Tag: Jesus

together we are america

I cannot recall a time when I felt more proud and profoundly sad – to the point of weeping – at the same time.

My mother and father were not wanted in the white suburban neighborhood that was the cultural context of my home. I only found out as an adult that my parents experienced racism. In junior high and high school I was often called a “spic” and also experienced racism.

My parents and the beautiful, crazy, loving till it hurt, generous, loud, FUNNY, hard working, intelligent, beautiful Puerto Rican family that I was a part of was the song, dance, and light of my life. 

Dancing in the basement of my uncle’s house in the Bronx while LP’s spun Salsa music in the air are golden memories that I would love… just love to step into and experience once again… even if it was just 5 minutes to see what, as a boy, I could not fully comprehend: people filled with so much love and joy who were also familiar with heartache, tragedy, misery and pain.

And, if I could be there again… just for 5 minutes… I would embrace them all and thank them and praise them for all the goodness, kindness and love they gave to me. They certainly weren’t perfect… but they were present… to me, to each other, and they found solace and refuge in their culture. A culture that celebrates, rejoices, works so hard, laughs and loves. They understood that together we are family.

My mother and father are Americans who were born in Puerto Rico. In case you are not aware, Bad Bunny is also an American born in Puerto Rico. I am the first generation on my father’s side born in New York. I am also an American. I still remember the sadness in my mother’s eyes because she struggled to speak English. My mom and dad are the most American Americans that I will ever know. They never forgot who they were and the beauty and depth of the culture of La Isla del Encanto

For the past 2-3 weeks I have been listening to Bad Bunny’s Grammy Award winning album, Debí Tirar Más Fotos. The songs feel like the soundtrack of my life. I could not be more proud to be Puerto Rican.

I was told that we are “…one nation, under God, INDIVISIBLE with LIBERTY and JUSTICE for ALL.” We can only make that pledge with integrity if we make it our mission. We can only make that pledge with honesty if that is how we choose to live and love others, especially those from all the nations that make up our nation. It seems that our behavior and our chosen allegiances reveal a different pledge: “…a nation, under siege from within, with liberty and justice for some…”

When Bad Bunny ended his amazing performance with “Together We are America” and the parade of flags from Latin American nations I began to think of the nations that make up our nation. I see no reason not to celebrate and learn about the nations that make up our nation, because together we are America. I see no reason not to listen, empathize and give liberty and justice for those who are marginalized, forced to live in fear, or just trying to make their way because they struggle with English, because together we are America. I see no reason not to dance, sing and celebrate my heritage and culture in the land of the free(?) because together we are America.

Thank you, mom and dad, for loving well. Thank you for being brave, strong and true to who you are in the midst of racism and hatred. Thank you for making life not about those who hate, but about passing on your heritage and legacy of laughter and love.

One day, when God gives justice and all is made right, our nation’s flag and pledge will no longer matter. It will be irrelevant. All nations will surrender before the true King of Kings. All nations will bow before the majesty and splendor of the victorious Savior of the world. We can celebrate all nations now because the nations will be welcome in eternity. Not just one nation. All nations.

I did not see a temple in the city, because the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple. The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp. The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendor into it. On no day will its gates ever be shut, for there will be no night there. The glory and honor of the nations will be brought into it.
Revelation 21:22-26

slow motion mending

sometimes i need to find
the time and silence
to unwind these coils of lies
these shackles of shame
and the commotion in my soul
so i sit in slow motion
while i name each derision
and consciously make the decision
to breathe in the Light of the World
and exhale all these false tales
that shield my heart
from receiving
the love on the Cross
He is bleeding
for me
losing His life
to save my own
taking my sin
calling it His own
this Christmas child
a King has come
to reign through love
and set me free
from the insanity
of my own making
so like these winter trees
i’ll surrender the leaves
those colors were so nice
but it’s just a show so i’ll let them go
and die
to what i think i know will set me free
and stay here in the mystery
of winter’s necessary death
it won’t last long
so with each breath
i’ll wait and sing a song
to the Christmas King
as He works in my soul
and rights all wrongs
He is my healer
my story writer
and life giver
i’ll wait
while He does
some slow motion mending
old things must have an ending
to make room for the new

help us down here

when i see all the unrest
the could care less
and carelessness from those
who should be our best
it’s like a colorless sunset
hollow empty shiny but still
somethin’s missin’
life is just dissin’
you and me
got to see these leaders
and who they really be
raisin’ anger
makin’ danger
riled up
fired up
lied to
free to
upset
regress
and not reset
the soul
or console the whole
of our cities
our children
all the cryin’ moms
does anyone hear
the tears
they just busy shoutin’
making fear
screamin’ for what
what
do
you
want
take off your mask
and task yourself with being someone
who is against the grain
relieving pain
runnin’ away from the insane
inane life drain
of sin and self
of placing humanity on the shelf
so your cause won’t die
what’s the use
if we just abuse
and use
and consider others
refuse to throw away
when they refuse to say
what i want them to say
Lord color us
with mercy and grace
make space for us to change
and stop leaning into feelings
and stay here kneeling into releasing
the darkness we think is the light
color our hearts with love light and truth
solid
unchangeable
unquenchable truth fire
that is higher
than our silly ways
have your way
save us from us
and deliver us to
a new that never dies
and that one day
will help us to transcend the skies
and leave this place of sorrow and woe
no more night
no more pain
tears left behind
oh God above
make it so
make it so
we confess our sin
leave judgment to you
invite you to look within
our broken hearts
help us to start
to say no to lies and yes to your truth
oh God
have mercy
have mercy
oh God
color our hearts
like a sunset singing loud
testifying that you are here
you entered our pain
lived died and rose again
HALLELUJAH!
won’t you help us
down here
won’t you help us
down here

