a frosty cold dawn a gray featureless sky feels just like me today there’s a frozen mist sprinkled on the ground it’s a monochrome morning a colorless song that sounds like me today so i guess i’ll take the Christmas tree down
Christmas carols echo in my living room the grandkids laughing wrapping paper tearing meals we were just sharing are now memories and there’s something sad in me at the end of 2023 so i guess i’ll take the Christmas tree down
a quiet end of the season a gentle closing of the year and for no particular reason a tear appears and it’s okay the past three sixty-five well… let’s just say it can be hard to be alive there have been days of good cheer sorrow and struggle too said a final good-bye to mom and then there are the fractures in the family feeling all the anxiety and those whispers of failure just rise amidst an endless ostinato of whys so i guess i’ll take the Christmas tree down
a plastic stained glass window with a little boy in prayer amber crystal beads a shiny red ball from Macy’s a tiny wooden christmas tree a three story ceramic house a quiet Christmas mouse glimmering shimmering sparkling dazzling all are put to rest almost done there’s just one the last ornament
it’s a smiling angel holding a star with colored gems for wings so there i stand with this angel in my hand i can almost hear it sing a song of grace a melody of peace a smiling angel in my hand helps me know i’m in His hand so i hum a tune i can’t remember which one but i remember the fractures and failures are held in His hand too all our fractures all our failures so grateful He holds them grateful He knows them thanks for listening i’m done taking the Christmas tree down
this Christmas may your soul shine as you take time to reflect on God above and love your family and see your story is from His hand of love
for you are here and His Light is near so lay those burdens down this tiny Child is here for you so put away the frowns and rest in His light rest in His peace rest in His joy may you be free and not anxious for you are precious for you are here and His Light is near for you are loved from above He came to be with you
as the winter fire sky gently carries the day away i allow my eyes to drink in the beauty and let the colors fill my mind
a glorious letting go a blazing surrendering to time are there moments in those colors memories in the winter fire sky
take a photo maybe this digital likeness will connect me to the weightless wonder and reflection deeper connection to the Artist’s dazzling affection for creation and all His children
winter fire sky thank you for your singular contribution to ease the longing it’s not a solution or absolution just a nudge a reminder that helps me remember that there is more than all our senses tell us the unseen real the shadows of glory an endless story is whispered in my heart as i say goodby to this winter fire sky
maybe it’s because the way things are i’m longing for what used to be maybe it’s because what used to be is why the way things are
maybe it’s because i’m remembering a world that was gentle and true maybe it’s because what’s gentle and true was forsaken and broken back then too
maybe it’s because we’re lost wandering souls that it seems faith is gone hope and love sailed away maybe it’s because we’ve wandered so far the light seems so dim we don’t know who we are
maybe we can turn and swim upstream awaken and see the Way maybe we can hear the Truth with our ears and Life can return to our poor restless souls let’s surrender right now all we think we know and find His rest and peace for only if we lose our lives in His love and light only then can we rise
pray with me that we will see the world we carry inside mended and healed by the Way the Truth the Life
we got a little brick house in Rockdale the one with the great big tree we know it’s not london or paris and not parsippany
but there’s a real nice park across the street where the slides go on for miles and the girls can climb and laugh on the swings right there in front of our little brick house the one with the great big tree
it’s not rome or breckenridge or schenectady it’s a home for the girls and for you and me here in Rockdale we’ll make memories in our little brick house the one with the great big tree
let me talk about the rain rain rain inside my heart and all those words i thought would build just tore us all part
let me talk about the rain rain rain inside my mind and all the shame and fighting ways and all this wasted time
let me talk about the rain rain rain inside your pain and all your tears all my broken tries we can’t go back again
let me talk about the rain rain rain i threw it all away don’t go the skies inside our lives will clear one day please stay and share this rain
between us darkness now there must be a way through all this muddy ground a story must be here let’s look around and find one who knows maybe it will keep us sheltered from all this rain rain rain
so this new day has come whose will will be done in my heart and mind today
these colors dance and play they call and say there is more to you more to me than this world often will let us see
so many lies so many tries to measure up to just keep up you get tired worn cast down and torn God help me see
i bear Your image strong and true it is ruined stained and needs to be renewed like this new day i will rise and sing with the colors bring a song of praise i will raise my voice and say
thank you for who You are to me thank you for all that makes me me
the dark the light the rest the fight i will listen to these colors sing life up my eyes and enter into Your peace Your grace Your will Your way
my heart and mind are yours today not my way not my will but Yours be done always and in all ways
what will happen
if i let go
stop pretending
i have this
under control
what would happen
if i released
and ceased
from all this
striving
and trying
to make it
all go away
what if
i choose to stay
in the waiting
in the long
and unknown space
called faith
if i fall
will i just
be absorbed
into the fear
and sadness below
or will
He catch me
enfold me
come alongside
and
hold me
still
it feels so safe
right here
i’ve got something
i can do
clinging to
my stubborn pride
not falling
seems
like a good use of time
but He wants
to continue
to write
this story
called
my life
so
i
let
go
and
then………
hope bears the longing
of returning to the home
we’ve never seen
for deep within our hearts
eternity cries
and we see without eyes
our true identity
in Light
in Peace
in endless days
love beyond imagining
like a seed set in our soul
eternity calls us to let go
of little things
where the darkness grows
and desires too small
to carry the weight
of all our sorrow
rise and cause us to fall
we really must die
to the wrong inside
things we see
and all we hide
and live in the unseen
for this world
is not our home
the seed inside
cannot thrive
in the midst of pride
surrendering
we cry
and pray
heal us
break us
shape us
and
lead
us
home
waiting
keeping watch
searching
scanning horizons
i didn’t realize
that i was looking
for you all my life
waiting
for our
once upon a time
to begin
when i saw you
i ran to meet
you on the shore
of our journey
after all these years
i now know
i would choose to wait
and let a thousands tides
come and go
and let the lonely time
pass me by
if it meant
i could be near you
hear you say my name
yes i would
search for you
night and day
and
wait
this voyage called life
a perilous quest
under storms at night
and bright mornings of peace
living out vows
that we said
when we were kids
you’re still choosing to stay
beside me
i’m still choosing to stay
beside you
across all the wild wild seas
that are behind us
we found treasures
a guiding grace
that will lead us
a slower pace
that will ground us
a grateful space
that settles our minds
navigating
these later years
we get to wait
together
love
together
sitting here
with you
waiting here with you
remembering here
with you
we wait
for one day
the journey will end
until then
we get to wait
together
love
together
be
together
and in the waiting
practice staying
come what may
you’re still choosing to stay
beside me
i’m still choosing to stay
beside you
we
wait
rutakintome pictures 
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