Tag: love

a wordless embrace

We (my wife and I) are grateful to be back in the hometown that we grew up in on Long Island. My parents still live in the house I was raised in, so coming home is always filled with nostalgia and the telling of old stories and discovering new memories.

It is rare to visit Long Island and not go to the beach to take pictures, but the weather has been dark, rainy, and windy. More like a blustery day in November from a Winnie the Pooh story than springtime in New York.

So, since walking through torrential cold rain along the shore did seem to have its drawbacks, I decided to take pictures of my home and found myself drawn to the… well… probably thousands of… knickknacks? Home decor items?… that are just… everywhere. I suddenly realized that my childhood home is like living in the pages of an “I Spy” book.

I am quite sure that Better Homes and Gardens (is that magazine still around?) would not feature this home in an article on “How to Decorate Your Home with 1,000 Little Things” or “The Latest Home Decor Trend: I Spy Living.” But I sure had fun finding little treasures on this Winnie the Pooh blustery day.

Retrobox! How cool is that? And tiny Santa pants, and a snow covered cottage, and – this is one of the themes in my home and life – “Coffee please.” Coffee, in case you are wondering, is the fountain of youth. Just ask my mom who is about to turn 97.

Music is another theme in my home. My dad would play energetic Puerto Rican (another theme) beats in a Spotify-less world where the radio host would announce the next song or two by completing a string of basically slurred Spanish words delivered at the speed of sound with a hearty, “LA SALSA!”

Jesus is another… not a theme… I would say a presence in my home. Reverence… spiritual interest and pursuit was imprinted on my heart in my growing up years. I am grateful for how that influence shaped me.

The deepest, most precious, immeasurable treasure in my home is love. This is my bride embracing my mom when we arrived in the evening. Moments like these adorn this home. It was not a perfect home. It has known heartache and sorrow. But at the center of a thousand knickknacks is a story of love… warmth… family… a wordless embrace… love.

a 4272023 morning

it's a 4272023 morning
the kind of morning
that will never be here again
the fire leaves are awakening
big blue skies are smiling
the proud trees are welcoming
a 4272023 morning

the silent digital sentinel
on our wrist
counts the seconds
that will make up the moments
of this gift we call a day
the unrepeatable you
this world of image bearers
in all our collective  journeys
we share
the sorrow
the waiting
the singing
the building
the crying
the disorientation
the confusion
the celebration
the shame
the brokenness
the wonder
the exhaustion
the despair
the longing
for meaning
the searching for love
it's who we are
glorious and ruinous

on this 4272023 morning
let’s remember together
our Creator is here
for you and me
for all the world
the Light has overcome the darkness
so we can open our hearts
and become fire leaves
illuminated
dazzling
sparkling
welcoming the Light
the everlasting Love
awakened by eternal songs
of redemption

so this 4272023 morning
will soon be gone
what will we leave behind
words of comfort
love and laughter
shared tears
forgiving eyes
grateful for
a 4272023 morning
and grateful
for you

latte la dee da day

it’s time start
another latte
la dee da day
man the traffic
is insane today
well
like every other day
routine kicks in
meetings
where no one
really meets
a zoom here
a zoom there
a formica connection
can look so nice
a cladding smile
hope they don’t see
my empty eyes
what does it say
when the best part
of this day
is traffic
on the way
home to my
netflix series
or was it hulu
what’s a lonely soul
to do
there’s a war somewhere
everybody’s yelling
but no one’s really saying
anything
that sounds like truth
or has some roots
that sink deep in my heart
so i lift up my eyes
and through the tears
i cry why
why did i say it that way
why did they make fun of me
why does the sadness stay
why God
do you sometimes
feel so far away
you see i’m in the boat
the horizon is gone
and the storms
rage within
and all around
so wake up Lord
wake up
i don’t know
what to do
but i know
you
are
here
in my messy today
in my messy yesterday
oh won’t you
wake up
my soul
because
i see the Tree
You there for me
i’ll linger here
and sing a song
to You
the melody
may be sad
but for now
it’s all i have
so it’s Yours
and
i
am
too

eye see you

eye wonder
if what i see
if there is more
than what eye see
of me
and you

interpretation
assumptions
stories
lies and truth
imaginations
distortions
chromatic
abberations
and sometimes
i choose to be blind
to you before me
for this is how
it should be
eye see you
before i see me

there are so
many filters
in my soul
many wilted
memories
monochromatic
melodies
i’m sorry
i just didn’t see
you there
the opaque pride
the veil inside
a sabotage
of my own

i want to see you
eyes on you
not eyes on me
living color
harmonies
i’m opening my eyes
to see
all the wonder
that is you
before
me

