a Good Friday meditation

Good Friday.
2026.
The Cross of Jesus.

What does the crucifixion and death of Jesus on the Cross say to our modern, latte driven, texting oriented, overscheduled lives?

One of my earliest memories as a child was the large Cross in the sanctuary of the church I grew up in. When I tell my story I talk about how I first heard God speak to me as I pondered the Cross. It was not an audible voice I heard. It was more like an understanding that gently covered me. Looking at the figure of an emaciated, gaunt, suffering Jesus nearly dangling on a cross is the most important moment and image any one of us will ever behold or contemplate.

It is there where the mystery of the love and mercy of God meets the sin and darkness in my soul. It is there where the whole world can find freedom and forgiveness and where God lifts the burden and pain of failure and shame from the back of our souls, and from the very core of our being.

I am not speaking of magic, or some metaphysical allegory that somehow heals my brokenness. The Cross is not a place upon which we toss our wishful thinking. Reject it, mock it, turn away from it in disbelief… its power and proclamation remains undiminished… unhindered:

He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly.

He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed. Once you were like sheep who wandered away. But now you have turned to your Shepherd, the Guardian of your souls. – 1 Peter 2:23-25

The Cross is real. The suffering is unimaginable. In the course of human history no one has suffered like Jesus did. No one. Ever. Isaiah rightly describes Jesus and, apart from His grace and mercy, my response to Him. Our response to Him:

He was despised and rejected— a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.
We turned our backs on him and looked the other way.
    He was despised, and we did not care. – Isaiah 53:3

And it is the suffering of Jesus that, even as a young boy, called from deep within me a profound and unstoppable hope.

Look at the Cross. Reflect on the suffering of Jesus. This is what the love of God looks like. As a boy, I remember the light from the candles in St. Raphael’s parish dancing on the face of Jesus. Hope in flashes of flickering light on the crucified Christ. Now, so many years later, I realize that one of the many gifts of the suffering of Jesus is the assurance that he knows my suffering. He knows our suffering.

Have you ever been falsely accused? I bet you didn’t like it. Have you ever heard a friend make a promise to have your back and to see you through to the end, only to have that friend leave you all alone. All of Jesus’ friends did that to him. Have you ever felt that aweful deep down ache because you were misunderstood? Have you ever been physically struck and hurt because someone else thought it was funny? Have you ever been made fun of? Mocked? Have you ever experienced anxiety? Jesus sweated drops of blood as he prayed to His Father to, …take this cup from me.

Jesus chose to suffer for you. Now we can look to Him and ask Him to guide us, give us grace  and help us in our suffering and pain. But we must follow Him. It is too easy to want resurrection – and all praise to God, for Jesus is alive. But the only road to life and the light of Christ is the road of suffering.

We must follow Him along the via Dolorosa. The release from our pain, the soothing of our anxiety, the healing of our bodies, the calming of our mind is along the path of darkness, uncertainty, disorientation, rejection and confusion. It is taking our Cross and following Jesus. It is kneeling beside Him in the garden and saying not my will, but yours be done.

Good Friday.
2026.
The Cross of Jesus.

Will you reflect on the Cross today? Will you see Jesus suffering for you so that you, in the midst of heartache, loss, anxiety, rejection, and sorrow, can also experience the hope and understanding of our loving Savior?

Over the course of my life it seems that Jesus has continually reminded me of the grace, love and power of the Cross.

There was a Cross above us on the day we were married.
I saw the Cross at the end of a pew in the sad remains of the church I grew up in.
I saw the Cross in a small wooden prayer room decorated with the prayers of God’s children.
I saw the Cross brightly break through a cold, winter morning.
I saw the Cross on Salvation Mountain.
I saw the Crosses that my mom placed all over her house. 
I saw the Cross in the midst of the tragic loss of life, when so much ended for so many.
I saw the Cross in a new sanctuary. Still speaking to listening ears.

