a misty morning
a cup of joe
a reader's digest prayer
i gotta go
still doing
...something
still going
...somewhere
all this thinking
has got me
...swirling
...sinking
...unfurled
before unexamined winds
wait
i tell myself
to take it slow
to ponder
to wonder
do i know
who i am
am i present
in this moment
i'll choose being
let the doing go
and remember
to stay in
in the midst
of a misty
morning
and just
listen
to the music
of the stillness
i'll sing along
a wordless song
entering this
eternal moment
letting go
of shadows
as the light
rises in my soul
who knows
where this moment
will lead
if i listen
and trust
if i surrender
all that i think
i must do
and live in the light
and stay
right here
then maybe
i'll be
free
from the shadows
of doing
and going
i want to meet
my true self
and
just be
me
Back to Guatemala for this post. My church supports missionary endeavors around the world including, of course, Guatemala. We visited one of my favorite ministries in Guatemala: Manos de Compasion. Located in the Bay of Santiago Atitlan, Manos de Compasion is a childrens’ home. Their number one goal is to minister to abandon, abused, and forgotten children. The views on the journey there are awesome, and the opportunity to have fun with these kids is priceless.
did you ever feel like
you were chasing bubbles
and realize
that all the trouble
you go through
to chase radiant spheres
which refuse to stay near
smiles and giggles
chasing frail bubbles
still chasing something
that looks new
something true
about this life we live
and hurt we feel
about the longing
singing
trying
and dying
chasing bubbles
with a carefree smile
well
for a while
it seems
that i’ll catch one soon
and cradle it in my hands
and see the colors dancing
and swirling across
the crystal globe
maybe the bubble
will fit in my pocket
or i’ll take it home
and keep it safe
pop
it’s gone
in a flash
we’re gone
she’s gone
i wonder if
eternal bubbles exist
i’d like to find one
and follow it
wherever it may lead
perhaps a place
where there are
no troubles
no tears
just light
no fears
and brilliant color
crystal spheres
dancing all around
My day job is as a pastor in a church that regularly offers short term mission opportunities. Last year I fell in love with the people of Guatemala, so I returned this summer. This post, and the next few, will contain images from our 10 day trip. These are images of the property where we stayed in San Lucas Sacatepéquez, and images of beautiful Nueva Santa Rosa.
words tumble over one another
sleepy smiles
are passed back and forth
wafer topics float in the air
sunny today
i slept well
i didn’t
afternoon rain
an occasional
imperceptible glance
accompanied by a smile
tossed into the corner
of my countenance
yes… i’m here
but i am in a capsule
floating in the silence of a nebula
made of melancholy stars
or maybe a grand old ship
on a vast glassy silent sea
standing at the beckoning bridge
i step into the swirling
tones and textures of this dolor
alone with everyone
present to the tears
that are trying to take a ride
on the deep exhale
i thought i caught them
in the net of my inhale
i’ll welcome this visitor
can’t pretend no one’s there
would rather explore
this mysterious place
if i harden myself
against this wave
i’ll enter a prison
i might not escape
so sailing on this grand old ship
weeping with the stars in space
this visit won’t last too long
like a beautiful sad song
that reminds us
something is terribly wrong
the melody comes to an end
would like to see a few things stay
the untroubled giggles of a child
a sunset that kaleidoscopes for hours
an embrace that fills my heart with peace
a haunting melody that sinks into my soul
and reminds me that there is love
would like to see a few things stay
the knowing when our eyes connect
the crashing waves and their rhythmic balm
the birdsong soaring through the sad sky
colors leaping from a flower
spilling on my heavy brow
reminding me that there is life
would like to see a few things stay
a tree that shades me from all harm
a crystal river of understanding
shadows stretching through deep green woods
the Light that helps me see the Way
a hand to hold that guides through the pain
reminding me that someone’s there
to share a lonely road
oh stay with me
lover of my soul
let me see
the calm before
i lose myself
nowhere to go
the words of life
spoken long ago
an anchor for
an old old soul
reminding me
that You are here
in the mess
in my tears
reminding me
that
You
are
rest
so in my heart
it’s raining
the stars don’t mind
the sun stays behind
the sad sad showers
just pitter patter
and i just stare
aware of the polyrhythmic percussion
perfectly synchronized
with the confusion
and the emotional concussion
there’s no melody
for this deep blue song
it just reminds me
of all that has gone wrong
we’re still feeling
the falling
living with the distance
the canyon of longing
and sighing
and crying
and dying
looking for morning
for light
for life
and love
for the endless morning
of light
and love
i couldn’t see
how this loss
would create in me
so much gravity
i feel like i can't stand
there are heavy hands
on the shoulders
of my heart
a piece is gone
i’m missing a part
i sit inside my tears
as i play back
the years
the memories
i can find
in my mind
as i watch them
sail away
on a starless sea
she’s just gone
there is no song
to rend sadness
i don’t feel like
i can welcome gladness
the weight
i can’t put it down
or shake it off
deep inside
and all around
the weight
of loss
i couldn’t see
what this
would do
in me
she loved flowers
and it seems
like they loved her too
countless plants
happily shared the rooms
of our home
my mom would call each one
by name
no strange plants in her home
it takes someone special
to see that life thrives
the colorful flowers
the herbs and the spices
the garden outside
was no different
than the garden of our hearts
she tended to each one of us
and we grew in love
and tenderness
because she knew
that all things that are loved
grow and sing and shine
all things loved
grow
and sing
and
shine
My mom passed away. She was 97. My mom and dad were married for 64 years. She has left a legacy of love… a rich, tender love, freely shared with family, friends and the stranger.
rutakintome pictures 
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