much more silence

hello sunrise
it’s so nice to find
you here
you’ve been on my mind
it feels like
such a long long time
and i’m kinda down
can you stay a while
and listen to this song
it’s not like everything’s wrong
but some dreams are gone
some tears are here to stay
a little older now
how will i find my way
the world is spinning too fast
looking for things that last
i am learning how
they can only be found
in the slowing down
and holy wondering
speaking less
much more silence
reflection
connection
surrender
and union
with my Maker
hello sunrise
such a nice surprise
sing along with me
i’m choosing to be free
detached to all
that pulls me down
standing tall
on my knees
please
Light of the world
oh please
help
me
see

the star maker knows

where is the solace
when life only brings darkness
an achromatic sunrise
unable to chase shadows
a sunset that never leaves

where is the gentle breeze
when life storms around and within
can’t breathe the rain soaked air
while i try to put on a smile
the pulse rate of my soul diminished

where are the hands
cradling a countenance
when the lonely tears
are seeking an embrace
standing in the middle of the universe
i guess the view is nice
but no one is there
to share the stars

i’ve heard it said
there is a place
where melodies and harmonies
take flight
like lullabies that never say goodnight
music you can taste
and hold in hand
or pull towards your heart
music that covers you
with a blanket of love and grace
the softest peace
a delicate abyss of joy

so i run to this place
in the darkness and the storm
i lift up my eyes
when it feels i can’t breathe
i fall into faith
when the tears want to stay
i tell my story
and let the music fill in the gaps
the star maker knows
each page of sorrow
each gaze of wonder
the calming comfort of trust
if i’m in the
pain of the valley
or the delight of the clouds
the star maker
knows
my
name
he knows my now
and my yesterdays
my what is to come

i breathe in timeless hope
i fall into
a vast fissure of love and rest

another valley is near
but
He
is
nearer

let’s chase Light

it's not that the light has surrendered
or darkness has won
it's not that the day is done
or the night has begun

it's the rhythm of all things
the spinning and turning
the inhaling and exhaling
the rising and setting

it's the beauty
that accompanies
all that is held together
the colors that connect your soul
to the Artist of infinite insight
to the Artist who created colors
colors so exquisitely subtle
shades and hues
as countless as the sand on the shore

it's the clouds
and their random patterns
their playful textures
it's the breathless moment
when our eyes are transfixed
when we are able
to analyze and explain
and yet have no understanding

when our minds
our hearts
finally see something greater
we intuit the real
and that place of longing awakens
for love that lasts
for peace that endures
for hope fulfilled
for faith that comforts

let's chase Light
embrace the colors
take the long narrow way
of other-centered living
and loving
and seek
the Artist
of
our
souls

alive in me

not sure that i'm ok
doesn't matter anyway
it's just another day
feeling like i lost my way
running here and running there
things to do
but i just don't care

got a few more likes
is this real life
a venti latte if you please
is anyone else ill at ease

i wonder if i scream
will i wake up from this dream
and feel again
and breathe again

the preacher said that He's alive
oh God i really hope that's true
i guess i want to be made new
all the old is just so hard
learn stuff
get stuff
and find a cause

i know i want to be set free
would really love to be just me

Jesus did you rise that high
higher than my shame inside
cause if you did please hear my cry
something has to change inside

confession is so hard for me
Jesus here is the real me
help me rise and live again
help me please i'm on my knees
dear God please rise
dear Jesus come alive
in me

rise

is there a sunrise
in all that is setting in me
will all the shadows
in this blackhole
that is me
finally flee

o rise
great Light of mine
please rise
i’m overwhelmed inside
so rise
great Light of mine
please rise
i don’t know
where to go
so
great Light of mine
rise

i keep leaving
the same place
i’ve been here before
i surrender again
remember again
the story of me
is yours

o rise
great Light of mine
please rise
won’t you
hear my cries
and rise
please still
my wandering heart
start something new inside
great Light of mine
rise

there’s a
never ending dawn
i long to see
i’ll cast aside
these anchors
finally free
i’ll be
just the me
you always dreamed
for me
and
just

rest

so rise
great Light of mine
please rise
i’ve got another
step to take
i can’t bear
all the weight
but i choose
to wait
for you
great Light
of mine
please
rise

clouds

so i might as well
write about the clouds today
lately more than a few
have come my way
but
hey
why do i think
that it has to
always go
my way

clouds
gray
lately they seem to stay
these uninvited guests
well
even when i try my best
to pretend
they just won't rest
until tears reappear
tearing through
my gray
gray
mind
oh i wonder if
i will ever find
a way
through
all the clouds
and all
the
gray

oh cardinal
is there a prayer for me
wrapped up 
in all your music
and melody
through the gray
the notes they fly
to find the light
they tell my soul
that it’s okay
to take a stroll
through
all the clouds
and all
the
gray
and just stay
wait
and
pray

mysterious love

uncertainty
disorientation
a gray shadow
blankets the light
confusion
an opaque spirit
descends in my mind
and tries to dislodge
hope from my soul
it nearly succeeds

turn to the left
turn to the right
turn around
move
stay still
speak
remain silent
try
surrender
everything matters
and nothing does
i can’t focus
on the next step
what kind of morning
is this
what kind of dawn
haunts me

i think i’ll wait
i choose to listen
my Maker is near
and He whispers
through the diffused
shadows of my fear
He sings through
the longing in my tears
and in this moment
nothing has changed
the struggle remains
so i yield to this moment
and trust
in His mysterious
love

o sunset sky

o sunset sky
i wonder if you cry
as you say goodbye
to all this day
has left behind
o sunset sky
would you stay with me
and cry
my sunset sky
o sunset sky
what do you see
as darkness falls
around me
this pain and loss
and mystery
i cannot see
what lies before me
o sunset sky
won’t you cry for me
o sunset sky
i know you try
to make smile
all that fire in the sky
it leaps so high
and fills my world
with colors
and beauty
and wonder
and that ache
in my heart
just starts
again
so goodbye
my sunset sky
goodbye