Author: rutakintome

I married Ruth, my high school sweetheart, in 1983 and we have four children and 6 grandchildren. I have been the worship pastor at Mission Bible Church since 2004. We are located in Minooka, a southwest suburb of Chicago. I love singing, bicycling, music, Mahler, boxing, coffee, movies, The Beatles, sunsets, coffee, Mahler, the seashore, sunsets at the seashore, coffee, and… the seashore. Originally from New York, I grew up 15 minutes from the beautiful beaches of southern Long Island. I have a Fujifilm X-T5 that I use to capture the world I see. I also enjoy writing about the images that surface in my mind and heart as I work with the images from my camera. Thanks for stopping by!

mom

My mom passed away. She was 97. My mom and dad were married for 64 years. She has left a legacy of love… a rich, tender love, freely shared with family, friends and the stranger.

remember all the love

did you ever let your mind
wander back and forth
like standing in line
at six flags
you zig and zag
trying to make your way
to a ride of your memories
and all that's inside
some things you wish
you didn’t find
and the questions rise
why did i
why didn’t i
or
just why

sometimes your breath
is taken away
by the pain of yesterdays
and the sorrows of today
i guess living
is embracing
the cloudless sky
and the rain
that ache within
some things
you don't get to do again
sorry i missed so much
on the first try

and i remember love
surrounding me
i can see the gifts
like a mighty tree
of grace and kindness
covering me
with shades of beauty
shadows of heaven
and this sunrise
helps me lift my eyes
and rest
in grateful songs
i’ll remember all the love
surrounding me

shimmers and shines

i would like to shine
bright as a sunny day
and shimmer
like a jacob collier song
but i often find 
that old pride inside
and i stumble and lose my way
and it can go so wrong
when the shame gets strong
and i reach for a new identity
no matter how i try
i’m never free
when i think i don’t need
to be me

so i run back home
to the lover of my soul
it’s an uphill path
the lies inside
just laugh
so i bring to my mind
and heart
the One who has kept me
from the start

oh sing of the treasure
of His love
for me
for you
it shimmers
and shines

His mercy
shimmers
and shines
the Light of the world
lives inside
and He
always
shimmers
and shines

you can’t cry all the time

sitting with my mom
the years that surround her are so long
she is reflecting and pondering
telling stories and wondering
and this is what she had to say

— all my siblings have passed away
but you can’t cry all the time
you have to laugh
you have to think
love is so simple
and sometimes you
don’t realize it’s there —

and my dad brings her flowers
the hours of another day
slowly pass away
my dear mom
so far from the world she once knew
i’ll try and remember
to let the tears speak
and the laughter sing
and I’ll wonder and ponder
and try to remember
for my remaining days
to see the love before me
and then give it away

much more silence

hello sunrise
it’s so nice to find
you here
you’ve been on my mind
it feels like
such a long long time
and i’m kinda down
can you stay a while
and listen to this song
it’s not like everything’s wrong
but some dreams are gone
some tears are here to stay
a little older now
how will i find my way
the world is spinning too fast
looking for things that last

i am learning how
they can only be found
in the slowing down
and holy wondering
speaking less
much more silence
reflection
connection
surrender
and union
with my Maker
hello sunrise
such a nice surprise
sing along with me
i’m choosing to be free
detached to all
that pulls me down
standing tall
on my knees
please
Light of the world
oh please
help
me
see

the star maker knows

where is the solace
when life only brings darkness
an achromatic sunrise
unable to chase shadows
a sunset that never leaves

where is the gentle breeze
when life storms around and within
can’t breathe the rain soaked air
while i try to put on a smile
the pulse rate of my soul diminished

where are the hands
cradling a countenance
when the lonely tears
are seeking an embrace
standing in the middle of the universe
i guess the view is nice
but no one is there
to share the stars

i’ve heard it said
there is a place
where melodies and harmonies
take flight
like lullabies that never say goodnight
music you can taste
and hold in hand
or pull towards your heart
music that covers you
with a blanket of love and grace
the softest peace
a delicate abyss of joy

so i run to this place
in the darkness and the storm
i lift up my eyes
when it feels i can’t breathe
i fall into faith
when the tears want to stay
i tell my story
and let the music fill in the gaps
the star maker knows
each page of sorrow
each gaze of wonder
the calming comfort of trust
if i’m in the
pain of the valley
or the delight of the clouds
the star maker
knows
my
name
he knows my now
and my yesterdays
my what is to come

i breathe in timeless hope
i fall into
a vast fissure of love and rest

another valley is near
but
He
is
nearer

a lament or two

so jeremiah joe
have you got a sec
you know
i was wondering today
what you would have to say
about all that’s going on
you see it seems
it's all gone wrong
so on this cloudy morning
i’m tired deep inside
of all the crying and the mourning
does someone hear the lonely prayers
who will hold all the cares
of this dangerous time
this great big world
don’t laugh
i know
that you’re just
a cup of joe
a lament
or two
is time well spent
it’s true
that it’s just a little prayer
to the God who's really there
faith and hope and love
came down from above
He knows all my whys
and all the sighs
that fall from my soul
even when my tears are dry
i remember He’s alive
so i’ll take another sip
whisper words to Him
and rest
thank for listening
see ya later
jeremiah joe

morning treasures

another morning at the gym
felt good to get the workout in
good to move and feel alive
but then again
there's the stuff inside
this heart of mine
that needs to be revived
to beauty
wonder
peace be still
quiet surrender
and some delight
and some letting go
of my will
i really could use the shore
but who really needs the shore
i take that back
i guess i do
but having said that
i looked for
morning treasures
and this is
what
i
found

i found
a joy to the world star
shining in my garage
and tons of diamonds
in my backyard

it seems that
someone spilled
a bunch of green
and i don't really care
it's new life
it's spring
the winter has passed
the hollow spaces
between all branches
like the hollow caverns in my soul
will be filled with green
and red
and white
and iris purple life
and also
i happened to find
harry's pianese snitch
does that mean i win
i'm thinking yes

and then i saw
black diamonds
on the rear window
of the sedan
they're glistening
as they reflect
the light
i'm listening
and in my heart
all seems right
as i treasure
these delights
i'm open
to
the
Way

the
Truth

the
Life

new york retreat part 2

In my previous post I indicated that we (my wife and I) were attending a spiritual retreat in the Chelsea neighborhood of New York City. After our last session today we were encouraged to experience delight. We decided to walk to the Chelsea Market, then walked the High Line to the Hudson Yards. These images are just a glimpse into an evening of delighting in New York City!