something safe

something solid
something sure
at the beginning of the end
and i am feeling insecure
what will it take
for this heart
to settle down
i think
it’s something solid
something sure

something that lasts
something i can count on
i can’t seem to stop surrendering
to the stories i tell myself
no happy endings
why am i spending time
in all the shadows
won’t you tell me please
what will it take
for my mind to be at ease
i think
something that lasts
something i can count on

something quiet
something safe
when it all unravels
when the puzzle pieces
don’t match the picture
on the box
what will it take
for my soul to rest
for my eyes to see
i think it must be
something quiet
something safe
there is an old story
of the Son of Man
that abides
through the centuries
He walked upon
the same ancient soil
that i stumble upon
His words true and sure
pierce my heart
and a small glowing calm
lifts my head

for He was before
and will always be
His love is for all time
and my mind
can’t understand
but i choose to anchor
my thoughts to the peace
of His everlasting wisdom
His never ending love

and into all my searching
in the midst
of all the bingeing and the scrolling
He shouts stillness
into the noise of my life
calming
restoring
reminding
renewing
resurrecting
and singing over me
the pain remains
but i am unharmed
confusion seems to hold sway
but my fear is consoled
by His presence
beside me
above me
beneath me
all around me
there is a storm
but
He
is

a wordless embrace

We (my wife and I) are grateful to be back in the hometown that we grew up in on Long Island. My parents still live in the house I was raised in, so coming home is always filled with nostalgia and the telling of old stories and discovering new memories.

It is rare to visit Long Island and not go to the beach to take pictures, but the weather has been dark, rainy, and windy. More like a blustery day in November from a Winnie the Pooh story than springtime in New York.

So, since walking through torrential cold rain along the shore did seem to have its drawbacks, I decided to take pictures of my home and found myself drawn to the… well… probably thousands of… knickknacks? Home decor items?… that are just… everywhere. I suddenly realized that my childhood home is like living in the pages of an “I Spy” book.

I am quite sure that Better Homes and Gardens (is that magazine still around?) would not feature this home in an article on “How to Decorate Your Home with 1,000 Little Things” or “The Latest Home Decor Trend: I Spy Living.” But I sure had fun finding little treasures on this Winnie the Pooh blustery day.

Retrobox! How cool is that? And tiny Santa pants, and a snow covered cottage, and – this is one of the themes in my home and life – “Coffee please.” Coffee, in case you are wondering, is the fountain of youth. Just ask my mom who is about to turn 97.

Music is another theme in my home. My dad would play energetic Puerto Rican (another theme) beats in a Spotify-less world where the radio host would announce the next song or two by completing a string of basically slurred Spanish words delivered at the speed of sound with a hearty, “LA SALSA!”

Jesus is another… not a theme… I would say a presence in my home. Reverence… spiritual interest and pursuit was imprinted on my heart in my growing up years. I am grateful for how that influence shaped me.

The deepest, most precious, immeasurable treasure in my home is love. This is my bride embracing my mom when we arrived in the evening. Moments like these adorn this home. It was not a perfect home. It has known heartache and sorrow. But at the center of a thousand knickknacks is a story of love… warmth… family… a wordless embrace… love.

in a little corner of my home

a cup of coffee
in a little corner of my home
lights and shadows
remind me of what lies within me
darkness and light
love and hate
goodness and self-centeredness

the memories descend

life and love
family and friends
grace and peace
laughter and song
so many gifts
undeserved and plentiful

soon the wraith
of dim stories arrives
failures
loss
shame
and the quiet ache
of all things left undone
and of all that i have done
to others and to myself

i choose to surrender
to all the images
that so quickly float
through my mind
as i lift my gaze
in a little corner of my home

three crosses
Calvary
such an ugly place
of death
of pain
of sorrow
of suffering

and it is there
in the midst
of the darkness and light
of my life
it is only there
where the lies i tell
and the lies i believe
are exposed

where my shame is undone
in love and acceptance
where i trade my burden
for hope
mercy
love
and the lightness
of forgiveness

and i realize
He is here
with me
in a little corner
of my home

church of the nativity 3

crucifix detail

This is a detail from a crucifix located beneath the Church of the Nativity, Bethlehem. The site is the traditional location of the birth of Jesus.