in the stillness a silent language of colors calls to me darkness surrenders shadows succumb to nascent possibilities
birds soar and dance swimming in the prisms passing through the hues while the morning sings praises and a mirror river as deep as the sky beckons me to soar and fly or wade through the clouds and make a path to the sun to join the morning song to rest in the peace to release the tethers in my soul that i have buried in this sorrowful clay
tired of carrying these burdens i let them slip into the current i wait and trust and dare not close my eyes as the metamorphosis unfolds colors and light call to me nearly breathless i attune my ears to the passing moments the silent language speaks He is here and i am His
we take time we use time we waste time we forget the last time we make the most of time we run out of time we forget what time we miss the time we pass through time we lose track of time we look forward to the next time
and time passes and time tests and time takes and time ran out and time is up and time begins and time is past and the time may come and the time may never arrive and it’s about time
tell me there is something that lasts all these moments scurry into the past seconds hours days weeks months years disappear
then
i pause
i wait
i take time to realize
that i need someone
to hold me
so i raise my eyes to the One who made me for in my heart He has placed eternity for in time all things fade and we can’t trade this moment for any other
we have now
the present
to love pray surrender confess worship contemplate
and meditate on the unfailing love of God the enduring grace of God the timeless presence of God the everlasting God
i awaken to the Artist’s colors singing across the sky heavens silently shouting glory fills my eyes and my soul stirs my heart yearns to join this Artist
in surrender i’ll sit at His feet and join Him as we greet all the unknowns of this new day
as fuchsia infused clouds rest in a cobalt sky i pause i lift my eyes to tell the Artist of the deep longings of my soul to be seen to be known and still to be loved to lament to grieve to enter my suffering and still be safe and secure in the One who is above and beside and beneath He does not hide and He will not interfere He is always here He invites beckons whispers gently knocks at the door of my busy life
i must invite Him in and be at peace He is mystery He is Emmanuel see the colors in all creation the beauty and mercy of His salvation the Bread of Life waits at the table for us the Light of the World exposes the darkness it’s merciful pain seeing who i really am i remember that He already knows the Good Shepherd comes to give me rest and peace
i’m on a lost and found table which means of course i know exactly where i am but no one else does
separated from certainty waiting to be recognized next to a gray hoodie and a pink water bottle adorned with barbie stickers and a pair of warby parker sun glasses
it’s funny how much stuff can go unnoticed and is apparently unwanted and how temporary and impossibly thin i can feel
like the shadow of a tree lengthening and diminishing as the sun welcomes the night
after all these years of waking up you realize that life is an apparition we are a mist on this earth
we toil and run sing and work dance and hate love and fret create and scream
and the theme of it all the ostinato beneath this journey is a longing that we know cannot be fulfilled while we are still here
we long to be free from being tethered to the soil and we know that we have been leaving since our story began we just want to stay
so instead of identifying where this longing leads we invest our souls in tiny pursuits expiration dates constrict all of our efforts to be known loved and declared worthy until we find ourselves on the lost and found table
screaming for someone to join our tribe yet afraid of losing our loneliness crying for justice and healing yet ignoring the wounds of our crumbling souls
i will be found
after all the warby parkers were picked up surely someone will will see me
moments that make you stop press the brake turn off the engine witness ponder and weep and i must tell you why beholding beauty takes intentionality a decision to fight the pull of gravity the darkness of this world birthed of pride arrogance abides amidst the lies that sound so noble that sound so true but if your eyes are open you will see hidden in the gray light blind leaders with black souls immovable stubbornness meet resistance with persistent songs of hubris and insolence and lives are lost icy parades march on drones scream hearts go pale a son cannot hear his mother's wails and sighs a fatherless girl is forgotten lost in an ocean of why eyes taken from this world never to witness God’s lavish crimson stroke on a blue canvas Lord have mercy help me to remember
This is my Father’s world. O let me ne’er forget That though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet. This is my Father’s world: the battle is not done: Jesus Who died shall be satisfied, And earth and Heav’n be one.*
