if a person’s heart breaks into pieces and gets lost is the dark abyss of depression and grief and no one is there what will that heart believe about the world and those who say i’m your family your friend
if a mind is fractured scattered shattered and full of noise and no one is there to listen to be close to wait as long as the storm lasts until the light breaks the night what will that mind understand what will that mind believe about people about this world
if a person is at the edge their heads so heavy in their hands their pulse impossibly accelerated their body rigid and tense every muscle screaming
stop
and no one is there to hold them hear them believe them what then ________________________
May is Mental Health Awareness month, at least here in the States. Do you need help? You are not alone. I don't want you to go another minute without assistance and encouragement. Contact a local counseling professional, a pastor, or feel free to contact me on the left side of my blog.
I grew up enjoying Eisenhower Park, near my home town of East Meadow. This park is larger than Central Park in New York City. I have wonderful memories of family picnics, winter sledding (my two brothers on top of my dad zooming down a steep hill), the amazing July 4th fireworks, and so much more. On my recent trip back home I once again headed to the park to enjoy a nice long walk. I was stunned to see this massive stadium being built! It is being built for the 2024 ICC Men’s T20 World Cup. The entire work area is fenced off, so this is the best I could do at 5′ 7″! Thanks for stopping by.
i’ll try and tell you why this endless sea and sky brings to me a sense of grace it’s a calming space memories of family my little legs running away from the waves or dancing above the hot sand shivering in the Atlantic cold maybe i’ll be bold and just jump right in and swim on the crest of this swell crashing down now in a swirl of briny sand tossed and thrown upon the shore i always got up and ran in for more i remember dad first taking my hand then lifting me in his arms as he marched into the sea delighted and frightened it’s all right i’ll hold on tight the waves don’t seem to bother him at all and if i stood still at the edge of the arriving and departing ocean i thought it was neat that the sand would steal my feet could it just swallow all of me into the salted sea it tasted so good to me the roar and crashing waves were like a melody and at the end of the day the world felt okay it was so good to be with family by the endless sky and sea
a slow meandering upon the ancient sands the sea reminding me how small i truly am and that’s totally okay
much more behind me than before me a few less steps remain the waves will sing long after my last breath
sometimes i just want to stop and join the clouds and sea just melt into the horizonless dance and stay listen and pray it can all feel so weary
still i journey on back to go forward reaching into the ocean of stories looking for that perfect shell listening for all is well remembering the glory still to come
yesterdays just fly away even memories are fading is anyone staying we are alone ever together with our life and with others we are alone
new life still all this strife new opportunity same entropy new start still in bed new attitude still no gratitude new insights still trying to fight new word still not listening new day same old ways new light still seeking shadows new colors same monochromatic soul new gifts same folded arms
for you
on this day
right now
new grace
boundless love
endless mercy
a Cross to bear
with an everlasting Companion
unmerited forgiveness
an endless sunrise
can be yours
receive
be centered
through surrender
be free
through confession
be at rest
through acceptance
come home
it is finished lay down your shame take up your hope lift up your head receive your identity and rise
I still haven’t figure out why I find these wind farms so fascinating, but, that’s okay… it’s enough just to share the end of the day with some wind turbines. Thanks for stopping by.
opened your eyes got out of bed but are you awakened exercised a protein drink from the blender but did you remember to feed your soul to workout the stuff in your heart that you took to bed last night
the morning routine out the door traffic and weather report looks grim you steel your mind and shut the door telling yourself that you are fine another sip of coffee but did you remember to feel something that you know is there to understand yourself just a little bit more being and doing doing and being
more you and i know there is more than the deadline more than all this activity did we lose ourselves more likely we numb ourselves away from pain and disorientation keep the radio on get busy and fill the schedule it’s helps to drown out the noise of all that’s in my head maybe i should have stayed in bed
put the keys on the counter there’s nothing in the fridge it was a good day at the office on the worksite on my shift i think i impressed… someone… anyway i suppose it was just another day there’s something still inside… wait…
why am i crying...
i must be tired or a bit confused maybe a drink will clear out my head hulu and netflix aren’t helping tonight how long have i been staring at this parade of options
was i crying tonight
maybe it was the traffic it was a long day i think i’ll go to bed and try again tomorrow to shake this restless sorrow being doing doing being am i living am i awakened
every now and then a little boy walks into the room he was already here he has never left i just acknowledge his presence
he sits and listens i share memories questions doubts fears longings words of comfort and remorse
i sit and listen as he shares stories wishes sorrows giggles secrets tears attempts to speak all that was real
our meeting is as a key to a lock slowly arranging tumblers a click or two closer to opening a box filled with light opening a chamber of forgiveness opening a door that has been tightly shut for too long diminishing the shadows and obscurity of what it means to be
sometimes we just gaze into each other and see our soul our converging wanderings and there is calm peace between us inside us not because all the mysteries were explained more because across our times we met found solace and remembered who we are who we are not what to grasp and what to set free
i know it’s been a long sad sad song and it seems like winter will go on and on i’ll stay here with you in the cold in the dark until we see the new
and in this shadow of death i’ll stay by your side and if it seems that spring is all around but it's not in you a colorless world endures i’ll sit with you cry with you listen to all your angry words until the shadows fall and the flowers return
so if for you this day brings sorrow upon sorrow just another monochrome morning let’s find Him together and believe together that on this steep and narrow road there is tomorrow
and when you cry i won’t ask why and if you ask me how long you’ll be in this sad sad song i could tell you but i’d probably be wrong but i promise I’ll stay and in the dirt and in the dark and in the cold and in this timeless pain we will find new life together
rutakintome pictures 
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