am i descending
or ascending
is this praying
or just doing my own thing
cradling my heavy head
in my tear stained palms
i think
this time it will be different
my life will change
my heart will finally
be rearranged
only to realize
that even if my knees
were nailed to the earth
i stubbornly refuse to bend my will
instead i choose to stand in shame
is this my heart rising
to our Father who art in heaven
or am i running
stumbling
down into myself
help me be free
let my eyes see
and may my ears
listen to the sheer silence
of your kindness
open this heart
mend my mind
in love
mercy
and forgiveness
i want to rise
so help me
bow down
be still
let go
and
listen to the sheer silence
of your kindness