if the light can reach my soul then why can’t i find my way if the words can pierce my mind then why are there none to say if the room is filled with friends then why am i so alone if i just can’t see the end then where am i to go
if i can sing a melody of fire then why is it cold at night if i can walk along a distant shore then why am i sad and my eyes so dry if i can run into your arms then why is the path so long if i can wander in a field of memories then why do i awake forlorn
fly oh my soul fly the Light has come down for you guiding your searching soul His promises faithful and and true for they will mend and make you whole and remember the never-forsaking God is beside you let His embrace define you
fly oh my soul fly His fire will scatter the night stay on the sorrowful shore and raise your tears to the sky as you open your heart and let go of the why yes it’s narrow and steep so stay on your knees and fly oh my soul fly
I know! I married and movie star! (And now, this starlet is not too happy with the way I started this tribute!)
Because my bride, my love, is only a movie star if you measure stardom by the capacity to live your life for others, by the authenticity and safety you give others because you are integrated and at peace with yourself, and by fulfilling your role as mom and Nana with embodied grace and love.
Perfection is not for those who wish to be impactful mothers. It is a messy, imperfect, daunting, perilous journey, filled with detours, fireworks worthy joys and celebrations, hurts, and the work and often difficult commitment to love… selflessly… with abandon… I am so grateful for the grace and love that I see in our kids that came from their mom.
Nana: Thoughtful. Present. Patient. Giving. Ruth makes everyone feel special, seen, welcome, safe… and that’s her with any other adult that is a part of her world.
But for her grand kids… well… turn up the volume and crank the bass all the way up! She is all in. She has a way of making small things special. A ride to school turns into a conversation where she expresses care, love and affirmation. A visit to her office turns into an opportunity for a grand child to partner with Nana and all the important work she does.
There are too many examples to name, but Nana consistently speaks life over these kids. She connects with them in deep levels that are understood between her and each child.
She is a shining star in the hearts of all who know her… especially her beloved grandchildren. I am grateful.
where is heart of the church the part that heals and feels pain and seeks to secure the good of the poor the stranger the unnoticed we pursue innovation but we need renovation of the inside of our soul the content of our heart so we can be a part of redeeming all that fell and all the hell in and around us as well
it is time to rebuild to be still to make a decision of the will to put on the Lord Jesus clothed in grace we move into the world that God so loved that he gave and embrace the stranger welcome the foreigner we face our flaws surrender our rights and set our sights on washing feet extending a hand we stand as ambassadors of the Way and we stay we forgive today we live not for ourselves but for those in need for those who cry and die alone for those who cry without a home
what has gone wrong that we have become a resounding gong we sing all those sunday songs and harbor hate hold a grudge belittle our spouse to name just a few and hide in the house of our pride we mock and scorn an opposing view and then we lock our soul in the rigid soil of i must win and we stew in the cauldron of our sin
Holy Spirit enter into the dark hidden sins for we are clanging cymbals who serve and sing and teach we study read and systematically arrange our grand theology and solve the mysteries give knowledge increase but we are just running from what is the greatest of these we are nothing without love
renovate our mind restore our heart we have made such a mess let us be people of kindness taking our place in rhythms of grace walking talking and loving as if we really believe that he has Risen
open my eyes and let me see the impact of me in the eyes of those i say i love in the face of the stranger in the heart of my friends help me see my flaws help me see my brokenness help me see the fractures and inconsistencies in me that i so readily ignore but call out in others
dear God may the tone of my words carry grace acceptance and peace let my heart be open to know when to engage and when to disengage always with kindness and gentleness and help me love with listening help me love with understanding help me love with an other-centered spirit help me to love as you reveal me to me
am i descending or ascending is this praying or just doing my own thing cradling my heavy head in my tear stained palms i think this time it will be different my life will change my heart will finally be rearranged only to realize that even if my knees were nailed to the earth i stubbornly refuse to bend my will instead i choose to stand in shame is this my heart rising to our Father who art in heaven or am i running stumbling down into myself help me be free let my eyes see and may my ears listen to the sheer silence of your kindness open this heart mend my mind in love mercy and forgiveness i want to rise so help me bow down be still let go and listen to the sheer silence of your kindness
i don't know about you but there is so much i need to say goodbye to i'll welcome the endings practice some surrendering
it's hard to study all the expectations that are now a pile of eliminations i thought this or that would be the life i would have releasing longings into the fiery ending of this day i guess it will be okay
turns out being free is not about me trying to step aside God are you tired of hearing about my pride set is ablaze like the end of this day i'm tired of getting my way
love and hope sin and shadow peace and stillness heartache and sorrow is there a place deep in the marrow of my soul where all the counterpoint of being human is awakened restored and rises whole
saying goodbye to all that tethers me to this dirt i'd rather stiffen my neck than lift up my eyes stand on my own than fall to my knees search me and know my heart let all the parts of me that you see with grace and mercy
sons and brothers brothers and sons may you carry well the love i tried to share with you magnify any wisdom you may have seen or heard please forgive me when you were young i was trying to figure it out too and it still feels like i am beginning
and now you walk together and can see more as you share the path tell each other the story of your movements through this world and through my shadows you may see me as i hoped to be as i was and as i am
know i hold you both the breadth and length of you stories are tucked away in my heart an endless album of images and melodies from the day the music of your tears announced your birth to this moment as you read these words i hold you both in love in honor with pride with joy my sons my dear sons love one another
we sing of a silent night and of a Wonderful Counselor born on a bleak mid-winter of starry skies and angel choirs while rushing here and late again there parties and gatherings there’s so much left on our lists
we want Christmas in our culture but is Christ in our hearts buy now pay later real time tracking replaces real time reflecting pondering the Prince of Peace Immanuel God with us
we wail and cry for the suffering in this world while we pass by the violence we commit against ourselves we stream and binge have another drink or two or we click buy now pushing the pain away hoping this shallow happiness will stay even though we know it’s just a matter of time before that dark cold low presses on our chest so we keep doing maybe later later we will rest
the hope of the world this baby boy born into the icy darkness of our souls is He welcome in the home of your heart
the light of the world born into the chaos that is our pain do we surrender to His invitation filled with grace and truth
for He entered into our suffering He walked this place of sorrows the Creator holds the universe in the palm of his tiny hands
O Jesus little baby boy hold me help me have mercy on me
taking time to just be on this gentle quiet morning by the sea
soothing waves share their melodies as soft hues of morning light fall upon the endless sand and fill my eyes with stilled wonder
i try to look down into the deep of my own heart and feel the sad songs find the gifts of grace stay in anger’s embrace pray for resurrection to race through the turmoil and the pain lift me higher again so i can return to You and in so doing return to me
slowly the luminance of the colors rise across the sky as the colors of love wash over me eternity is in my heart thankful for each crazy part of this thing called life
and i find that i’m choosing to let it all in i stand in the light while i’m feeling the pain that keeps falling like rain on my story again and the clouds crowd my soul so i let it all go carried on whispered prayers with hands pleading lifted in unspoken longings eyes searching for some kind of answer in this darkened light embracing the rain and the clouds and all the unseen running into the light as it reaches all that’s been perhaps a lament or two will see me through the paradox of this impermanent journey a time for everything and everything in time i’ll welcome the longing with singing celebrate the love with understanding that all is fading into unending yesterdays and the clouds crowd my soul so i let it all go and i’ll walk towards the light keep my eyes on things above and choose to love here below and let it all go through trembling whispers of faith until i find my way home with some amazing grace
rutakintome pictures 
You must be logged in to post a comment.