this surprise quiz called life

it feels like
it’s just out of my reach
just beyond my grasp
like a black and white ocean
through sad glass

the swells and sighs of the sea
capture my gaze
for a moment
time is as endless
as the white caps on the waves
that parade across the horizon

the answers
to the unspoken questions
on this surprise quiz called life 
the sadness that always
seems to rise inside
failure songs
refrains of shame
all that i don’t know or see
of the ocean depths in me

oh spirit swept waves of grace
drown me in your peace
let my countenance be raised
my fear assuaged
my longing engaged
in the rapture
of your ways
i surrender
to your ways

a prayer

dear Lord
when i am restless
let the tranquility
of your Spirit
the comfort of your word
the light of your love
be my peace
and still my stirring
when i am anxious
let the power
of your grace
the assurance of your sovereignty
the goodness of your will
warm the frozen fear
i feel inside
release the heart shackles
and settle my thoughts
in the river of your presence
when i am triggered
let your mercy
help me remember
how much is broken in me
let your justice
be the end of my longing
let my heart be open
to you and this world
send me
as your loving healing presence
as i receive your love
and your healing
when i am lost
bring me home
when i am so sad
that light seems a memory
and hope a forgotten song
reorient my mind
reset my spirit
help me see
that the suffering is but a moment
that all i long for
awaits in your house
no more tears
no need of light
or sun
no darkness
thank you
my dear Lord
thank you


so i thought
i don’t know
that somehow
we would be different

so i thought
you and i
would be that story
that others
would love to tell

we just
seem to
stay in one place
you blame me
i blame you
standing in the pain
with you
brings no light

we said
i do
we said
i’ll stay
come pain
or joy
in loss
in light
we’re in
the wrong

so i thought
so let’s just
into each other eyes
take each other’s hand
and gently remember

i do
the vows
forgive me





all around me

the last goodbye is coming soon
at least sooner than i every knew
trusting that the Light behind me
will be above me
beneath me
before me
all around me

still walking on this road with you
still leaving shadows behind
don’t want to be swallowed up
by all the wrong
the things i said
the things i’ve done
in Your love
those shadows flee
they are gone
in the Light of Your love

this life is long
and yet we know
the yesterdays are longer still
a line called life
stretches behind me
so i'm making a new yesterday

looking before me along the way
faith and hope and love will stay
so let me walk along this road
to the Light
in the Light
this burden is light
with You
behind me
above me
beneath me
before me
inside me
all around


how can we still be
missing so much beauty
our brother
our sister
all the treasures
of the world
right beside you
right beside me

how can we still be
hurting each other
oh can't you see
the glorious ruin
for that is who we are
who we all are
and we cry
for love
just to be loved

oh God
open our eyes
to your presence
image bearers
all around us
and let us
the treasures we see
and let
this love
start in me

how can we still be
let your words
embrace the sorrow
let your words
heal the pain

be present
the treasures

oh God

lift up your eyes

lift up your eyes
oh weary one
and let His love
clothe the lies
mend the wounds
and sing over you

lift up your eyes
oh sacred soul
you matter more
than anyone knows
let His grace
lift your head
you bear His image
be at peace
be at peace

lift up your eyes
oh shame filled one
and let His presence
surround the sorrow
all the monochrome
guilt and shame
will be restored
in the color
of His deliverance
in the brilliance
of His countenance
in the suffering
of His love

lift up your eyes
be at peace
and rest

be at peace
and rest


do you know your worth
do you see your value
do you know you are highly favored

do you have hope
do you have peace
do you

what is your why
did you rise with the light
has the light dimmed inside

angry again
did you let it go
will you finally forgive

do you know your worth
do you see your value
do you know you are highly favored

does fear guide you
is unrest your norm
what do you worship

and what of love
did you lock up your heart
is love pain free

what makes your cry
where does the sorrow come from
do you feel

do you know your worth
do you see your value
do you know you are highly favored

are you free
are you waiting
are you remembering

where do you look
where is your comfort
where is your healing

how are you doing

is there color in your step
a reason to see a new day
something to live and die for

do you know your worth
do you see your value
do you know you are highly favored

every whisper

the doctors said you were leaving
i don’t see a world without you
time stopped and crashed and just shattered
no God
please not you

so many whispered ‘Our Father…’
pleading grace and mercy for you
He heard all our cries
every whisper
a new story was written for you
undeserving and grateful
we’re still here
and i’m blessed to be loved by you
every breath is a gift
in every joy every sorrow
each moment a fading song
but we sing out loud
into the unknown tomorrow

time may fracture again
so we whisper
our Father in heaven above
may your name be first in our eyes
may your kingdom thrive
in our hearts and lives
may your will be done in our love

while we’re still here
on earth
as it is
in heaven

and He is love

the beautiful sadness of fall
colors singing proudly
before cascading to the earth
creating a carpet
of emerald crimson and lemon
to welcome the solace and solitude of winter

the humility of each season
is the common theme of the songs they sing
each season happily surrenders its beauty
to the charm and grace of the next
and so all creation sings to the Creator

let us do the same
welcome the constant change
that this life brings
and be alive
to all that must die within us
and be willing to surrender
to all that must be reborn
through confession
and the grace and mercy
of our Lord

"Yes, grass withers and flowers fade,
but the word of our God endures forever." *



* Isaiah 40:8