Tag: joy

every moment

every moment is in the past
every experience dissolves into a memory
as soon as a moment in time arrives
it retreats into yesterday
the crimson and deep blue sea colors of a sunrise
merge with a new day
and they quietly disappear
after loudly announcing the gift of a new day
a photograph tries to stretch the brevity of the moment

but it remains powerless to make the moment last
it only amplifies the memory
which in turn makes the moment more elusive
it only brings to our consciousness
that the moment has slipped away
and continues to slip away beyond our reach
it only represents the beauty and majesty of the Creator
and brings us face to face
with this mysterious transient thing that we call life
which i think is why an old stoic and wise man once said

It is better to go to a home where there is mourning than to one where there is a party, because the living should always remind themselves that death is waiting for us all.
Sorrow is better than laughter; it may sadden your face, but it sharpens your understanding. Someone who is always thinking about happiness is a fool. A wise person thinks about death. *

a bit dark

i suppose

but also true

pondering impermanence
stills our striving for things that do not last
heals our hearts of passions that never satisfy
pauses our pride in who we think we are

so i will welcome the loud colors
let the moments slip away
even as i too
am slipping away
following the crimson and deep blue colors
pondering the promises
of a heavenly voice

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. **


* Ecclesiastes 7
** Revelation 21

merry christmas

Dear WordPress family: wishing you all a joyful Holiday Season filled with light, love, and peace for you and yours.

table thoughts

This blog has been quiet lately because we sold our home and moved to a new home! The new house is about 8 miles from our old house. We have been talking about downsizing for a few years now and… here we are! Packing up 20 years of living is crazy! We are grateful. Recently someone asked if I miss our old house. My reply, “Not at all.” However, I didn’t expect it to be so hard to say goodbye to our dining table. I helped the family who purchased our table and hutch by dismantling as much of the table as I could. When they took the table top out, the tears suddenly came.

a sturdy table
how many times
did we say grace
a setting
a space
for us just to be… us

conversations
confessions
interactions
admissions
revelations
contrition
a table is set
and becomes the place
where all the weight
of grave and gold
stories are told
and the broken bread
leaves a trail
leading to baby cries
spaghetti on the floor
broken family ties
a spilled drink
someone’s at the door
embraces of grace
birthday candles
graduation cake
love is a messy thing
it’s a long dangerous journey
of faith
hope
and love

homework and coffee
thanksgiving turkey
deep, endless laughter
tears
and the dread of uncertainty
are served alongside
a heap of understanding
conflict and honesty

i was surprised
when the tears
appeared as the table
was hauled away
i wondered
would they take away
the echoes of our conversations
the forgiveness that we found
the acceptance that we gave
the hurt that was served
the pain that was assuaged

it’s  called downsizing
but my tears
are singing
a different tune
my soul is filled
my hearts breaks
somewhere along
the fault line
of gratitude and lament
time to reset
the table of my heart
a place of welcome
peace
family
love

an advent prayer

we sing of a silent night
and of a Wonderful Counselor
born on a bleak mid-winter
of starry skies
and angel choirs
while rushing here
and late again there
parties and gatherings
there’s so much left on our lists
we want Christmas
in our culture
but is Christ in our hearts
buy now pay later
real time tracking
replaces real time reflecting
pondering the Prince of Peace
Immanuel
God
with
us
we wail and cry
for the suffering in this world
while we pass by
the violence we commit
against ourselves
we stream and binge
have another drink or two
or we click
buy now
pushing the pain away
hoping this shallow
happiness will stay
even though we know
it’s just a matter of time
before that dark cold low
presses on our chest
so we keep doing
maybe later
later
we will rest
the hope of the world
this baby boy
born into the icy darkness
of our souls
is He welcome
in the home of your heart
the light of the world
born into the chaos
that is our pain
do we surrender
to His invitation
filled with grace and truth
for He entered into our suffering
He walked this place of sorrows
the Creator holds the universe
in the palm of his tiny hands

