forget what time we miss the time we pass through time we lose track of time we look forward to the next time
and time passes and time tests and time takes and time ran out and time is up and time begins and time is past and the time may come and the time may never arrive and it’s about time
tell me there is something that lasts all these moments scurry into the past seconds hours days weeks months years disappear
then
i pause
i wait
i take time to realize
that i need someone
to hold me
so i raise my eyes to the One who made me for in my heart He has placed eternity for in time all things fade and we can’t trade this moment for any other
we have now
the present
to love pray surrender confess worship contemplate
and meditate on the unfailing love of God the enduring grace of God the timeless presence of God the everlasting God
i awaken to the Artist’s colors singing across the sky heavens silently shouting glory fills my eyes and my soul stirs my heart yearns to join this Artist
in surrender i’ll sit at His feet and join Him as we greet all the unknowns of this new day
as fuchsia infused clouds rest in a cobalt sky i pause i lift my eyes to tell the Artist of the deep longings of my soul to be seen to be known and still to be loved to lament to grieve to enter my suffering and still be safe and secure in the One who is above and beside and beneath He does not hide and He will not interfere He is always here He invites beckons whispers gently knocks at the door of my busy life
i must invite Him in and be at peace He is mystery He is Emmanuel see the colors in all creation the beauty and mercy of His salvation the Bread of Life waits at the table for us the Light of the World exposes the darkness it’s merciful pain seeing who i really am i remember that He already knows the Good Shepherd comes to give me rest and peace
on that day we just wanted to go home to be safe in familiar surroundings and in the company of faces that were a part of our story we wanted to kiss our sons and daughters hold our mothers and fathers see their eyes and feel safe
while so many spent that day longing searching crushed by the increasing pressure and certainty that a father was gone a mom may never be found a daughter ran in to rescue others and never returned a son couldn’t get out a group of strangers valiantly fought for life
there were some gifts in the shadows light breaking through the smoke and flames
we saw each other
we beheld the beauty and treasure of…. us we became human we remembered our humanity in a way that brought us face to face with our frailty and brevity and in that moment we turned to love and some of us turned to God to curse Him or to seek His face and pray Kyrie eleison Christe eleison
we knew for a few brief moments that we are here to love we knew that we are here to comfort one another hold each another see each other
now we scroll now we post we can be so unkind to anyone who is different or disagrees with us and the greater sin and distortion is that we justify our rudeness feel pride in our dismissiveness are gleeful when we hit enter and inform the world of wherever truth we think they need to hear it seems we have forgotten our humanity
after 25 years maybe the best way to remember is to never forget that we were created by a loving God that we don’t have as much time as we think that we are all human that we all need love and need to love to remember that our tribe our party our cause might be turning us against our best self and each other
maybe the best way to remember is for the next 25 years we take time to lean in to our frailty to reflect on the brevity of this life to seek God to love our neighbor to be human
Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ – Matthew 22:37-40
i’m on a lost and found table which means of course i know exactly where i am but no one else does
separated from certainty waiting to be recognized next to a gray hoodie and a pink water bottle adorned with barbie stickers and a pair of warby parker sun glasses
it’s funny how much stuff can go unnoticed and is apparently unwanted and how temporary and impossibly thin i can feel
like the shadow of a tree lengthening and diminishing as the sun welcomes the night
after all these years of waking up you realize that life is an apparition we are a mist on this earth
we toil and run sing and work dance and hate love and fret create and scream
and the theme of it all the ostinato beneath this journey is a longing that we know cannot be fulfilled while we are still here
we long to be free from being tethered to the soil and we know that we have been leaving since our story began we just want to stay
so instead of identifying where this longing leads we invest our souls in tiny pursuits expiration dates constrict all of our efforts to be known loved and declared worthy until we find ourselves on the lost and found table
screaming for someone to join our tribe yet afraid of losing our loneliness crying for justice and healing yet ignoring the wounds of our crumbling souls
i will be found
after all the warby parkers were picked up surely someone will will see me
barrenness is an opportunity to be filled is an opportunity to bless someone in need is an opportunity to be emptied of self is an opportunity to confront misplaced desires is an opportunity to know who you are is an opportunity to confess on your knees is an opportunity to find the way the truth and the life is an opportunity to have a reference point in the tumult of your soul is an opportunity to be still in the storm is an opportunity to let silence have its way is an opportunity to let go of this word is an opportunity to surrender your life is an opportunity to shelter beneath the shadow of His wings is an opportunity to gain everything is an opportunity to truly live is an opportunity to find your identity in the uncreated One is an opportunity to truly be alive
moments that make you stop press the brake turn off the engine witness ponder and weep and i must tell you why beholding beauty takes intentionality a decision to fight the pull of gravity the darkness of this world birthed of pride arrogance abides amidst the lies that sound so noble that sound so true but if your eyes are open you will see hidden in the gray light blind leaders with black souls immovable stubbornness meet resistance with persistent songs of hubris and insolence and lives are lost icy parades march on drones scream hearts go pale a son cannot hear his mother's wails and sighs a fatherless girl is forgotten lost in an ocean of why eyes taken from this world never to witness God’s lavish crimson stroke on a blue canvas Lord have mercy help me to remember
This is my Father’s world. O let me ne’er forget That though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet. This is my Father’s world: the battle is not done: Jesus Who died shall be satisfied, And earth and Heav’n be one.*
if the light can reach my soul then why can’t i find my way if the words can pierce my mind then why are there none to say if the room is filled with friends then why am i so alone if i just can’t see the end then where am i to go
if i can sing a melody of fire then why is it cold at night if i can walk along a distant shore then why am i sad and my eyes so dry if i can run into your arms then why is the path so long if i can wander in a field of memories then why do i awake forlorn
fly oh my soul fly the Light has come down for you guiding your searching soul His promises faithful and and true for they will mend and make you whole and remember the never-forsaking God is beside you let His embrace define you
fly oh my soul fly His fire will scatter the night stay on the sorrowful shore and raise your tears to the sky as you open your heart and let go of the why yes it’s narrow and steep so stay on your knees and fly oh my soul fly
time to begin time to restore time to connect time to shout time to be still time to forgive time to ponder time to surrender time to confess time to grieve time to let go time to rage time to diminish time to sing time to receive time to stop time to harvest time to pray time to feel time to part time to give time to run time to open time to kneel time to finish time to conquer time to rest time to be time to plead time to weep time to finish time to love time to hope
we are young we are sparkling newborn souls and our bones ache and our hearts creak and shadows now travel along our optic nerve
eternity beckons and we age only to realize we are beginners and the wisdom collection we keep on our shelf only reminds us of our duplicity and all that is mysterious and unknown within and without
tidal memories ebb and flow within our mind leaving behind empty shells some speaking of beauty and the brightness of life others cracked and shattered souvenirs of the hard road of the painful storms
but we are beginners every day and our God has planted eternity in our hearts endless time is within us it is no wonder we long for lasting peace we search for a deep abiding joy we ache for a love that isn’t tossed by the waves of this tumultuous life
we are bound by time and an immortal presence resides in our hearts
we are shackled to schedules coordinate our calendars while something that is ageless beckons our attention
it seems to me that we could use some time in the mourning house to see how tightly we are tethered to the earth and its own decay and to weep to mourn and wail in order to awaken the Eternal in our hearts to begin a new query into what is real what is lasting what is true
let us be boundless by being present to the undying Light and Love that perpetually shines in us let us be free of these passing moments by surrendering to our Creator God while we walk on the earth we can touch heaven in His redemption and in the grace of His Son we walk on the road while we dance in the skies and await all things new
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