if the light can reach my soul then why can’t i find my way if the words can pierce my mind then why are there none to say if the room is filled with friends then why am i so alone if i just can’t see the end then where am i to go
if i can sing a melody of fire then why is it cold at night if i can walk along a distant shore then why am i sad and my eyes so dry if i can run into your arms then why is the path so long if i can wander in a field of memories then why do i awake forlorn
fly oh my soul fly the Light has come down for you guiding your searching soul His promises faithful and and true for they will mend and make you whole and remember the never-forsaking God is beside you let His embrace define you
fly oh my soul fly His fire will scatter the night stay on the sorrowful shore and raise your tears to the sky as you open your heart and let go of the why yes it’s narrow and steep so stay on your knees and fly oh my soul fly
time to begin time to restore time to connect time to shout time to be still time to forgive time to ponder time to surrender time to confess time to grieve time to let go time to rage time to diminish time to sing time to receive time to stop time to harvest time to pray time to feel time to part time to give time to run time to open time to kneel time to finish time to conquer time to rest time to be time to plead time to weep time to finish time to love time to hope
every moment is in the past every experience dissolves into a memory as soon as a moment in time arrives it retreats into yesterday the crimson and deep blue sea colors of a sunrise merge with a new day and they quietly disappear after loudly announcing the gift of a new day a photograph tries to stretch the brevity of the moment
but it remains powerless to make the moment last it only amplifies the memory which in turn makes the moment more elusive it only brings to our consciousness that the moment has slipped away and continues to slip away beyond our reach it only represents the beauty and majesty of the Creator and brings us face to face with this mysterious transient thing that we call life which i think is why an old stoic and wise man once said
It is better to go to a home where there is mourning than to one where there is a party, because the living should always remind themselves that death is waiting for us all. Sorrow is better than laughter; it may sadden your face, but it sharpens your understanding. Someone who is always thinking about happiness is a fool. A wise person thinks about death. *
a bit dark
i suppose
but also true
pondering impermanence stills our striving for things that do not last heals our hearts of passions that never satisfy pauses our pride in who we think we are
so i will welcome the loud colors let the moments slip away even as i too am slipping away following the crimson and deep blue colors pondering the promises of a heavenly voice
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. **
like trying to hold the sands of the shore moments slipping away swallowed by tide and time like jumping high to swing from the clouds only to fall through the sky i tried to keep a moment or two
like a sunset over a soybean field or at the end of the road or a monochrome lighthouse showing the way to giant icicles on climbing day or two little girls on a summer swing with nana in the middle all is well or a grand city that rises and falls while a grand old bridge anchors it all or our two sons walking by the river or coffee starlings dancing in the air safe from the wind farm or the fire in the sky above a river flowing like time through fields and towns and seasons and lives until it joins the the moments in the sea and sand that still are slipping through my hands
when was the last time you walked across the noise in your life and journeyed into the depth of you
when was the last time you just were still and present to your soul your longing your sorrow your joy your hope your anxiety your darkness
when was the last time you closed your eyes and settled into your spirit named the pain let the tears carry away the sorrow
when was the last time you heard your voice when it tore down another soul did it leave you broken did it stab your heart
when was the last time you surrendered you admitted your limits faced your shadows let pride fall away in humility
when was the last time you said thank you i love you i was wrong please forgive me i need help
when was the last time you leaned into your ordinariness you opened your heart to your strengths and weaknesses you listened to feedback you didn’t defend yourself
when was the last time you were you not as you think you are but listened to others and how they experience you
you are an ocean a vast sea of dreams of loss laughter weeping of love fear perseverance sin of cowardice strength power kindness of impotence clarity valor uncertainty and so much more
you are human created by God loved by God seek Him rest in Him receive His love live in His grace receive His forgiveness be alive in Him He knows full well you are human
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