O Jesus
little baby boy
hold me
help me
have mercy on me

amen

all the goodbyes

a fleeting embrace
ending
with one last glance
one last wave
as you step
through security
with no one to help you
with your insecurity
ushered into
a waiting room
after transferring a kiss
from you hand
to her forehead
overwhelming outcomes
swirl in your mind
a quiet prayer
folded hands
shoulders
crushed beneath
sorrow and pain
rest
gently rest
i’ll see you
again
a collection
of expectations
neatly organized
as you donate them
to the upside down reality
that is also your lament

younger days
when smiles
were abundant
surrender to
deep steel eyes
aged by the weight
of all that you must release
all that you thought
was the melody of your journey
memories
that just fade
and others
that won’t go away
songs that remain
falling into the echoes
of time and reminiscence
of sad joy
and mournful gratitude
sunsets loudly
dazzle your soul
swallowed by night
colors overtaken
by unstoppable darkness
still
i welcome
every hello
every greeting
every start
every beginning
every hope
every hug
every grace
every possibility
every giggle
every sunset
every sunrise
while holding
all the goodbyes
and i’m glad
so
immeasurably
glad

i
am
with
you

unfurled alive and free

there is a desperate
feigned beauty
to a closed heart
not present to pain
like a tragic lullaby
an inconsolable melody
celebrating safety
striving to look like peace
reluctant to feel
locked up in dark silence
encased in emptiness

choose to feel
to stay connected
to what’s real
stay in the pain
even in the rain
gifts are to be found
don’t turn around
lament all that is broken
laugh as if it’s all okay
cry because
you know it’s not
take a step of faith
none of us is free
from danger
find a friend
who will walk
beside you
and let you feel

let you be
unfurled
alive
and free

let it all in let it all go

and i find that i’m choosing to let it all in
i stand in the light while i’m feeling the pain
that keeps falling like rain on my story again
and the clouds crowd my soul so i let it all go
carried on whispered prayers with hands pleading
lifted in unspoken longings eyes searching
for some kind of answer in this darkened light
embracing the rain and the clouds and all the unseen
running into the light as it reaches all that’s been
perhaps a lament or two will see me through
the paradox of this impermanent journey
a time for everything and everything in time
i’ll welcome the longing with singing
celebrate the love with understanding
that all is fading into unending yesterdays
and the clouds crowd my soul so i let it all go
and i’ll walk towards the light
keep my eyes on things above
and choose to love here below
and let it all go through trembling whispers of faith
until i find my way home with some amazing grace

His Light is near

this Christmas
may your soul shine
as you take time
to reflect on God above
and love your family
and see your story
is from His hand
of love

for you are here
and His Light is near
so lay those burdens down
this tiny Child
is here for you
so put away the frowns
and rest in His light
rest in His peace
rest in His joy
may you be free
and not anxious
for you are precious
for you are here
and His Light is near
for you are loved
from above
He came
to be
with
you

breakthrough

we people are a funny mix
don’t you think
or
at least i am

anyway

sometimes
the sun is shining
smiles and laughs
no room for whining
like i want to photograph
every moment
capture
the rapturous mood
i’m in

and
at
the
same
time

no
really
at the same time

rain pours down
all around this town
of memories that sprouts
like massive trees
in a forest of lies
and shame
and why’s
and pain
and ties to the past
that seem to last
like a long sad song

so
i
pray

break through
in rays of hope and light
dear Lord
help me regain my sight
and “though the wrong
seems often so strong”
You will make all things right
‘cause You’re writing a story
full of downpours and clouds
writing a story
of songs sung out loud
of Your love and Your glory
of the way that you carry
this tale called my life
in Your everlasting arms
i am choosing to rest
to stop and embrace
the things i don't see
to silently wait
to just.... be
and see you
breakthrough
all the rainy
and cloudy in me
breakthrough
and one day
make
all
things
new

the star maker knows

where is the solace
when life only brings darkness
an achromatic sunrise
unable to chase shadows
a sunset that never leaves

where is the gentle breeze
when life storms around and within
can’t breathe the rain soaked air
while i try to put on a smile
the pulse rate of my soul diminished

where are the hands
cradling a countenance
when the lonely tears
are seeking an embrace
standing in the middle of the universe
i guess the view is nice
but no one is there
to share the stars

i’ve heard it said
there is a place
where melodies and harmonies
take flight
like lullabies that never say goodnight
music you can taste
and hold in hand
or pull towards your heart
music that covers you
with a blanket of love and grace
the softest peace
a delicate abyss of joy

so i run to this place
in the darkness and the storm
i lift up my eyes
when it feels i can’t breathe
i fall into faith
when the tears want to stay
i tell my story
and let the music fill in the gaps
the star maker knows
each page of sorrow
each gaze of wonder
the calming comfort of trust
if i’m in the
pain of the valley
or the delight of the clouds
the star maker
knows
my
name
he knows my now
and my yesterdays
my what is to come

i breathe in timeless hope
i fall into
a vast fissure of love and rest

another valley is near
but
He
is
nearer