Ponder the Cross of Jesus. Let the Man of Sorrows cover your sin and shame. Walk with Him… listen to Him… confess your sins to Him… receive His forgiveness… He. Loves. You.

every moment

every moment is in the past
every experience dissolves into a memory
as soon as a moment in time arrives
it retreats into yesterday
the crimson and deep blue sea colors of a sunrise
merge with a new day
and they quietly disappear
after loudly announcing the gift of a new day
a photograph tries to stretch the brevity of the moment

but it remains powerless to make the moment last
it only amplifies the memory
which in turn makes the moment more elusive
it only brings to our consciousness
that the moment has slipped away
and continues to slip away beyond our reach
it only represents the beauty and majesty of the Creator
and brings us face to face
with this mysterious transient thing that we call life
which i think is why an old stoic and wise man once said

It is better to go to a home where there is mourning than to one where there is a party, because the living should always remind themselves that death is waiting for us all.
Sorrow is better than laughter; it may sadden your face, but it sharpens your understanding. Someone who is always thinking about happiness is a fool. A wise person thinks about death.
*

a bit dark

i suppose

but also true

pondering impermanence
stills our striving for things that do not last
heals our hearts of passions that never satisfy
pauses our pride in who we think we are

so i will welcome the loud colors
let the moments slip away
even as i too
am slipping away
following the crimson and deep blue colors
pondering the promises
of a heavenly voice

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. **


* Ecclesiastes 7
** Revelation 21

merry christmas

Dear WordPress family: wishing you all a joyful Holiday Season filled with light, love, and peace for you and yours.

i wonder

i wonder what she’s praying for
she’s pleading for
she’s kneeling for
i wonder what this child of God
is asking of her Lord

perhaps for peace inside her soul
and in this world
and in this world
perhaps for peace inside your soul
won’t you plead with her now

perhaps for love inside her soul
and in your heart
and in your heart
perhaps for love inside her soul
won’t you plead with her now

i wonder what she’s praying for
she’s pleading for
she’s kneeling for
i wonder what this child of God
is asking of her Lord

perhaps for rest from all her pain
from all her pain
from all her pain
perhaps for rest for you and me
from all the pain we feel

perhaps for pardon from her sins
from her sins
from her sins
perhaps for pardon for your sins
won’t you implore with her now

i wonder what she’s praying for
she’s pleading for
she’s kneeling for
i wonder what this child of God
is asking of her Lord

i wonder if we all could kneel
we all could kneel
we all could kneel
i wonder if we all could kneel
and join her right now
cry out with her now
be humble with her now
be a child of God
right now

notice

I AM

awaken
arise
be still
settle
listen
inhale
confess
receive
notice

I AM
I AM

witness
believe
understand
surrender
let go
love
live
exhale
release
give

I AM
I AM

ponder
accept
reality
engage
weep
truth
heart
days
months
years
time
eternal
trust

I AM

this tattered old town

in and around
this tattered old town
nestled in the state
of my mind
taking a stroll
on the pathways
through my soul
standing on the corner
i see memories
of younger days
melodies of different ways
on a street named regret
at the corner of joy
looking for an answer or two
reaching for something true
since i was a boy
acceptance
forgiveness
and gratitude
my heart yearns
for something more
than the sum total
of my days
so i set my gaze
on things above
the unseen real
unfailing love
and i wait
and choose to be still
as the sun
settles down
on this old tattered town
i welcome
the end of this day
knowing it is the only way
to a new dawn
another pathway
hidden in the Light
safe in Him
i rise
i am safe in Him
i’ll rise

something safe

something solid
something sure
at the beginning of the end
and i am feeling insecure
what will it take
for this heart
to settle down
i think
it’s something solid
something sure

something that lasts
something i can count on
i can’t seem to stop surrendering
to the stories i tell myself
no happy endings
why am i spending time
in all the shadows
won’t you tell me please
what will it take
for my mind to be at ease
i think
something that lasts
something i can count on

