still as the tree

all the color will soon fall
and the barren trees will sing
cold and wind snow and ice
will paint the boughs with chilled beauty
as leaves are tossed
and lost are the
dried and cracked memories
of hues and tones
that proudly shouted
i am here

let's welcome winter
when it enters our souls
sometimes what we think is gold
needs to fade
be swept away
in the wind of the Spirit
may we bend and break
let proud color and hues
fall in surrender

self must fade
and give way to the dark
long
nights
He will hold us tight
through the cold
and the questions
and the monochrome feelings

we must stand
still as the tree
and wait for life
to start again
in His time
His way
His truth
His life
will spring
for we wait
and in the waiting
He is present
we wait
He is comfort
He is love
we wait
in
His
love

a prayer

dear Lord
when i am restless
let the tranquility
of your Spirit
the comfort of your word
the light of your love
be my peace
and still my stirring
when i am anxious
let the power
of your grace
the assurance of your sovereignty
the goodness of your will
warm the frozen fear
i feel inside
release the heart shackles
and settle my thoughts
in the river of your presence
when i am triggered
angry
let your mercy
help me remember
how much is broken in me
let your justice
be the end of my longing
let my heart be open
to you and this world
send me
as your loving healing presence
as i receive your love
and your healing
when i am lost
bring me home
when i am so sad
that light seems a memory
and hope a forgotten song
reorient my mind
reset my spirit
help me see
that the suffering is but a moment
that all i long for
awaits in your house
no more tears
no need of light
or sun
no darkness
thank you
my dear Lord
thank you

dear mommy dear daddy

dear mommy
dear daddy
i’m sorry
you’re sad
i want you
to know that
i am
with Peace
i am
at peace

dear mommy
dear daddy
this wasn’t
your fault
i want you
to know that
i am free
of pain

dear mommy
dear daddy
when grieving
gives space
the light
that you gave me
let it shine
in this world
so many
are living
but they’re
not alive
lonely
forgotten
and screaming
inside
it would
make me
so happy
to know
you
are
listening

dear mommy
dear daddy
give others
what you
gave me
love
light
life

dear mommy
dear daddy
if i could just say
this longing
this knowing
it’s not supposed
to be this way
we all know it
we all see it
do you know
what it means
that we all
know this place
that we never
have seen
where all is made right
no darkness only light
where mommies
and daddies
at the end of the day
hug their children
and play
and love
is over all
in all
between all
so let us all pray
Your Kingdom come
Your will be done
on earth
as it is
in heaven

- written with lament, sorrow, love and prayers for those who lost everything and for the community of Uvalde

forever i am yours

there is a river of love
coming down for us
flowing down for us
my Lord

there is a river of hope
reaching out for us
speaking into us
my Lord

i don’t know what to make
of this world anymore
i’m tired of crying
want to see a different shore
i don’t know what to make
of these anxious thoughts
i don’t think i can take
all this pain we’ve wrought
my Lord
here’s my life
here’s my heart

there is a river of peace
oh He’s here for me
oh He’s here for you
my Lord

there is a river of life
washing over us
healing all of us
my Lord

i don’t know what to make
of this world anymore
i’m tired of crying
want to see a different shore
i don’t know what to make
of this sadness inside
just want to be awake
on the other side
my Lord
here’s my life
here’s my heart

there is a river of light
shining in the dark
singing in my heart
my Lord

there is a river of time
forever i am yours
forever i am yours
my Lord

forever i am yours
my Lord

all around me

the last goodbye is coming soon
at least sooner than i every knew
trusting that the Light behind me
will be above me
beneath me
before me
all around me

still walking on this road with you
still leaving shadows behind
don’t want to be swallowed up
by all the wrong
the things i said
the things i’ve done
in Your love
those shadows flee
they are gone
in the Light of Your love

this life is long
and yet we know
the yesterdays are longer still
a line called life
stretches behind me
so i'm making a new yesterday
today

looking before me along the way
faith and hope and love will stay
so let me walk along this road
to the Light
in the Light
this burden is light
with You
behind me
above me
beneath me
before me
inside me
all around
me

all we see

it’s not going to be okay
at least not in the way
we want it to be
okay won’t do today
longing for so much more

it’s not going to be okay
at least not in the way
we want it to be
the sorrow stays
my heart is sure
there is a place
where tears will end
okay then when
will that day be

it’s not going to be okay
at least not in the way
we want it to be
there’s a promise
for you and for me
surrender will be
all on our knees
finally
light will be
all we see

light will be
all we see

let peace fall

i saw and heard the dawn
sing color songs
that danced in my mind
though my eyes saw the beauty
solace i could not find

i wondered what song
was sung by the sky
to other sets of eyes
that wept for peace
shut tight in disbelief

in a land covered
with grievous dawns
unbearable loss
hovers over the streets
like so many tear drops
ever falling
that never drain
the ocean of sorrow
and pain

i pray for new dawns
singing color songs
children dancing
sing along
for joy and light
to fill each soul
and peace
to fall
in stillness
let peace fall
in stillness

oh God have mercy

it’s so hard to see
a gray sadness
has descended
can anything be mended
oh God mave mercy

senseless invasion
the devastation
of so many souls
destruction is all they know
and the children are crying
and the children are weeping
oh God have mercy

it’s so hard to see
a gray numbness
hides the light
can it ever be made right
oh God have mercy

homes are burning
dreams are dying
are we learning
anything at all
one heart of hate
is all it takes
to steal the joy
from men and boys

it’s so hard to see
a gray weight
seems to crush my heart
to see these lives
torn apart
oh God have mercy

mothers and daughters
witness the slaughter
heads bow heavy
in hands of anguish
and the children are crying
and the children are weeping
history is here again
oh God
please God
have mercy

just be

o eternal
Light of the world
i need Your peace
it's so stormy
in my soul
and there's trouble
in the world
let me find peace
in You

o eternal
Light of the world
come fill my mind
with gentle whispers
from your Word
all the truth
i think i know
i surrender
i need to see
and i want to rest
just rest
in You

o eternal
Light of the world
thank You
for the
quiet morning river song
thank You
for dancing colors
and of course
thank You
for a little tugboat
help me to
swim upstream today
in Your love
in Your peace
i'm still trying to do
when all You desire
is for me
to be
just
be
in
You