eye
see
you

let’s chase Light

it's not that the light has surrendered
or darkness has won
it's not that the day is done
or the night has begun

it's the rhythm of all things
the spinning and turning
the inhaling and exhaling
the rising and setting

it's the beauty
that accompanies
all that is held together
the colors that connect your soul
to the Artist of infinite insight
to the Artist who created colors
colors so exquisitely subtle
shades and hues
as countless as the sand on the shore

it's the clouds
and their random patterns
their playful textures
it's the breathless moment
when our eyes are transfixed
when we are able
to analyze and explain
and yet have no understanding

when our minds
our hearts
finally see something greater
we intuit the real
and that place of longing awakens
for love that lasts
for peace that endures
for hope fulfilled
for faith that comforts

let's chase Light
embrace the colors
take the long narrow way
of other-centered living
and loving
and seek
the Artist
of
our
souls

a sweet gentle hum

i am trying to remember
that song
i think it was a duet
before all went wrong
maybe in a minor key
a slow tempo
a slow dance
a sparkling melody
it definitely had harmony
how did that song go

or
more to the counterpoint
where did that song go
i touch a note
play a chord
i rise and fall each day
like a wandering tune
not quite on the beat
trying to see
trying to find
do re mi
trying to find
you and me

the lyrics
started out so sweet
a story of promises
a promise to keep
maybe the strings
had too much tension
maybe the strings
became unwound
wounds have a way
of making their own
sound
telling their own
tale
and they set sail
on an ocean
of i just don’t care
to sing anymore
i put too many quarters
in this silent jukebox
never going back to the shore

three four
four four
six eight
i thought we would
top the charts
with each take
and now the page
is just dots and lines
i’m looking for my entrance
for my cue
i’m looking
i’m looking
for me
and for you

learning a new song
signing a new line
counting us in
not counting us out
like an endless fermata
you waited for me
we had to rest
there is music in that silence
it’s not the best
is yet to come
more like
holding on
holding hands
auditioning again
finding the perfect blend
of our beating broken hearts
let’s start by humming
a sweet
gentle hum
a wordless
song
that tells it all
holds it all
believes it all
and still
loves
the story it tells

mysterious love

uncertainty
disorientation
a gray shadow
blankets the light
confusion
an opaque spirit
descends in my mind
and tries to dislodge
hope from my soul
it nearly succeeds

turn to the left
turn to the right
turn around
move
stay still
speak
remain silent
try
surrender
everything matters
and nothing does
i can’t focus
on the next step
what kind of morning
is this
what kind of dawn
haunts me

i think i’ll wait
i choose to listen
my Maker is near
and He whispers
through the diffused
shadows of my fear
He sings through
the longing in my tears
and in this moment
nothing has changed
the struggle remains
so i yield to this moment
and trust
in His mysterious
love

i sang along

i heard some music today
the rhythm section of a little girl
skipping behind her mom

a gentle touch
from a medical sage
as he sang
-  you’re going to be okay -

the pale brown dried hydrangeas
shivering or dancing
to the melody
of this damp winter wind

i heard the horn section
of one member
of the bumper to bumper traffic
play a long steady tone
no doubt the driver
was in the fermata lane
and rules are rules

even the gray sky
somehow drew it’s bow
across the horizon
a deep ostinato
boasting of its power
to tame the light

it’s all music to me
a chaos of simplicity
a pale beauty
a human connection
a reason to dance
when there is no reason
to be found
so

i
sang
along

cloudy christmas days

here’s to
cloudy christmas days
and windy songs
weaving through
the barren trees
can’t sing along
with the howling melodies
i’d rather stay
and be in this
cloudy christmas day

here’s to
cloudy christmas days
you see there’s loss
and grief
a friend in need
the clouds
are all around him now
nothing makes much sense
anyhow
except this
cloudy christmas day

here’s to
cloudy christmas days
when the dark tree
seems to be
the proper choice
i need to give voice
to loss
to mystery
and the agony
that stings a bit more
you never know
what’s in store
on a cloudy
christmas day

so i’ll just feel
this cloudy christmas day
the tears say
it’s ok
i know Eternal Love
has come
and Peace
and Light
i am trusting
through my tears
in the Way
the Truth
the Life
on this
cloudy christmas day

just be

what if today
you stopped

and decided
to be
and not just
to do

stillness
instead of the illness
of this
or that

can you be with yourself
can you open your heart
to the presence
of He who made all of the stars
and thought of you
before your first cry
before the first time
you opened your eyes

just close your eyes
breathe
He knows your name
breathe
He loves you
just be

take time
to remind
your mind
that you
are
loved
you
are
His
just
be