something quiet
something safe
when it all unravels
when the puzzle pieces
don’t match the picture
on the box
what will it take
for my soul to rest
for my eyes to see
i think it must be
something quiet
something safe
there is an old story
of the Son of Man
that abides
through the centuries
He walked upon
the same ancient soil
that i stumble upon
His words true and sure
pierce my heart
and a small glowing calm
lifts my head

for He was before
and will always be
His love is for all time
and my mind
can’t understand
but i choose to anchor
my thoughts to the peace
of His everlasting wisdom
His never ending love

and into all my searching
in the midst
of all the bingeing and the scrolling
He shouts stillness
into the noise of my life
calming
restoring
reminding
renewing
resurrecting
and singing over me
the pain remains
but i am unharmed
confusion seems to hold sway
but my fear is consoled
by His presence
beside me
above me
beneath me
all around me
there is a storm
but
He
is

an advent prayer

we sing of a silent night
and of a Wonderful Counselor
born on a bleak mid-winter
of starry skies
and angel choirs
while rushing here
and late again there
parties and gatherings
there’s so much left on our lists
we want Christmas
in our culture
but is Christ in our hearts
buy now pay later
real time tracking
replaces real time reflecting
pondering the Prince of Peace
Immanuel
God
with
us
we wail and cry
for the suffering in this world
while we pass by
the violence we commit
against ourselves
we stream and binge
have another drink or two
or we click
buy now
pushing the pain away
hoping this shallow
happiness will stay
even though we know
it’s just a matter of time
before that dark cold low
presses on our chest
so we keep doing
maybe later
later
we will rest
the hope of the world
this baby boy
born into the icy darkness
of our souls
is He welcome
in the home of your heart
the light of the world
born into the chaos
that is our pain
do we surrender
to His invitation
filled with grace and truth
for He entered into our suffering
He walked this place of sorrows
the Creator holds the universe
in the palm of his tiny hands

O Jesus
little baby boy
hold me
help me
have mercy on me

amen

help me to let go

i’m trying
to let go
sometimes surrendering
doesn’t fit
all the shoulds i’m chasing

you see
i have this life equation
that should equal
the sum total
of all my expectations
of how it all should unfold
and then i see it unravel
everywhere and nowhere
i want to be

i’m trying
to let go
after all
we will all one day
let go of everything
so why do i try
to hang on to so much

like my pride
why didn’t you take
my side
i can only see
the me side
of you

like still holding onto
my right
and i’m right
and you’re not
i can’t see
how dark
and confusing
i make it for you

like when i hold onto
my disengaged attitude
pushing you away
silencing your voice
you’re not real
you don’t really know
what you feel
so let me
tell you

like when i hold onto
my fear
i don’t think
you’ll stay here
if you see the real
in me

God
help me
to let go
and to know
that even when i fall
that i am descending
into freedom
decreasing into the fullness
of who you made me to be

God
please help me
to
let
go

endless sky and sea

i’ll try
and tell you why
this endless
sea and sky
brings to me
a sense of grace
it’s a calming space
memories of family
my little legs
running away from the waves
or dancing above the hot sand
shivering in the Atlantic cold
maybe i’ll be bold
and just jump right in
and swim
on the crest of this swell
crashing down now
in a swirl of briny sand
tossed and thrown
upon the shore
i always got up
and ran in for more
i remember dad
first taking my hand
then lifting me in his arms
as he marched into the sea
delighted and frightened
it’s all right
i’ll hold on tight
the waves don’t seem
to bother him at all
and if i stood still
at the edge
of the arriving
and departing ocean
i thought it was neat
that the sand would
steal my feet
could it just
swallow all of me
into the salted sea
it tasted so good to me
the roar and crashing waves
were like a melody
and at the end of the day
the world felt okay
it was so good to be
with family
by the endless sky
and sea